Input on Ninafer NPC Mod

[CoM_Solaufein]

My soon to be former One Day NPC mod will soon be a full fledge large mod. I am currently working on her dialogues and new quests for her. If you have any ideas or such lets hear them! Go to our Nina forum or here and post your ideas and suggestions.

I think she is an interesting character and think she should be more developed then what I originally invisioned in a 24 hr time span.

[jcompton]

Select/confirm soundset needs punctuation.

Bio: Could use a bit more fleshing out, and misspells Candlekeep.

APPEND ~pdialog.2da~ // TOB append
~CMNINAF         CMNINAFP               CMNINAFJ             ***         ***           ***                 ***                 ***~

This isn't good, it means she doesn't have any TOB DLG files. Better fix it.

A general proofreading pass would be good. There are a lot of places where punctuation is lacking.
" Look at the sunset <CHARNAME> beautiful is it not?" , for instance.
"Look at the sunset, <CHARNAME>. Beautiful, is it not?"



In the one-day edition you have a LOT of dialogues that have just one PC reply, or one "good" PC reply and one "screw you" PC reply. This, of course, isn't necessarily surprising for a one-day project but really needs to be improved for a proper, full NPC release. In general I feel strongly that there should NEVER be only one PC option unless, say, the NPC is going to interrupt the PC regardless of what they say, and that you should try to offer at least three options whenever possible.

~Ninafer you appear to be a valiant and noble person.~ Aside from needing a touch of punctuation, you want to be REAL careful about BioNPCs declaring your NPC to be an exemplar right away. This is their first conversation together. And the conversation opens with Mazzy bookending very short comments around a monologue by Nina. It should be more give-and-take.

The LG Anomen banter... needs to be imploded and started anew. Anomen's way too over-the-top and the punchline isn't very punchy.

Keldorn banter has a similar issue to the Mazzy: He opens with a "gosh, you're wonderful" and it turns into a mutual admiration fest. More groundwork would be good.

Minsc isn't quite the type to say " Minsc ain't got time to bleed."


~This makes me happy <CHARNAME> (kiss the player on the cheek).~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT

Action-text in this style is typically done as second-person narrative.
~This makes me happy, <CHARNAME>. (Ninafer kisses you on the cheek).~

[CoM_Solaufein]

I admit there are a lot of nit pick errors in the mod. Ones I really dislike deal with grammar, spelling and punctuating. A pet peeve of mine that went pass my notice. I already went through most of the dialogues and corrected them.

It's always good to get a second opinion or more, since some issues come about that you may not see but others do. I did not realize the "one liners" for the PC that you pointed out. I'll correct those to bring in more possible out comes. I did not realize, again, on another problem and that was building her up to be great and the other npcs just say how swell and great she is. I'll have to alter the Mazzy one since it's really about duty to one's god. The Keldorn one was suppose to happen after a battle which is why he made a comment on her fighting ability. I forgot to add the CombatCounter(0) so the dialogue would have kicked in after a battle.

The Minsc comment was a reference from The Predator movie of the Jesse Ventura line when he was wounded. I like throwing in tid bits like that. But since it's not Minsc like I'll have to change it.

Thanks for the input. I may ask some questions later when they occur. 

[Imrahil]

A few thoughts off the top of my head...

- Vigilance is very strong for a starting out weapon - you might consider having it upgraded at some set point in the game or through Cromwell.

- Until you get a portrait that doesn't look like Viconia, everyone's first reaction is going to be "hey... she looks like Viconia..."

- In the Imoen-Nina dialogues, Imoen should use more contractions - saying "can not" instead of "can't" doesn't sound much like Imoen.

- I took her all the way through SoA & never even got a hint as to what Nina's Ring does.

- I'll echo the general proof-reading request.  After the first dialogue or two, I don't think I saw a single comma show up.  There's a few instances of confusing "your" & "you're" as well as "there", "their", & "they're".

- Imrahil

[CoM_Solaufein]

I do not like contractions and try to avoid them whenever I can, but out of habit I do use them. The college English and writing classes I took stressed not to use them but spell out the words. But I need to get "into character" and use them for her.

Yes it would appear I must have forgot to use my word processor for those evil, nasty spelling errors. Shit happens when you are rushed to meet a deadline. I'm not complaining I enjoyed making this 24hr NPC mod.

[Imrahil]

I do not like contractions and try to avoid them whenever I can, but out of habit I do use them. The college English and writing classes I took stressed not to use them but spell out the words.

Strange choice of grammatical rule to actually follow.    Just remember that most rules of grammar go out the window when people are talking.  It even sounds weird to me when you type "I do not like..." instead of "I don't like...".

Yes it would appear I must have forgot to use my word processor for those evil, nasty spelling errors. Shit happens when you are rushed to meet a deadline. I'm not complaining I enjoyed making this 24hr NPC mod.

A word processor probably wouldn't catch the lack of commas & would view "their" as spelled properly even if used improperly, so don't rely totally on an automated spell-check.

One other thing I thought of - Nina seems to have a grudge against Irenicus, but you don't ever really get to find out why, who sent her, etc.  It's almost like we're meant to assume that just because she's an Elf, that's reason enough.  More back-story via dialogues would help.

Good luck revising her - I'm looking forward to the More Than One Day version.

- Imrahil

[CoM_Solaufein]

One other thing I thought of - Nina seems to have a grudge against Irenicus, but you don't ever really get to find out why, who sent her, etc.  It's almost like we're meant to assume that just because she's an Elf, that's reason enough.  More back-story via dialogues would help.

Good luck revising her - I'm looking forward to the More Than One Day version.

- Imrahil

I had the idea of where she came from and why she takes things very personal with Irenicus when I created her. Time contraints again, I could have either write banters for npcs or fill in the issues between the two. The banters won out. I'm not going to give away my plot but there are hints laid out in her dialogues. One comes to mind is her and Jaheira's banter.

I need to redo her hell dialogues with Jon. Not enough emotion, emotional hate behind them in my opinion. Little Miss In Control of herself is going to come unhinged and lose her self control in hell over :certain events". 

[Aristothenes]

Only comment: Release mod first.
Text worry later.
And don't forget: Is he a compliment? <- Bioware