Author Topic: Your star sign?  (Read 5414 times)

Offline chaz58

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Your star sign?
« on: May 31, 2004, 06:16:47 PM »
A much more amusing/offensive to everyone version of the signs of the Zodiac.   ;D


Signs of the Zodiac
*******************
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb 18) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser.

ARIES (Mar21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.

TAURUS (Apr 21-May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a communist.

GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors. -

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

CAPRICORN (Dec22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically spineless. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Become a monk.



I'm a Libra, btw.  :'(

Offline Alarielle

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2004, 06:20:03 PM »
Quote
CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.
Damnit.
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Offline icelus

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2004, 06:20:50 PM »
Quote
GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Hey, baby... what's *your* sign?   :-*
« Last Edit: May 31, 2004, 07:41:09 PM by Icelus »
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Offline Andyr

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2004, 06:32:12 PM »
LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors.

Lies, all lies! I AM MUCH BETTER THAN THAT! I DEMAND THIS THREAD LOCKED OR DELETED!
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Offline Kismet

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2004, 06:38:20 PM »

CAPRICORN (Dec22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically spineless. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Become a monk.


I was going to say something nasty about this, but I don't dare.
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Offline Perdita

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2004, 06:51:54 PM »

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors. -


Except for the "thieving sod" part, all true.   ;) 
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Offline Lord Doomhammer

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2004, 07:35:49 PM »
Quote
PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser.

Well.. as much as i dont want to admit it, this fits me to a tee, the imagination, the power, the resentment, the being a loser.... And im wanted in TWELVE countries I tell you!

So full of hate!

"I.. have.. come.. to.. em.. ploy.. you.. in.. my.. fac.. tory.. in.. starns.. bury."

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Offline neriana

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2004, 07:41:53 PM »
LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

I see a contradiction in mine.
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Offline discharger12

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2004, 07:48:44 PM »
Elepantente (Smarch15-Azale 25) - You are loved by all, and everyone thinks your're the best. If it there wasn't a god, people would worship you.
Most Elephantentes have their own cult.

OMG! I AM WORSHIPED!!!
« Last Edit: May 31, 2004, 07:53:10 PM by Josh »

Offline Mongoose87

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2004, 07:58:37 PM »
We must fight to have the distinction between a bad job and no job made!!!!
Liobra!?   I cannot accept this!!!!


LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Is it just me, or does it sound like this guy would enjoy himself a lot more than any of the others?
« Last Edit: May 31, 2004, 08:11:58 PM by Mongoose87 »

Offline Kismet

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2004, 08:09:43 PM »
LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

I see a contradiction in mine.

They never said that they were any good at it.
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Offline Ghreyfain

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2004, 08:13:04 PM »
Or perhaps they donate all their whoring proceeds to charity?
Earn Money Sleeping.

Offline icelus

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2004, 08:15:39 PM »
Whoring for charity.  Now there's a novel idea.  :)

* Icelus goes to setup a non-profit organization... Ho's for AIDS
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Offline BigRob

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2004, 08:23:46 PM »
Whoring for charity.  Now there's a novel idea.  :)

* Icelus goes to setup a non-profit organization... Ho's for AIDS
Well, I doubt you'll have any lack of those willing to give for a good cause.  :D
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Offline Dark Raven

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2004, 08:26:28 PM »
Simple minds simple pleasures.  :P
Per me si va nella citta dolente.
Per me si va nell eterno dolore.
Per me si va tra la perduta gente...
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Offline Moreina

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2004, 08:31:30 PM »

ARIES (Mar21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.

     So, what else is new?

Offline Dark Raven

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2004, 08:37:36 PM »
A much more amusing/offensive to everyone version of the signs of the Zodiac.   ;D




VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.


True how true.
Per me si va nella citta dolente.
Per me si va nell eterno dolore.
Per me si va tra la perduta gente...
Lasciate ogni speranza perduta che'entrate!

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Offline Mongoose87

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #17 on: May 31, 2004, 10:15:17 PM »
Wouldn't the constant movment wake you up?

Offline Stoplight Red

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #18 on: May 31, 2004, 10:21:42 PM »
Quote
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

All I want to know is, how did they find me out?
<StoplightRed> right, right. but see, most of my friends really aren't bastards.
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Offline mcruz

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #19 on: May 31, 2004, 11:27:39 PM »

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

Not worth the time of day??........why you.......just you wait till I win the lottery ;D
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Offline MyFinalHeaven

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #20 on: May 31, 2004, 11:36:00 PM »
Bah! Bisexual and incestious.
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let me lick your feathers back.
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Offline KIrving

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #21 on: May 31, 2004, 11:36:20 PM »
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VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex.
;D We're a real catch!
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Offline melora

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #22 on: May 31, 2004, 11:45:33 PM »
im a Taurus... yep, its pretty accurate.... hey, how do you quote just part of someone's post anyway?
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Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #23 on: June 01, 2004, 01:13:02 AM »
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

I AM NOT A BUS DRIVER!!!

oh well, its time to gather my ho's and raise some money for my favorite charity...me... :-*
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Re: Your star sign?
« Reply #24 on: June 01, 2004, 01:51:12 AM »
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CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.
Holy hell - that is EXACTLY like me.