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Miscellany, Inc. => Ensign First Class Blather => Topic started by: Eral on January 10, 2006, 06:14:46 PM

Title: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 10, 2006, 06:14:46 PM
Sim tried to start a discussion on this elsewhere, but for some reason - you are baffled by it as I am, I'm sure - he was viewed as a trouble-making troller and invited to cease following his line of inquiry.

Ghrey doesn't believe in celery or coriander, Sim doesn't like barnacles. I used to love snails as a child - their little horns, and their silvery trail - loved them. Then I became a gardener and lost a new planting of basil overnight to the little bastards, and now they are anathema to me. I heard they suffer horribly in salt and thought seriously about tormenting some. The word fills me with indignation.  I am interested, and feel we can get at least two pages out of this subject.

Celery - no, don't get it. It's crunchy, great with salt or peanut butter, and when you cut a frill in one end and put it in cold water it goes all curly. Mr. FPS doesn't like coriander because it's too lemony, but as I am a fan of lemons we live in constant conflict.
Barnacles- damage your boat and hurt your feet when you walk on them in the rock pools and you never get to see them open. I begin to see it.
Snail - no doubt. Terrible term. I wonder why it isn't used instead of 'worm.' It would make much more sense. Worms are good and interesting creatures in that they have the dullest lives imaginable, and I have never understood why 'worm' is a term of disapprobation. 'Snail' would make much more sense.


 
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Jon on January 10, 2006, 06:32:36 PM
Quote
I heard they suffer horribly in salt and thought seriously about tormenting some.

I read about that in a Calvin and Hobbes book (I still read them) when I was a child and have always wanted to do it ever since.

Quote
Then I became a gardener and lost a new planting of basil overnight to the little bastards,

I didn't know snails were capable of such wrathful destruction. How could their do something like that?

I like the insult "worm". They're squishy, have no meaning in life, easily killed, but can regrow limbs so right when you think "Aah, no more of that pesky little worm!" they're regrown and are bothering you again.

Snails, however, don't really bother anyone. Worms can crawl on you, get in your shorts, etc. Snails are so slow they wouldn't be able to bother you if they wanted to.

Yeep.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 10, 2006, 09:18:10 PM
Excuse me, but worms have a very important meaning in life. They aerate soil and fertilise it with their poo, making a valuable contribution to The Cycle of Growth And Life in One's Garden. Every time you squish a worm, you are wrecking the delicate balance of Nature. Perhaps not on the scale of those who failed to sign the Kyoto Agreement, and are busy watching tonnes of greenhouse gases pump into the atmosphere,  but up there.

Snails on the other hand, only live to eat stuff in your garden that you don't want them too. It was OK when all they got was the cabbage in Mum's garden, but basil! They go too far.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Jon on January 10, 2006, 09:45:40 PM
Well, I certainly do hope the great worms of Nature will accept my humble apology.

Do you know how a snail looses its shell and becomes a slug?

They must have some purpose in life other than ruining ones garden.
Maybe I'll plutter around Google or something.

Maybe I'll look on dictionary.com to see if "plutter" is even a word.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Drew on January 10, 2006, 09:53:37 PM
Only a complete, total, and utter moron with an endowment smaller than my pinky and big ears would fail to sign the Kyoto agreement.  So, Eral, who was it that failed to sign?
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Ghreyfain on January 10, 2006, 11:09:18 PM
Celery, when you trim it, can leave enzymes on your skin that react to sunlight, causing horribly painful second degree chemical burns that scar for life.  I've got some on my wrists where most people slit their veins, since I hung around in the sun one day after work, after trimming the celery.

Cilantro, same thing.  When you dunk a case of that in warm water, it stinks like absolute hell.  And I'm not offended by it, I just like being confrontational.  Relax.

Celery, though.  Evil and dangerous.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 10, 2006, 11:58:26 PM
Perhaps Ghrey, you have a rare sensitivity to it not generally experienced by others? Interesting idea. I have routinely trimmed celery often in the course of my life, unaware of the dangers. There's a Muppet Movie in this theme, just waiting to break out.
I sort of took it for granted your stance on coriander was in fun. Umm, it's not like you need to put 'I like being confrontational' in your sig, though you could use words like 'wittily obstreperous' and 'caustic humour' to warn those who don't get it. I still want to know why you put coriander in warm water, though. And why it is in a case.

Drew, we all know who didn't sign the Kyoto Agreement. I have expressed my views on the man often enough, that if ever he dies I will be a suspect. Now, do you have any fun offensive terms?  (I was going to say "let he that has George Bush for President cast the first stone", but as that is you I decided it wasn't a very good retort.)
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Drew on January 11, 2006, 05:07:49 AM
Now, do you have any fun offensive terms?  (I was going to say "let he that has George Bush for President cast the first stone", but as that is you I decided it wasn't a very good retort.)
Sure.  Having Carl Rove's hand up your ass* for 8 years has got to be uncomfortable.  I actually feel kind of sorry for the president.

* For the irony impaired, this is my offensive way of saying that Bush is Rove's puppet.  It isn't a gay joke.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Jon on January 11, 2006, 04:07:03 PM
I sort of feel bad him for as well. Emphasis on sort of. He's really not as bad as the media makes him out to be. We don't ever even hear about all the good things going on in Iraq; just the facts and figures of how many of our men have died, and how Bush has still not yet assigned an offical Let's Get the Hell Out of Here date.

Let's not forget that the many (many, many, many, many...) Iraqies who have joined our troops are extremely grateful for what we are doing.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Ghreyfain on January 11, 2006, 04:24:52 PM
Perhaps Ghrey, you have a rare sensitivity to it not generally experienced by others? Interesting idea. I have routinely trimmed celery often in the course of my life, unaware of the dangers. There's a Muppet Movie in this theme, just waiting to break out.
I sort of took it for granted your stance on coriander was in fun. Umm, it's not like you need to put 'I like being confrontational' in your sig, though you could use words like 'wittily obstreperous' and 'caustic humour' to warn those who don't get it. I still want to know why you put coriander in warm water, though. And why it is in a case.

I work in a produce department.  I thought you knew that.  Where you trim one stalk of celery, I trim... 150 or so.  And cilantro comes in a case so it doesn't get squished.  And 48 of 'em in warm water stinks to high heaven.  And one dips them in warm water because if you use cold water it just closes up their pores or whatever, and they don't get any benefit from the crisping.  And you can tell a ripe pineapple by checking for mold on the bottom.  And etc.

I am also going to go look up obstreperous.  I like the sound of it.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Dark Raven on January 11, 2006, 05:35:10 PM
I thought barnacles were rock like things found in the ocean.  ???
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 11, 2006, 06:36:00 PM
No Ghrey, I didn't know that. You usually refer to "work" although your knowledge of exotic fruits and vegetables was a clue which I didn't get. Anyone who deals with 150 of any kind of vegetable daily has a licence to hate them, even if the vegetable is not secretly dangerous to human skin. (John Wyndham's 'Day of the Triffids' could be updated now we have this knowledge. Maybe it was celery he was thinking of when he originally conceived the idea.)
Thanks for the explanation - I googled "cilantro" (new word for me) and the first article said many people hate coriander because of the way it smells in warm water. As I have only ever rinsed fresh coriander in cold water just before I chop it up and add it to the kebabs or stir-fry or marinade, I have never experienced this phenomenom.

BR, they're not rocks, they're little sea-animals in shells like clams and mussels. They attach themselves to rocks and boats and are extremely hard to remove.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Bex on January 11, 2006, 06:58:37 PM
In Canada, we usually know coriander as only the seed (? whatever goes into the dried spice, anyway) of the plant, and cilantro is the leafy green herb. I think this may be tue all over North America, or so it seems from reading recipes for Mexican food.

I was quite fascinated, looking at a British cookbook one time, to learn that eggplant is also called aubergine and zucchini is courgette. What do you call them in Australia?
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 11, 2006, 08:08:47 PM
Eggplant and zucchini. I think it is an anti-Britain phase we are going through in order to establish our own identity. I am going to assume the terms come from Europe, in order to continue my deluded belief that we are not pseudo-American, as once we were pseudo-British.
We used to refer to a fruit we now call Kiwifruit as Chinese Gooseberries. I have always wondered why the name changed.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Bex on January 11, 2006, 08:15:21 PM
Eggplant still sounds pretty English to me, but zucchini is definitely Italian. I believe this type of squash originated in Italy, so it's the Brits who are guilty of sticking it with another name. Hmm... maybe it dates to WWII, when they renamed German shepherd dogs Alsatians and daschunds became very unfashionable. Maybe anything which came from a fascist country underwent a "rebranding."

(JC: Please do not consider this a discussion of Hitler and exile us to a group of yahoos.)
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Dark Raven on January 11, 2006, 08:20:21 PM
How bloody strange this thread has evolved.  ???
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Pigeon on January 12, 2006, 05:13:39 PM
All this talk of veggies and plants is a code... right?
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Bons on January 12, 2006, 05:48:43 PM
All this talk of veggies and plants is a code... right?

Just wait for my next planned thread!

As for "barnacle," I do find the word unsettling. For some reason, it makes me think of sexually transmitted diseases. Perhaps it's the crab factor that has given sea-dwelling creatures an unsavory undertone. Whatever the cause for my subconscious association, I'd definitely be more affronted if I were called a barnacle than if I was compared to some other clinging organism, such as lichen or Saran Wrap.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I am afraid of pigeons.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: SimDing0™ on January 12, 2006, 05:51:07 PM
The origin of "barnacle" as a running joke is a complex, but ultimately innocuous one. It derives primarily from graffiti in one of my lecture theatres, presumably written by someone much funnier than me, that reads "if the person behind you says 'barnacles', do a mexican wave".
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Bex on January 12, 2006, 05:57:39 PM
As for "barnacle," I do find the word unsettling. For some reason, it makes me think of sexually transmitted diseases. Perhaps it's the crab factor that has given sea-dwelling creatures an unsavory undertone. Whatever the cause for my subconscious association, I'd definitely be more affronted if I were called a barnacle than if I was compared to some other clinging organism, such as lichen or Saran Wrap.

Maybe you're associating it with "carbuncles."

Side note: Exclaiming "barnacles!" seems to be the equivalent of "oh poo!" in the world of Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 12, 2006, 06:07:05 PM
All this talk of veggies and plants is a code... right?
No Pigeon, it's just blather. Discussion freely and without terribly subtle sub-text of anything and all that interests us. (Imagine some stirring patriotic music playing in the background here.) Where moderators don't lock threads unless they are about the H-man or the R-word (and that seems to be fetish jc has just developed, let's hope we don't have to start making references to the P-word). Where underwear is discussed with the same seriousness as dope and libertarianism. Where off-topicness can occur on the first page of a thread. Where St. Jo brims to over-flowing with happiness that we are no longer her concern and consigns us with joy to our Dwarven Moderator.
It's not everybody's cup of tea. But as you can see, we are many, and someone always comes up with the goods.

Sim, are you sure they were funnier than you? Was there much likelihood of the word 'barnacle' being mentioned? (This is where we find out Sim is studying marine biology.) And did it ever work?
I am somewhat disappointed to find such a reasonable explanation behind your view. I like Bons' theory better.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Veloxyll on January 12, 2006, 10:38:36 PM
Underwear is perhaps more important than Liberatarainism and dope. After all, you can choose to ignore Liberatarainism or dope easily enough, but Underwear is just one of those things that's always nagging your mind. What would the world be like without underwear? How would I feel if I had none? Would I notice? Would anyone else notice? These are serious questions here!
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 12, 2006, 11:21:57 PM
Vel, did you mean to put that in the Underwear thread, or are you providing an example of a typical EFCB non-sequiteur?
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Veloxyll on January 12, 2006, 11:34:26 PM
It is exactly where it is supposed to be

(I was going to write belongs, but I'm not sure that's for me to decide)
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Regullus on January 13, 2006, 12:18:16 AM
All this talk of veggies and plants is a code... right?
No Pigeon, it's just blather...

*Regullus sits in stunned silence, within her frozen heart she feels a thaw, and for the first time since those dark days after St Jo left, she feels...  something? It’s pride! She is proud of Ensign First Class Blather. Moved beyond words by Eral's eloquent defense of blather, she rises to her feet and begins to slowly clap.*

The phrase "slow clap" usually refers to the tentative beginning of applause, especially in American movies from the 1980s (as parodied in Not Another Teen Movie). It derived its dramatic usefulness as an indicator of a shift between public scorn and public praise.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Eral on January 13, 2006, 07:33:23 AM
"Semantics' is an evil, evil word and should be torn out of every dictionary in the world, and anyone who uses it should have eat all the pages until they are as sick of it as I am.
Title: Re: 'barnacle' : an offensive term?
Post by: Idobek on January 13, 2006, 07:56:37 AM
I see your "semantics" and raise you a "subjective".