Well I was using version 5, or the zip file was named v5 anyway, so the boy thing wasn't fixed. He's a little pain in the ass huh? Just refuses to wait outside!
During that game i didn't have the racial things turned off, I purposely left the romance things off completely at that point, and i never got any of Viconia's romance talks so she clearly didn't think we were in a romance, except when I was spending time with Lynn. So sort of all the bad, none of the good there...
I'm trying to recall, I think that the viconiaromanceactive stays at 1, even if the viconiamatch is set to 0 indicating she's not interested. It will only go to 3 if the pc dismisses her actual advances, or manually sets it to 3. And obviously if she never starts the lovetalks I can't reject her. Not sure why the BG2 makers did it that way.