Author Topic: Comments on "Death and Taxes"  (Read 1390 times)

Offline Bons

  • Global Moderator
  • Planewalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 1237
  • Gender: Female
  • Glad Corvis Isn't Dead Club
Comments on "Death and Taxes"
« on: May 15, 2004, 10:26:00 AM »
What? No one's commented on "Death and Taxes" yet?!?!

Well, I can't have that. This is my Ben & Jerry's ice cream story: the kind you don't get to read online every day, but each byte is a sinful pleasure.

Opening line:
Quote
“The gods are pissing on the roof again,” said Snick. He wiped dribbles of rain from the bar and glared up at the leaky ceiling. “Bastards couldn’t hold it until I got the new shingles nailed on.”

Now that's a first paragraph, as my friend Julia would say, that scans. Three little lines, and Kirwond has me submersed in the gritty dive that is film noir. It's ten in the morning, and I want a whiskey to celebrate - that's the mood. That atmosphere doesn't let up, not for a minute, until I'm pretty sure I'm having more fun reading a wickedly sharp and poignant piece of fan fiction than ought to be altogether legal.

Now, Kirwond had the disclaimer at the beginning regarding the characterization of Sarevok, but this is how I feel about this story:  it's precisely the way she has employed Sarry's character that makes it so clever. Rather than alter any existing persona for the sake of fitting him or her into a genre piece, she's picked precisely the perfect characters to fulfill their potboiler roles. It's magic; it's well-paced; it's well-written.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: I love "Death and Taxes" more than Cherry Garcia. It's a great confection, concocted in just the right proportions of smoothness and bits to sink your teeth into, and, best of all, it'll never, ever, go straight to my thighs.

Well done, Kirwond!

Newt had always suspected that people who regularly used the word "community" were using it in a very specific sense that excluded him and everyone he knew.

             --Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"

Offline Bri

  • Planewalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 45
Re: Comments on "Death and Taxes"
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2004, 05:28:56 PM »
Heh, for me the time is more along the lines of 3 AM and a massive headache due to the cosh on the back of my head.

More seriously, Kirwond has perfectly captured the feel of noir, and the fact she pulled it off for a fanfiction is even more amazing.

Heh, as I posted before, I really loved this story, but I guess that is nothing new.

Offline Kirwond

  • Planewalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 75
  • Gender: Female
  • Attila the Hun with a cinnamon bun
Re: Comments on "Death and Taxes"
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2004, 08:24:32 AM »
Hey, thank you, Bons and Bri. I'm thrilled that you folks are still enjoying the story. ;D
"Yes, I remember Avalon," he said, "a place of silver and shade and cool waters, where the stars shone like bonfires at night and the green of day was always the green of spring. Youth, love, beauty--I knew them in Avalon. Proud steeds, bright metal, soft lips, dark ale."
--Roger Zelazny

Offline Perdita

  • Lost
  • Planewalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 109
Re: Comments on "Death and Taxes"
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2004, 08:27:42 PM »
I've just re-read the story.  I think if possible it is even better than before.  This is an excellent story, with a perfect noir tone.  I agree with Bons, that the characters chosen to fill the roles fit perfectly.  I especially enjoyed the characterization of Sarevok.

I love your great lines and well-chosen similies:
Quote
But tonight, she was all over Imoen’s offer like flies on an orc.

“I’m not nice, I’m vicious. It’s part of my charm.”

The mystery plot even made sense!  I know how hard it is to write a mystery in which the plot makes sense, because I've failed to do it.   :)

If anyone hasn't read this story before, they need to do themselves a favor and read it, and for those who have read it before, read it again.  I wish we could go out on the other forums and pull people in.  "Look here, good stuff inside!"
Ever wonder what an impulsive bard would do if she feared her boyfriend Anomen were turning back into a vampire?  No?  Well, read my new fanfic, Life During Wartime, and find out anyway.

Offline Kirwond

  • Planewalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 75
  • Gender: Female
  • Attila the Hun with a cinnamon bun
Re: Comments on "Death and Taxes"
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2004, 11:51:49 AM »
Thank you very much for the kind words, Perdita.  It was very nervewracking to write the mystery. You won't believe how many checklists I had going, hoping that I wouldn't miss something.  :D
"Yes, I remember Avalon," he said, "a place of silver and shade and cool waters, where the stars shone like bonfires at night and the green of day was always the green of spring. Youth, love, beauty--I knew them in Avalon. Proud steeds, bright metal, soft lips, dark ale."
--Roger Zelazny

 

With Quick-Reply you can write a post when viewing a topic without loading a new page. You can still use bulletin board code and smileys as you would in a normal post.

Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.

Name: Email:
Verification:
Type the letters shown in the picture
Listen to the letters / Request another image
Type the letters shown in the picture:
What color is grass?:
What is the seventh word in this sentence?:
What is five minus two (use the full word)?: