Comments on "Life During Wartime"

[Perdita]

I'm glad you liked this chapter, Regullus.  It was a lot of fun to do.  I liked that little cliffhanger myself.   

I was kinda waiting to see if I had any accolades to bask in, or brickbats to dodge, before I posted the next chapter, but it seems all my readers have scarpered off.  Halloo, halloo, out there in cyberspaceland, is anyone reading?   

[St. Josephine]

I was kinda waiting to see if I had any accolades to bask in, or brickbats to dodge, before I posted the next chapter, but it seems all my readers have scarpered off.  Halloo, halloo, out there in cyberspaceland, is anyone reading?   

We're out here, with nary a brickbat in sight! 

I'm a sucker for cliffhangers!

[Perdita]

OK, you two get a new chapter.   

[Bookwyrme]

Yay!  Another chapter.

Thanks Josephine & JCompton for coaxing this out of her.

Perdita, if you want me to yell for more every chapter, just say so. I'll be glad to   You can't write fast enough as far as I'm concerned. I love your gloryhound.

"Perdita, my boots are too tight"

[St. Josephine]

  All those stories bards tell, the heroic sagas—I’ve told them myself for coin—what they never say is how damn hard it is to have everyone depend on you.  Perdita, should we storm the front gates; Perdita, should we enter the crypt; Perdita, my boots are too tight.

I love this line.   

[Regullus]

  Loved the Korgon exchange and persuasion. Why do I pretend to have a favorite section?
 I loved it all! Although, I did really love Edwin's perplexed attitude too.

  I am going to revert to the classic, "LOL, and More plz!"

   

 

[Perdita]

Yay!  Another chapter.

Thanks Josephine & JCompton for coaxing this out of her.

I'd have to put Kelsey in to get jcompton to read, I'm afraid, and not that I have anything against Kelsey, but I did most of my playing before he was a byte on jcompton's computer, so I regret I haven't yet had the pleasure of really getting to know him.  One day I'll start playing again.

Perdita, if you want me to yell for more every chapter, just say so. I'll be glad to   You can't write fast enough as far as I'm concerned.

No need to yell for more, but there are just two chapters plus the epilogue left.  I guess I'm trying to stretch them out.

I love your gloryhound.

"Perdita, my boots are too tight"

I think you can tell, I have a real affection for this character.  She may live again in some other venue, I don't know.

Thanks also Regullus and St. Josephine for your comments.  I wish I had more chapters to give you.   

Here is the new one.  Let me know what you think.

[Bookwyrme]

Yay! There's more! There's more!

*Does a happy dance.

No need to yell for more, but there are just two chapters plus the epilogue left.  I guess I'm trying to stretch them out.

Aaaww. Only 2 more?   

Still--no need to slow down on our account.

She howled.  ?You?ve ruined my manicure.  You will pay now.?

 

You do such a good job of mixing the humorous with the serious & suspensful.

The vampiric mist resolved itself into an all-too-familiar form.  ?Heya, it?s me, Imoen.?

Woah! Didn't see that one coming!

I look forward to seeing how this plays out.

[jcompton]

Yay!  Another chapter.

Thanks Josephine & JCompton for coaxing this out of her.

I'd have to put Kelsey in to get jcompton to read, I'm afraid

Now, wait a sec. That IS one J. Compton back in mid-May commenting on this story.

I will admit that I haven't been doing more than skimming the last couple of chapters before this latest, though, as I found that I'm still being distracted by the gameworld mechanics being spoken about openly (I know you're doing it on purpose, but to me the story is too "tween"... it's _basically_ in the actual gameworld, you're not doing a straight-up parody, and yet we're comparing things like attacks per round and damage dice...) and not quite being dragged into the love polygons that are being established in various scenes. And not really embracing Edwin the Psychotherapist.

Sure, I'm a sucker for an intriguing Kelsey story, but I hardly think it's a requirement.

[Regullus]

SPOILER AHEAD:


Immy???!!! Too fabulous!!!

You handled the standard battle elements wonderfully. It is not easy to use Bioware fighting catchphrases in a story gracefully. Granted, (Regullus sighs jealously) you only had to work with a group of five instead of the normal six, but it can get very tiresome having to state what each party member is reacting to and doing in a fight. Beautifully and amusingly done.

Please, I would like a list of every Perdita story on the web. I know of your stories here, and two stories over at FW. Please tell me you have more.

Modified to Clarify: When I said Perdita, I meant Cyn. Any story, does not have to have Perdita in the tale, does not have to be a BG, any story you have written. 

[St. Josephine]

Ooh, very nice!  The quote fromr the head vampire as she appears is priceless. 

I have to admit, I'll be sorry when this ends because I really like Perdita as a character.  And I like the anachronisms... I find the fact that Perdita has to stop her Bard Song to make a comment as they are creeping about just hilarious.  When I've played bards, for some reason, I always imagine them shouting over the Bard Song as if it's comes from a different place than their voice--you know, like we aren't supposed to know where the purr of a cat comes from, maybe the Bard Song of a bard comes from some mysterious non-throat place as well?  Ok, maybe not. 

[Perdita]

Woah! Didn't see that one coming!

I look forward to seeing how this plays out.

I was afraid it was too obvious.  Glad it came as a surprise!

You do such a good job of mixing the humorous with the serious & suspensful.

When I started writing, I was as surprised as anyone that it came out humorous.  I told someone that when I read aloud in class, someone laughed.  She looked at me like she wanted to say, "I'm sorry."  Then I had to tell her, "It was supposed to be funny."

Now, wait a sec. That IS one J. Compton back in mid-May commenting on this story.
...
Sure, I'm a sucker for an intriguing Kelsey story, but I hardly think it's a requirement.

Yeah, but—Made you look.   

I will admit that I haven't been doing more than skimming the last couple of chapters before this latest, though, as I found that I'm still being distracted by the gameworld mechanics being spoken about openly (I know you're doing it on purpose, but to me the story is too "tween"... it's _basically_ in the actual gameworld, you're not doing a straight-up parody, and yet we're comparing things like attacks per round and damage dice...) and not quite being dragged into the love polygons that are being established in various scenes. And not really embracing Edwin the Psychotherapist.

I thought I’d removed the most overt game mechanics references; I’ll have to look at it again.  I’ve tried to use terms like “endurance” instead of “constitution.”   I really didn’t know what to do with Valygar, so I tried to make him a sort of fighting nerd, but there is some awkwardness there.

“love polygons”  That’s good.     Can I have it?  Most of them are supposed to be merely decorative, and the Farielle is supposed to be a misdirection, but I’m not very good at that, so my intent was probably transparent.

I can see that a reluctant Edwin pushed into a therapeutic role would not be to everyone’s taste.  It’s just that I heard that accent in my head.   

Not everyone likes everything, so if you’ve been skimming and it hasn’t grabbed you yet, it probably won’t, but glad you gave it a try.   

Just a thought, IYO, do you think she'd make a good NPC?  Probably too self-centered, and you already have a bard in the works.

You handled the standard battle elements wonderfully. It is not easy to use Bioware fighting catchphrases in a story gracefully. Granted, (Regullus sighs jealously) you only had to work with a group of five instead of the normal six, but it can get very tiresome having to state what each party member is reacting to and doing in a fight. Beautifully and amusingly done.

This was the hardest part, I think.  Glad you think it worked!

Modified to Clarify: When I said Perdita, I meant Cyn. Any story, does not have to have Perdita in the tale, does not have to be a BG, any story you have written. 

I don't have anything else anywhere, but I'm working on it!  I have a mystery short story I'm trying to polish, and a manuscript that I've let languish too long.  If I get anything in print, you can count on it that I'll let you know!   

Ooh, very nice!  The quote fromr the head vampire as she appears is priceless. 

I knew that the head vampire had to be someone important, and that line popped in my head.  I hope the reasoning behind it will make sense.

I like your observations about the Bard Song.

Thanks to all for reading and commenting!

Cyn

[Bookwyrme]

Just a thought, IYO, do you think she'd make a good NPC?  Probably too self-centered, and you already have a bard in the works.

Not sure whose opinion your after here, but--yes.  She could be a lot of fun. No more self-centered than Edwin & a lot more light-hearted.  Could be esp. interesting if her shameless use of Charm could be coded in as well  

And, it'd be fun if she were another romance option for other NPC's--Anomen (natch )--but maybe also Valygar.  I can't see her doing much more than flirting with any of the others (IMHO, of course). 

[Perdita]

Not sure whose opinion your after here, but--yes.  She could be a lot of fun. No more self-centered than Edwin & a lot more light-hearted.  Could be esp. interesting if her shameless use of Charm could be coded in as well  

I like opinions!  Lots of them!   

And, it'd be fun if she were another romance option for other NPC's--Anomen (natch )--but maybe also Valygar.  I can't see her doing much more than flirting with any of the others (IMHO, of course). 

I don't know about romancing other NPC's, because I think that can get a little Mary Sue-ish, but now that you mention it, she could make Sarevok forget Tamoko, and since they wouldn't be related at all, she wouldn't have to worry about two-headed babies.    

[Bookwyrme]

And, it'd be fun if she were another romance option for other NPC's--Anomen (natch )--but maybe also Valygar.  I can't see her doing much more than flirting with any of the others (IMHO, of course). 

I don't know about romancing other NPC's, because I think that can get a little Mary Sue-ish, but now that you mention it, she could make Sarevok forget Tamoko, and since they wouldn't be related at all, she wouldn't have to worry about two-headed babies.    

Why would romancing other NPC's be Mary-Sue-ish? 

I think it adds some richness to the game when characters other than the PC have lives. 

I thought about Sarevok--it's tempting. But--how could someone as serious as he is be made to pay attention to someone as apparently flippant as Perdita?

[Perdita]

Why would romancing other NPC's be Mary-Sue-ish? 

I think it adds some richness to the game when characters other than the PC have lives. 

I’m not sure, that't just my first reaction, but I think it might be because it is not her story.  It is the PC’s story, and to try to romance Anomen out from under the PC, seems like trying to shove aside the protagonist and hog the plot for herself—which would of course be entirely in character for my bard.    It might work best if it wasn’t Anomen.  She likes Valygar, too.  I was going to give her an erotic dream of Sarevok and Valygar, but there was already so much going on.   

I thought about Sarevok--it's tempting. But--how could someone as serious as he is be made to pay attention to someone as apparently flippant as Perdita?

Hmm, I was only thinking about her crush on him.  He might very well think she is too shallow.  Since she wouldn’t be the Bhaalspawn, he wouldn’t have that attraction to her power, either.  Maybe she could just have an unrequited mad passion for him.   

[Bookwyrme]

Why would romancing other NPC's be Mary-Sue-ish? 

I think it adds some richness to the game when characters other than the PC have lives. 

I?m not sure, that't just my first reaction, but I think it might be because it is not her story.  It is the PC?s story, and to try to romance Anomen out from under the PC, seems like trying to shove aside the protagonist and hog the plot for herself?which would of course be entirely in character for my bard.    It might work best if it wasn?t Anomen. 

I'm partly stealing the idea from the Kelsey and Surayah mods.  If the PC wants to romance Kelsey, she can; if she doesn't, he & Imoen have a romance. From the Surayah description, the situation will be similar--if the PC is not wanting a romance with Anomen, then Surayah will have one. 

That way, the PC is still choosing, but there are more stories availabile.

I thought about Sarevok--it's tempting. But--how could someone as serious as he is be made to pay attention to someone as apparently flippant as Perdita?

Hmm, I was only thinking about her crush on him.  He might very well think she is too shallow.  Since she wouldn?t be the Bhaalspawn, he wouldn?t have that attraction to her power, either.  Maybe she could just have an unrequited mad passion for him.   

 Perdita as Viconia's rival?  That could be . . . interesting.

[Perdita]

I'm partly stealing the idea from the Kelsey and Surayah mods.  If the PC wants to romance Kelsey, she can; if she doesn't, he & Imoen have a romance. From the Surayah description, the situation will be similar--if the PC is not wanting a romance with Anomen, then Surayah will have one. 

Maybe it's just Anomen that isn't working for me.  Perdita and Anomen are a pretty unlikely couple anyway.  In my story, he loves her because she's the hero and he's supposed to, and she's the first real woman who's paid any attention to him who wasn't related to him, kind of like Siegfried and Brunhilde.  If Perdita weren't the Bhaalspawn, he probably wouldn't look twice at a self-absorbed CN bard.

Surayah and Anomen, huh?  Wild.  I'm going to have to check that out.

[Perdita]

I'm putting up the last chapter of this story, then there will be a short epilogue.  Let me know what you think?

 

[Bookwyrme]

I'm putting up the last chapter of this story, then there will be a short epilogue.  Let me know what you think?

 

Enjoyed it. It hardly seems "finished" what with Imoen and all.

Minor nit, maybe:

Sarevok knelt and picked her up, cradling her in his arms.  ?She is still your sister.  We should do something.?

Should that be "our" sister?

[Regullus]

 
   I admire the way that you made the reader (me anyway) want Peridita to kill Imoen, especially when she was holding Perdita's hands and jumping up and down in joy over the prospect of eternal sisterhood.  

  The disarming of Perdita was also funny. I tried to do the same in a story but with Mazzy, my plot, Mazzy discovers the pc is a Bhaalspawn and leaves the group, but being a good character she gives back all her equipment first. Needless to say, yours is much funnier. It is fun to see a well done example.

 Alignment change very good. Poor Bad Kitty.

 Lastly, thought the men's reaction to the Perdita/Immy clinch very amusing. It reminded me of a scene from "Undercover Brother."

 I have enjoyed this story very much. Hurry up with epilogue please.

[Kirwond]

Last chapter??? But, but what about Imoen?

(Edit: Just noticed you have an epilogue still to come. My bad.)

I've been enjoying the wrap up very much, even if I haven't been around to comment. Imoen is so damn cute, even as a bloodsucker!  The combat was a great deal of fun to read, and the guys' reaction to the Im/Perdita embrace was just hilarious. I'm going to miss Perdita very much as a character when this story is finished. She is just so much fun to read!

[Perdita]

Minor nit, maybe:

Sarevok knelt and picked her up, cradling her in his arms.  ?She is still your sister.  We should do something.?

Should that be "our" sister?

Good catch.  I'll fix it in the story.  The change adds a layer of resonance, don't you think?  Thanks.

The disarming of Perdita was also funny. I tried to do the same in a story but with Mazzy, my plot, Mazzy discovers the pc is a Bhaalspawn and leaves the group, but being a good character she gives back all her equipment first. Needless to say, yours is much funnier. It is fun to see a well done example.

Stolen right out of Mad Max : Beyond Thunderdome.   

Imoen is so damn cute, even as a bloodsucker!  The combat was a great deal of fun to read, and the guys' reaction to the Im/Perdita embrace was just hilarious. I'm going to miss Perdita very much as a character when this story is finished. She is just so much fun to read!

Your excellent Imoen characterization in Death and Taxes is the high-water mark.

I'll miss Perdita, too.     I have something else of a very different nature almost ready.

Thanks to all for reading and commenting!   

Cyn

[Perdita]

The epilogue is up.  I started some other things, and forgot I hadn't put it up yet.   

[St. Josephine]

Argh!

Perdita, I really enjoyed your story (even though I neglected to post how much I loved this line:

“Ooh, sis, I’ve waited so long!”  She took my hands in hers and jumped up and down.  “We can do so much stuff together!  We can hunt humans for blood, and fly as bats, and sleep in the same coffin, and…well, that’s about it.  But it will be so much fun!”

in your last installment.  BEST IMOEN FANFIC LINE EVAR!) but the epilogue was so frustrating!  I don't know how to put it but it lacked "oomph" for me.  Perdita seemed a little flat; she wasn't her usual sparkling self (well, except for the hell line; that was good).

Still, I'll miss that crazy bard.  She was just so much fun!