Author Topic: Cherche le Homme  (Read 1767 times)


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Cherche le Homme
« on: April 21, 2004, 07:29:58 PM »
'Tis very old story, but I still like it, and it does have Kelsey...somewhat  ;)

All women are fools, all men are bastards...

-A foreign saying

Not all women are fools, but all men are bastards

-Later version of the foreign saying above

All women are fool, but not all men are bastards

-Equality rights version of the later version of the foreign saying above....

**********************CHERCHE LE HOMME********************************

I was down to one man.

Body count was five.

Wait, Drizzt looks somewhat alive. Judging from what I have heard of him, he'd survive even if his abdomen is ripped by vampire's claws and his blood is pooling around him knee-deep. What is he trying to hiss out? "Friend?" If he is hissing, then he is alive, I say.

Body count is four.

The smart ass of the poet is smoldering on the floor by my feet. I touch Solaufein’s body lightly with the toe of my boot. Not so fast anymore, Drow? By Sylvanus beard, I have never been so mad before...

Shy as a kid, sweet and tormented the man was. Mysterious and handsome, like a night of Midsummer Festival. I saved him from his crazed lover Phaere... I wanted him for myself. Yes, I did! But, apparently, drow males appeal to a variety of tastes. Bodhi wanted him too. She took my poor lamb. I fought as if it was my first fight, as if I indeed had lost something dear to me. I thought I did.

Fool! All women are fools. It is a sobering experience to see the warm body you wished to touch turned into dead flesh. Dead flesh willing to kill you and being proud of his ability to kill you.

Men! All men are bastards. Take that martyr from Ust-Natha. Said he likes me... I played my custom gaping and staring, while planning the campaign against Irenicus, trick on him. And that little bit of encouragement led the drow to renounce his beloved goddess and moi for good measure! All that he had accomplished during a short hour, it took me to fight my way through to him! He was drunk of his own power, when we finally came face to face. Men!

Those, on the floor...

Viconia - female by decor, brutal male to my uneducated surfacer's eye. But since she will not accept that as a compliment, even if she would grace me with an effort to understand my point of view on male-female relationships, she... I have no clue what she is. Whatever, we'd part in few hours anyway.

Jan. At least I have half an hour without a turnip story about a trice- removed relative of yours. Nay, Jan, when I look at you I stop hating males. I start hating turnips. I promise, you will be raised, Jan. Just as you have asked me before being silenced by the vampire's hit forever... or for half an hour. Which is the same in your books.

Valygar... I am sorry, Valygar. I am so sorry! I saw you, I was coming to your help, but the circle of enemies around you was too tight. And the nets, which the undead drow conjured, held me in their grip. I would never forget the smile you gave me before plunging down, taking yet another one of the beasts with you. I will never tell you, that I was conscious enough to see that smile. Or that I smiled back. How dared you to die on me? You are such a bastard, ranger!

O, Sylvanus, what have they done to you, Sorcerer? Could it be, that I kissed those cold lips last night? Never part with your loved ones... Or you might not recognize them. What have I done to you? May be I am just like Viconia, a man with full breasts and legs and everything? May be I am a bastard? As soon as you are back to your health, you are out, Kelsey. Go, find your brother, open your shop selling small things, do whatever... Bhaal’s daughter releases you!

What is it, Anomen? Yes, I have seen that you have conjured the pit fiend and that kept both you and me alive. Yes, I am watching your last strike at the evil beast. Wonderful. It would have been unsummoned in a nick of time anyway. However, it was a good sport, wounded and exhausted. You are as strong as Crom Fire hammer makes you to be. You have a question? A grin, no, THE grin spreads over his face and he asks: "My Lady, should I raise your present lover, or the lover to be? Or...we are alone here, My Lady... And I did save you... Care for a companionship of the past lover?"

I laugh. Men are bastards.

"Raise Valygar." I say hoarsely. "And take a stroll after that.”

“A *very long* stroll.”


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