I wrote this. I hope it amuses you, Kulyok.
"Life is not worth living," said Xan, morose enchanter,
As his ears began to tremble, and he stared into his decanter.
The tears began to leak, and one slid off his chin,
"It matters not how hard we fight, we cannot hope to win."
CHARNAME stares in wonder. "Kulyok is very wise,
"And she said to get him drunk to find a good surprise.
"But this is normal Xan, except a trifle sadder,
"And, as per usual, nothing is the matter."
Poor CHARNAME. She is pretty. Just, not quite enough...
Adventure leaves you grimy, like a diamond in the rough.
A certain ring might have helped, but she'd had dire need of gold
To find her little sister, and so it had been sold.
Xan slumps forward, sleeping. His chin now shines with drool.
CHARNAME calls Jaheira over, and they drag him to his room.
She is disappointed, but disappointment is the rule
As Xan would say. Disappointment, a sexless relationship, and doom.