It's about noon where I work.
If you are an elf, and no hugging going on - I think you might have a friendship path indeed. Just to be sure - do you have these when you click on him?
(Xan turns to you, frowning.)
1. How are you?
2. Fancy a drink?
3. Do you trust me?
If so, you must have chosen either "I've never met this person before" or "We were just friends in BG1"-like option when you first met. Never fear, you still get plenty of dialogue(the same amount as any of the romance paths, or perhaps more), and as for the romance, wait until ToB, and if you still want to, you'll have your chance to ask him.
Again, it's not screwing up, it is choosing a different path - and I do not think it is a wrong one. Um, that is, I rather like it.
But! If you're having these when you click on him, you're indeed following the non-bonded path all right:
(Xan gives you a furtive glance out of the corner of his eye.)
1. (Hug Xan)
2. (Grin at Xan)
3. (Pout at Xan)
And if you're having these, choose "May I talk to you?" option and try to set things right again:
(Xan walks beside you, his gaze fixed on his feet.)
1. You have been rather silent as of late. Are you ignoring me?