Author Topic: The Mud Puddle  (Read 2247 times)

treaderdawn

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The Mud Puddle
« on: September 15, 2006, 11:53:25 PM »
The Mud Puddle
A Slice Of Life



My least-favorite character hit the mud puddle with a satisfying squish.

"Drat and double-drat! Look at me! I'm covered in mud!" said my least-favorite character with a petulant kick at the mud. The whole party gathered around to see the spectacle, because they pretty much agreed that if anybody deserved to trip in that mud puddle which had been menacing us since their arrival in Imnesvale, it would be my least-favorite character.

This wasn't ordinary mud, either. No, no. This was genuine Umar Chicken mud. Unredeemed by time or tide, it was more muck than mud. And it was more on than off of my least-favorite character, who looked quite helpless in the smelly goo.

"Here's mud in your eye!" said my favorite funny character, kicking another glob of the gunk on my least favorite character's clothes with a twinkling eye.

My least-favorite character lashed out angrily, but of course there was no one to blame. They simply weren't watching where they were going—as usual. Too fixated on their own problems, too convinced that the world revolved around them. "How am I going to get out of this mud? It's so slimy and so clingy and… ugh… so stinky!"

My favorite brutal character swung a deadly-looking weapon with purpose. "Put a cork in it before I put a cork in you! That mud will be the least of your worries when I've finished with you!" It was generally understood that my favorite brutal character could easily kill my least-favorite character at any moment, and that nobody would particularly mind, but the tension between them was amusing since my least-favorite character always got the worst of it.

"Come on! Somebody! Please! Help me out of the mud, won't you?" My least-favorite character was whining, something which was pretty common. My least-favorite character was certainly good at that.

The situation was getting ridiculous and tempers were wearing thin—thinner than they normally were when my least-favorite character was on the scene, even. "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that I am saying something—you look a hell of a lot better than you ever have before, so why don't you just shut up and enjoy that mud?" said my self-insertion alter ego, with casual, offhand glibness.

"Well said," said my favorite stoic character. As usual, everyone knew that they were saying more than was truly said aloud.

And as usual, my least-favorite character was a complete ass, alone and stinky, in the mud.

 

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