Recently, I decided to give Amber (new NPC) a try. My boyfriend and I sometimes play in multiplayer mode on 2 computers simultaneously, with his female fighter/mage as Player 1 and my male Undead Hunter as Player 2. As you know, the closest thing Player 2 gets to game content in an unmodified BioWare game is the appelation "Follower of <CHARNAME>" on a statue in Trademeet. The Amber mod rectifies this. But Amber is incompatible with the multiple romance option of Ease of Use. So, I uninstalled that component, downloaded and installed Amber, and then did so in the reverse order on my boyfriend's computer.
That messed up the dialog.tlk file for multiplayer purposes, so I wound up having to do a clean install on both machines anyway, paying attention to installation order, this time.
Since I had no intention of installing the multiple-romance component this time, there was no need to install the "Ignore Race/Gender" option of Ease of Use, which I believe is the culprit.
It will be interesting to see if Anomen's quest now starts in a game with a male pc.
In a game with a female pc, I've just been letting the romance move along until after Anomen makes his decision. Then, if I feel like terminating it, I do so.