Comments on "Danse Macabre"

[Grim Squeaker]

I'm not entirely sure why I wrote this piece of fanfic.  It's one of those things that I was pretty sure I'd never do but then I got an idea and my mind began to wander.  So feel free to post what you thought of my first and probably only attempt at BG2 fanfic.

Oh and yes I know some events aren't entirely canon, but it works for the story

Edit: Also, I know that Seifer posted a piece of fanfic with the same name.  Meh.

[Eral]

This is very good, very powerful, very sad. Great work.

I would like you know I am now completely depressed. Again.

[Bex]

I'm a little teared up now. Maybe it's the angsty shoegazer in me.

Seems to me that battling hordes of vampires probably would be more akin to what you've written than how it plays out in the game. Perish the thought.

[Roland]

Good stuff, Grim.  The consequence of using the flute was well-played.

[Bons]

It's safe to say that, if I was given a poll (pleasenodon't) choosing between the importance of snappy dialogue and strong narrative, I would always vote for dialogue. Stories like this prove that I am a biased nincompoop who is really only a dialogue supporter because I've haven't written a good bit of narrative since 2001.

Keeping to narrative was an excellent decision. We know LT dialogue by heart. What we don't know is the in between, and the descriptions here work to develop the story and romance in a stronger, more enveloping way than quoting game dialogue for nth time.

That day was month's ago and somehow she had moved on.

No apostrophe in "months."  That's the one edit I'm desperate for.

The dock fight was great, as Bex said, a realistic approach in describing a fight with vampires, and I appreciated the scene of ground-bursting horror in Ch. 10. The identity of the corpse wasn't a surprise once you set up the flute, but the bonus points come from having some actual macabre in the story and no romanticized villains or monsters.

Jaheira's suicide. Well. I want to squeal and protest the hanging, yet with a critical eye, I can see exactly why it works in parallel to the prologue, and I am a sucker for structures like that.

Good job, Mr. Squeaker. 

[Grim Squeaker]

Your comments are much appreciated.  I shall fix that typo ASAP as I hate apostrophe cockups as well

Edit: Right, fixed.  Oh and you get bonus points for using the word nincompoop.

[Riviera]

This is very good, very powerful, very sad. Great work.

I would like you know I am now completely depressed. Again.

I have to second this.. I've always wondered about how Jaheira felt, what kinds of things she thought, after Khalid's death. It's nice to see some of it given voice.

She is a very good character. Thanks for writing this.