Author Topic: Stoned  (Read 42292 times)

Offline clock sendak

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #325 on: February 18, 2006, 10:43:06 PM »
fyi: it doesn't only happen in the morning.  sometimes you get that still kinda-hard hard after afternoon sex and you gotta go piss at an angle best left to people with muscular deformities.  heh.

Hey yo, I know this dude right.
Carl, he wore tight blue sweats, but wasn't glued too tight.  all he had upstairs was a crude light
you think that's weird, he lived next door to a food fight.

Offline fcm

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #326 on: February 18, 2006, 11:19:28 PM »
Heh, my 7th grade science teacher said that it was impossible to pee with an erection.

That's what my sex-ed teacher told us, too. But he was an idiot and I hated him. Anyway, that's what he told us.

Hahaha to him. He didn't even really know where a hymen was or what it looked like. He'd always diagram it down way to far. I mean way to far.
Imbriglicated!

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #327 on: February 18, 2006, 11:34:15 PM »
Hahahahaha.

Offline Bex

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #328 on: February 19, 2006, 03:31:04 PM »
Heh, my 7th grade science teacher said that it was impossible to pee with an erection.

That's what my sex-ed teacher told us, too. But he was an idiot and I hated him. Anyway, that's what he told us.

Yeah, I picked that up from somewhere as well, and was later corrected.

I think it's a mis-translation of the reassurance that no, the man does not pee inside the woman because it's impossible to urinate while ejaculating.
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Offline Eral

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #329 on: February 19, 2006, 05:06:40 PM »
You know, I'm now really grateful for the innocence/ignorance of my childhood and adolescence (and if I'm being honest) my early adulthood. Because it never once occured to me that this might be an issue. Imagine, this was such a common fear that it was included in sex ed. Perhaps they were trying to make sex sound as if it was really no fun at all.
If you see anything mysterious or unusual, just enjoy it while you can.  - Michael Leunig.

Offline Jon

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #330 on: February 19, 2006, 05:18:44 PM »
My friends, it's not completely false that it's impossible to pee with an erection. You see, when the penis becomes engored with blood, a little 'valve' closes over [something*], preventing urine from passing into the urethra so it doesn't interfere with the flowing of semen. This is why when you have a light erection it's very, very difficult to pee, but not quite impossible. The harder you are, the harder it is.

Hah! Learned that in health class last semester.

*I don't know exactly what gets closed off. I don't think it's the bladder. Maybe something connecting the bladder to the urethra? Oh well. The point is that you need to be before you get aroused.
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Offline Drew

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #331 on: February 19, 2006, 05:29:07 PM »
I'll add that it's actually quite painfull to pee when you are really, really aroused.  Some wussy men might just assume that it's impossible because of the pain and think about their mothers for a minute or two (the fastest way in the world to kill an erection, unless you are Oedipus) before attempting the feat, but it can be done.  It just really, really hurts. :)
Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cybersquirt

Offline Jon

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #332 on: February 19, 2006, 05:46:53 PM »
Quote
think about their mothers for a minute or two (the fastest way in the world to kill an erection
Haha! It's true! :D

Sort of like the best way to 'sober up' is to think of police officers knocking on your bedroom door.

Of course I'm aware that it won't actually sober you up, which is why I stuck some quotes around it. But it clears your head completely, and, basically, makes you become 'sober' enough to talk/walk your way out of a perilous situation. Lord knows it saved my booty back in the day.

Memories :)
"Puppies do not cause cancer.  Puppies are more fun than weed.
I suggest everyone buy a puppy."

So sayeth the wise Icelus.

Offline Veloxyll

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #333 on: February 19, 2006, 10:57:50 PM »
That's not always true, sometimes your body will happily let it go when you're hard enough to shatter diamonds. The curious thing I've found is it usually kills an erection regaurdless of how hard you were when you started peeing
Shiny things, shiny things, shiny shiny shiny things!

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #334 on: February 20, 2006, 02:00:40 AM »
I am ALWAYS hard enough to shatter diamonds in those sitations.

Offline Alarielle

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #335 on: February 20, 2006, 02:57:12 AM »
 :'(
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Offline Eral

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #336 on: February 20, 2006, 04:04:24 AM »
Just talk about tea vs hot chocolate, Alarielle. It will greatly ease your pain.
If you see anything mysterious or unusual, just enjoy it while you can.  - Michael Leunig.

Offline Drew

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #337 on: February 20, 2006, 07:15:25 AM »
When a man brags about his erection it's usually a phsycological defense mechanism due to his being, uh, poorly endowed.  This is just a cry for help.  Joe needs the ladies to reassure him that it isn't the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean that counts.  Yes, yes, we all know it isn't true, but this poor man's mental stability is at stake, here.  Take pity on him and lie, ladies.  Please.  There's no telling what Joe might do if his call for help goes unanswered.
Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cybersquirt

Offline Dark Raven

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #338 on: February 20, 2006, 07:42:25 AM »
 :-X
Per me si va nella citta dolente.
Per me si va nell eterno dolore.
Per me si va tra la perduta gente...
Lasciate ogni speranza perduta che'entrate!

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Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #339 on: February 20, 2006, 11:55:16 AM »
When a man brags about his erection it's usually a phsycological defense mechanism due to his being, uh, poorly endowed.  This is just a cry for help.  Joe needs the ladies to reassure him that it isn't the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean that counts.  Yes, yes, we all know it isn't true, but this poor man's mental stability is at stake, here.  Take pity on him and lie, ladies.  Please.  There's no telling what Joe might do if his call for help goes unanswered.

Even though you are joking, I want to make it clear that I have not claimed to have a large penis. As a male you know that hardness does does not equal length.

I just wanted to get it across that I don't have to be semi-hard in order to piss with an erection. Most of the time I am harder than George Bush's head and still able to piss.

Offline fcm

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #340 on: February 20, 2006, 02:01:52 PM »
For shame!
Imbriglicated!

Offline Drew

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #341 on: February 20, 2006, 03:23:55 PM »
I don't know......I'd say telling everyone you have a diamond cutting hammer in your pants may well qualify as a form of bragging about the endowment.  You're right, though.......you didn't say you were long,and therefore my use of a size metaphor was inappropriate.  I should have used an insult along the lines of "stiff as a 3 week ripe bananna" or "hard as an ex-presidential candidate that likes pepsi" or something.  My bad. ;)
Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cybersquirt

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #342 on: February 20, 2006, 03:36:15 PM »
 8)

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #343 on: February 27, 2006, 12:04:47 AM »
Well, seeing what a fasinating conversation we're all having here, I thought I'd put in my $.02.
Porn is like candy. It's fun easy to use. It draws you in against your will when put in commercials (just like sweet foods are hard to resist). It may be nice as an appetizer, or between meals, but overuse can cause permanent damage, especially when not brushed over (expunged from History). Overuse in and of itself is bad too, degrading standards of what satisfies one's needs.

No wait... porn is healthy and natural. It's like Newsweek. If you want the real stuff, it may take some effort to find the ultimate truth, and for those not mature enough to handle it, that may not be possible. In an average day, Newsweek is acceptable.

Offline Rika

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #344 on: September 23, 2008, 12:18:01 PM »
I feel quite small..

(bump)
So if the devil wants to dance with you, you'd better say never cuz the dance with the devil might last you forever

Offline Marauder

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #345 on: September 24, 2008, 01:01:38 PM »
I feel quite large.


Ba-dum-tish.
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Offline Rika

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #346 on: September 25, 2008, 10:13:54 AM »
So that's why those large, shiny bullets are there.
So if the devil wants to dance with you, you'd better say never cuz the dance with the devil might last you forever

Offline Marauder

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #347 on: September 25, 2008, 01:58:53 PM »
That's just me compensating - the above was a joke.


The above was a joke.
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