Author Topic: Stoned  (Read 43739 times)

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #300 on: February 15, 2006, 11:26:01 PM »
Yeah, poor Drew has to pick his shit up off the floor any time he unzips. very unweildy.

Offline Drew

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #301 on: February 15, 2006, 11:35:31 PM »
Nothing of the sort.  I'm hung like a fruit fly. ;)
Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cybersquirt

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #302 on: February 16, 2006, 12:34:28 AM »
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Offline Veloxyll

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #303 on: February 16, 2006, 08:01:27 AM »
Quote
Jon: It is my experience that many men dribble a little. Some even have a split stream thing going on, which is difficult for them to control. I think these issues are less evident when using urinals though.

I always thought the split stream only occured during specific moments, and not a very wide, uh, span. But if it becomes a problem I guess you'd be right abouting either sitting down or going in a urinal.

Quote
The fact that masculinity needs to be asserted at all by standing up to wee is a cause of concern in itself.

It's not that we feel the need to flaunt our masculinity, it just saves us a good thirty seconds of sit-down time :)


And when you have a penis, you automatically gain a couple inches distance away from your pants and toward your target, making for a long, clean shot.

30 seconds? The hell? Do you wear a dress or something? It takes me a whole 10 seconds more to sit down,20 if you count walking to a crapper in a public loo as well.
Shiny things, shiny things, shiny shiny shiny things!

Offline clock sendak

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #304 on: February 16, 2006, 09:53:17 AM »
so it started out with drugs and now we're at peeing (which has to be the most unmanly way to refer to it, and should only be used by men involved in serious committed relationships).  You guys are crazy (that sentence should be pronounced like the taco bell chihuahua. actually it's kind of nice when everything...)

anyway, i pee standing up, sometimes there's a little splash, but you're gonna clean the floor once a week anyway so why not enjoy this more or less harmless masculine moment.  I find the biggest problem is afterwards

"no matter how much you jiggle and dance, the last few drops go down your pants"

(sorry, don't mean to bring up personal social stigma, haha)

but really, if you're given a choice, go slash outside, even if you're not camping.  It's a great way to take a moment, inhale the air around you, contemplate your role in the cosmos...

whatever, I'm gonna go get stoned
Hey yo, I know this dude right.
Carl, he wore tight blue sweats, but wasn't glued too tight.  all he had upstairs was a crude light
you think that's weird, he lived next door to a food fight.

Offline Da_venom

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #305 on: February 16, 2006, 01:29:19 PM »
that's the way lad :D

anyway you never use toilet paper to get rid of the last few drops?

so your telling us that your pants always has yellow stains in it? :-X
yagh

Offline Cybersquirt

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #306 on: February 16, 2006, 02:39:16 PM »
me thinks toilet paper would ruin the "masculine moment", no?  :P
Stupid is as stupid does.

Offline Jon

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #307 on: February 16, 2006, 05:10:10 PM »
Ugh. I agree.
Toilet paper.. Honestly ::)

Sendak- Very nice thoughts :) I agree, though if you rapidly hop up once or twice, it should get the job done.
Though that may not be very acceptable in a public bathroom. Where there's a hope, there's a way.

Edit to take out something silly (I mean, more silly than would be tolerated on this forum).
« Last Edit: February 16, 2006, 05:12:36 PM by Jon »
"Puppies do not cause cancer.  Puppies are more fun than weed.
I suggest everyone buy a puppy."

So sayeth the wise Icelus.

Offline Dark Raven

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #308 on: February 16, 2006, 06:39:53 PM »
Nothing of the sort. I'm hung like a fruit fly. ;)
Ladies man, no?
Per me si va nella citta dolente.
Per me si va nell eterno dolore.
Per me si va tra la perduta gente...
Lasciate ogni speranza perduta che'entrate!

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Offline Da_venom

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #309 on: February 17, 2006, 01:52:46 PM »
haha blood raven :P

he just talk's about his friend(the penis) it's not his gender...
but his friend :P
he talks to him so it wil pep up a bit :P

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #310 on: February 17, 2006, 02:51:53 PM »
I don't know what all this talk of dribbling is about. I only ever do that once in a while and only during a certain uncomfortable circumstance which i will not specifically identify at the risk of giving too much information. And even then I whipe the floor.

Offline Jon

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #311 on: February 17, 2006, 05:17:06 PM »
I don't know what all this talk of dribbling is about. I only ever do that once in a while and only during a certain uncomfortable circumstance which i will not specifically identify at the risk of giving too much information. And even then I whipe the floor.

That's a right good deed, there. But you know what's really a pain? Wiping that little spot behind the seat. It's hard to describe so you women may not know what I mean, but the guys probably do.

Please note that it's not as if I ever need to wipe that spot because of my own little slips. But we were all little kids once who wanted to see how far we could go and all that...
"Puppies do not cause cancer.  Puppies are more fun than weed.
I suggest everyone buy a puppy."

So sayeth the wise Icelus.

Offline clock sendak

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #312 on: February 18, 2006, 01:46:10 PM »
so your telling us that your pants always has yellow stains in it?


nah, i tape one of those ultraslim maxi pads between my underwear and my pants - the urine soak doesn't get past my undies and the maxi pad give a nice ripple to my package.
Hey yo, I know this dude right.
Carl, he wore tight blue sweats, but wasn't glued too tight.  all he had upstairs was a crude light
you think that's weird, he lived next door to a food fight.

Offline Jon

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #313 on: February 18, 2006, 02:46:30 PM »
Haha! Now there's an idea 8)
"Puppies do not cause cancer.  Puppies are more fun than weed.
I suggest everyone buy a puppy."

So sayeth the wise Icelus.

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #314 on: February 18, 2006, 02:54:39 PM »
Do any of you guys know what uncomfortable circumstance I am talking about?

Offline Drew

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #315 on: February 18, 2006, 03:39:15 PM »
Either when you are unconcious or jerking off, I imagine.
Poor baby. Couldn't find a fight anywhere else so you had to come here, huh. -Cybersquirt

Offline Eral

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #316 on: February 18, 2006, 03:43:14 PM »
Drunk. Happens to my dad all the time.
If you see anything mysterious or unusual, just enjoy it while you can.  - Michael Leunig.

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #317 on: February 18, 2006, 04:05:31 PM »
No it's not any of those.

Offline Dark Raven

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #318 on: February 18, 2006, 06:16:40 PM »
Flying high
Per me si va nella citta dolente.
Per me si va nell eterno dolore.
Per me si va tra la perduta gente...
Lasciate ogni speranza perduta che'entrate!

Chosen of Mystra home to many mods.

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #319 on: February 18, 2006, 07:13:17 PM »
I was referring to trying to piss with an erection. This usually happens in the morning. I have to bend my whole body forward.

Offline Dark Raven

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #320 on: February 18, 2006, 07:19:56 PM »
Some things are best left unsaid.
Per me si va nella citta dolente.
Per me si va nell eterno dolore.
Per me si va tra la perduta gente...
Lasciate ogni speranza perduta che'entrate!

Chosen of Mystra home to many mods.

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #321 on: February 18, 2006, 07:23:03 PM »
You speak truly. But I was hoping my fellow males would be able to sympathize. Apparently they cannot. :(

Offline Dark Raven

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #322 on: February 18, 2006, 07:29:01 PM »
They're speechless.
Per me si va nella citta dolente.
Per me si va nell eterno dolore.
Per me si va tra la perduta gente...
Lasciate ogni speranza perduta che'entrate!

Chosen of Mystra home to many mods.

Offline fcm

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #323 on: February 18, 2006, 07:31:09 PM »
That was totally in the 40 Year Old Virgin. I had some serious questions to ask my boyfriend about that, because up until I saw that, I thought it was physically impossible to piss with an erection.

I think our entire conversation consideted of "No fucking way!" "YES!" "Nuh-uh!" "YES!" "Shutup!" "You can!" "NO!" etc etc. I was deeply disturbed by my ignorance on this mater.
Imbriglicated!

Offline Joe

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Re: Stoned
« Reply #324 on: February 18, 2006, 07:51:00 PM »
Heh, my 7th grade science teacher said that it was impossible to pee with an erection. I was very much confused by that foolish assertion.