Impersonate Ding0 "Day" is now over. Some observers may have noticed that I added questions after people had posted their answers. If you object to this because it is unfair or illogical, Impersonate Kish Day is coming next week.
Having discovered that I couldn't say anything terribly witty in response to any of the posted answers, I'll skip straight to the model answers.
Q: You are on a school trip, staying in a hotel in Paris. You seek to unite the groups of students scattered throughout the hotel at a party in a single room. However, teachers are patrolling the corridors vigilantly. How do you transport the alcohol between rooms?
A: Run across the hotel roof, with as many bottles as you can carry, in pants and a cowboy hat. Until people on other floors start taking photographs.
Q: You are at Disneyland with several others, and having been there for several hours, you are losing interest in the available activities. However, you've got to make it through the whole day. A bus service is available to a number of hotels from the park entrance. How do you while away the time?
A: Search for hotel bars, and upon finding that none are open, settle for a posh restaurant instead. Drink, because the age is 16 in France. You play a game where you subtly add "NO PUBES!" at the end of anything you say to the staff, but it is cut short when you discover they're actually American.
Q: You have organized a last-minute camping trip in the middle of winter. It is freezing, pouring with rain, and too dark to read the instructions for setting up your tent. You do not have long before you must meet some people who have thus far been having a far better time than you, and yet no structure has been erected at the campsite. How do you put up the tent?
A: Stick the tallest pole into the ground and drape the canvas over it. Tie part of it to a tree to form a rudimentary entrance. It falls down during the night while two of your friends are sharing a romantic moment.
Q: You have been invited to a fancy dress party at short notice, and after determining that you have insufficient face paint to go as Snoop Dogg, you find yourself stuck for a costume. At the last minute, a girl phones you to inform you that she too has nothing to go as. How do you resolve the difficulty?
A: You go as popular European pop artist
Gunther with the girl as one of your
sunshine girls.
Q: You have heard rumours of a party going on, but have not been formally invited. You have also heard that the organizers have been unable to procure a DJ to provide music for the evening. You have an iPod. How do you arrange your admission to the event?5)
A: Claim to be a leading local DJ and connect your iPod up to some portable speakers. Your track transitions are slick crossfades. The music of choice is Aqua.
Q: You release a Quest-oriented mod, but to your horror it turns out to suck. How do you spend a year pretending you are improving it?
A: Masturbate.
Q: You are offering your usual complex and insightful criticism to a modmaker, but they are not seeing your side of the arguments, and the possibility of effecting change is looking ever more distant. How do you respond to the situation?
A: Batter them down until they beg you to leave, at which point you accuse them of evading the issue. If they persist, challenge them to a rap battle. You end up banned either way.
Q: You have started an inane game thread on a forum and nobody has responded because it's just THAT terrible. How do you determine when is a suitable time to admit defeat and close the competition?
A: Random.
And the winner is...
DevSing0, because I copied one of the answers from his post!
Thank you all who participated. You'd all make excellent Ding0s.
Incidentally, the original Mang0 post that's been mentioned was
here. An honourable mention goes to the associated impression, which originally appeared on the Flirt Packs forum, but now prepare to be trolled for the rest of your life.
