Author Topic: A letter from Yoshimo (something I dug up that was worth preserving IMO)  (Read 1186 times)

Offline Caedwyr

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Just so everyone knows, this wasn't written by me.  Its just something I've dug up from another site that is probably soon to disappear, and I thought there were some interesting points about this piece that the author brings up that were worth preserving.  Enjoy, and if you really feel like it, discuss.

The author is Mikka.


*****

Original author's comments

*sigh*
I am _SO_ unhappy with this thing. It sounds nothing like the character who it's written by, it's terribly corny, and it's totally nonsensible. The only reason I can see someone liking it is if they're rabid fans of one of the two characters mentioned and are so desperate for stuff about them that they're willing to even think of this as good despite it's suckiness. And if so, I give them many hugs and glomps, but I think they're making a big mistake here.

Alright, I'm exagerating slightly... things at the end of the actual letter explain a bit more about why I wrote it like this, which might help some people understand it a bit better.


*******

Tomoko-

Would you have approved, in the end? I was so certain that you would have, but right now, I canít be to sure. I donít doubt often, as you know; you scolded me on that more then once, when we were young. And I laughed, still an arrogant child, and told you that I didnít need to doubt- because I was never wrong, and I always succeeded. And that was true. Iíve never failed a mission. I certainly havenít now.

I keep asking myself why I did this, why Iíve adopted such foolishness. We were never really that close. You were my elder sister- an honored, refined bushi who was beloved by the family elders and the other clans. I, however, was a thief- not having enough honor to be a ninja, even- a fool who courted favor with the Konishi at the shrine to Chirasu, even while sharing their secrets to the Uji in Gifu. I was a shame to the family then, and even okasama would have been glad to get rid of me when the Konishi found out my doings; but you stepped in, then. You abandoned all you had, and we ran- through the barbarian hoards, through the streets full of strange-eyed gaijin with their thick accents, through the unsympathetic flocks who followed a pantheon of fools.

But never once did you stop. Never once did you turn back. I gladly would have accepted the fate, and let myself serve as a warning to all the others who strove to deceive the masters at deceiving- but you would not let your brother die. Because to you, it was a duty, and one you embraced. You didnít like me any more then I liked you; but you could not stand to let me die because of my own stupidity. And I envied you for your resolve, and hated you for your conviction- but I traveled side by side with you to Amn, where you looked at me, and told me to stay out of trouble. Then, you left.

It was not hard for me to set myself up in Amn. Thieves are useful, and jobs came easy. I managed to avoid the notice of the Shadow Thieves- not hard, considering how hopelessly inept they are- and I lived a life as fine as the one we had lived at home. The element of danger was gone- for the law establishment in the land is ran by fools, and they never once got a glance at me- but I was content in pulling my riches and fleecing items. I barely thought of home, or of youÖ

And then you died.

How foolish of you, oneesan. The rumors were hard to follow, and the people elusive- but the information came, in the end. You followed a man, a would be god (the child of one, if the commoners were to be believed), and he failed in his delusion. He was killed by his sister, and you fell in his service- just another pawn of fate, an honor-bound bushi who tried to live right, but failed. Some said you were his lover, others said you were his slave- and some said you were both, and yet neither.

It didnít matter. You were dead. My honored elder sister, a skilled bushi and beautiful woman- you were dead, and I was not. Perhaps it was ironic, in a way, that someone like me could survive when someone like you could not. Or perhaps it just simply shows how life is- that it rewards the liars and the cheats, and that it kills the steadfast and the determined. Does it really matter?

No, it doesnít. Nothing did. I haunted the city of Baldurís Gate like a ghost, determined that it must all be a lie and that you must be fine, somewhere with the man who you followed. I think I knew that I was hunting lost dreams then- I made vow after vow to myself, promising that I would reconcile with you, that I would devote myself to your way of living, that I would become a brother that you could be proud of. I might have even kept those vows, if I had seen you again. The chances are slim, but there.

It was Bodhi who found me first. She was then as she is now- pale and beautiful, seductive and domineering. She offered me the revenge I craved, she took me to meet her brother- and she stood by me when we watched Irenicusís workers kidnap your killer and her friends. I owe her for that, I supposeÖ I am in her debt, and you would certainly have had me repay such a thing. But there will be no chance.

Is it honorable to betray someone, oneesan? What if you do it for an honorable reason? I know the code of the bushi as well as anyone; your spirit will not rest until your killer has met their end, and you will not find peace until you are in your homelands. I donít think I can help you with the second, but perhaps, now, I can help you with the first. For there is nothing else I can do.

Perhaps the man you followed loved you, and you can take comfort in that. I cannot. Irenicus and Bodhi have used me as a pawn, and they will do so now. I have been told I will fight your murderer and her friends; I have no other choice in the matter. Perhaps if I turned and ran now, I could escape- I could flee from Chara, flee from Irenicus, and flee from my mission here. But I will not- because as you were honor-bound to save me from my execution, I am honor-bound to avenge your murder.

I will die, a victim of the foolishness of honor and promises, just like you did. Like sister, like brother. Gold, riches, and silks- they mean nothing to me anymore. I just need to avenge you; then perhaps this will all be over.

If I live, oneesama, I will release you from your trapped state. But I do not see how I can defeat five- or even more!- on my own. No, it is more likely that I will die, and when I do, I will share your fate. I will not meet the ancestors of our people, and I will not become one myself. Such a destiny would be worthless to me, who couldnít even allow that fate for you.

I do not have much longer. Chara will wake soon, her soul gone. A vile experiment; Iím sure my place in the karmic cycle has fallen quite a bit for allowing it. But if it will help to avenge your death, then itís worth it. I will not be a burden to you anymore; even after your death, thatís all I have been. Trying to make up for the mistakes I have wrought- forcing on a mask and living falsely, hanging on to your ideals. So many abstract concepts, is what I have done right? Wrong? Would you have wanted this of me, or would you have told me to live on the way I always had, leaving duty and honor as a whimsical philosophy only donned by the foolish?

Iíll never know now, I suppose.
Farewell, Tomoko.

~ Y.

******


///
Few.
First, translations.
+ Bushi -- Bushi can mean two things, and I used it to mean both, in a way. Bushi can simply mean 'fighter' (IE, if we were playing D&D in Japan, the fighter class would be the 'Bushi' class), but it is also 'short' for the 'ethnical code' traditional Japanese warriors followed. Samurai did, as well (Samurai are (well, were) the highest 'caste' of bushi (fighters)). The code of bushi(do) is generally to have gi, yu, jin, rei, makoto, meiyo, and chugi- or rectitude, courage, benevolence, respect, honesty, honor, and loyalty. I think Tomoko fits such a code, don't you?
+ Ninja -- Ninja is, in this case, someone who pratices 'ninjutsu' (or 'ninpo'). Although in real life the Ninjas and Samurais had nothing to do with each other, Kara-Tur has them buddy buddy. Ninja's are like, honorable thieves, assasins, and spys in Kara-Tur. Sort of.
+ Konishi -- Secret group of Ninja's in Kara-Tur.
+ Chirasu -- A dark god(dess?) followed by the Konishi, and few others.
+ Uji -- Another secret group of Ninja's in Kara-Tur.
+ Gifu -- It's a city, I think. Been a while since I wrote that part. ^^;
+ Okasama -- 'Much Honored Mother'. Could use an extra a in there- the a should have a line over it.
+ Oneesan -- 'Respected Elder Sister'. Common usage.
+ Hunting lost dreams -- A translated version of an idiom; searching for something that you know you'll never find.
+ Chara -- The name I use for CHARNAME when she or he doesn't need to be overly defined (is a back figure) in stories. In my mind, she's a smelly not overly pretty or bright warrior who wears plate and clanks wherever she walks. Ptah.
+ Onnesama -- 'Much Honored Elder Sister'. Very rarely used, except by those who completely idolize their siblings. It could be argued that he's being sarcastic now, or that the context makes it serious. Whatever.


*******


*cough*
I'm sure your wondering about this. I mean, Yoshimo, being serious? What the hell?
First- the idea of Yoshi and Tomoko being siblings is an old one. Acording to that David Dude... (is that his name? =P He's one of the lead writers, worked on KotoR and HotU, too)... it was going to be brought up in the game, but it got taken out along with a million other things. There are many people who have probably touched on this element better then I have, I have a vague memory of a pretty Sarevok, Yoshimo, and Tomoko fic over on the Attic from long ago... I think they had a picknic or something, but it was cute.
Second- the thing in the game that got me was Yoshimo asking his heart to be taken from his body once dead. I always wondered about that. Kara-Tur's customs are that if one of there people are killed outside of their land, they'll never be able to 'trancend' (I used becoming ancestors to do that- that's actually an element from the WoD, but it sounded pretty, that once someone in Kara-Tur died, their family could talk to their spirit and still be guided by them). Kara-Tur also shares the custom that if someone is killed unjustily, they'll be unable to rest until their heart is satisfied or some such nonsense (whether Tomoko's death was unjust or not is for someone else to think over- Yoshi thinks it is). Err, at any rate, by taking his heart away from his body, it's unlikely that Yoshimo will ever be able to 'transend' even if taken back to his homelands... I saw that as two different things. First, in a way, he was saying 'I'm not worthy of it' (which is why I immediately had to think of why), and two, it was his way of turning his back on his past. By asking it to be blessed by Illemeter, a god of a different panethon then the one he was raised in, I got the feeling he was saying 'I don't care anymore' or that 'Look at where following my past got me!'. In this story, honor and duty got both him and his sister killed. In this, he will spit upon such concepts even while devoting his last act to it. Of course, that's just my interuptitation... *hides*
Third- I like Yoshimo, generally. Cibby, I believe, hates him... as do a lot of others. But something about him just seemed sad to me. There's nothing in the game to show such a thing- it was just one of those feelings I got. Odd, isn't it? I went off with that, with the whole maks thing, and with sort of implying that in the end, he had become a husk just wishing for death and to get away from it all. That's going out on a total limb, of course. But... well, I just did. Not sure why. I don't know. He's just having a serious moment here folks, nothing to see.


Regardless, I really don't like this piece, but I felt it was finished anyway.
...although I kept debating with changing farewell to Sayonara, which generally implies (not always, but most of the time) that you do not plan to see the person ever again. Kept it, though, to try and get away from seeming TOO fangirlish.

Well, thanks for reading. =) Comment and agree with how much it sucks! ^^;
« Last Edit: June 14, 2005, 02:33:36 PM by jcompton »
"Knowledge is Power.  Power Corrupts.  Study Hard.  Be Evil."  - Mikka

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