Author Topic: Comments on The Sweetest Day  (Read 1287 times)

Offline Ghreyfain

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Comments on The Sweetest Day
« on: February 16, 2005, 05:47:41 AM »
Um, actually, that quote at the beginning's not entirely accurate. :)  I didn't read the rest, because I'm about to go to work in half an hour.  Not that I ever read fanfic in the first place.  Not sure what I'm doing here now, in fact.  Anyhoo... ciao.
Earn Money Sleeping.

Offline Ashara

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Re: Comments on The Sweetest Day
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2005, 09:30:42 AM »
It had been a long time since I played it, Master Ghreyfain  ;) I'll check the cloak once I get a minute and correct it.
Hang in there. I'll try to make you glad you did.
óGeorge R.R. Martin

There is nothing better than imagining other worlds [...] to forget the painful one we live in. At least so I thought then. I hadn't yet realized that, imagining other worlds, you end up changing this one.
-Umberto Eco, Baudolino

Three mods you shall make - one too bad and one to dread and one to love.

Offline SeanFan

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Re: Comments on The Sweetest Day
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2005, 10:44:46 AM »
Well, who knew Kelsey was a candidate for a "No Fat Chicks" t-shirt? I woulda never guessed.  :)

I liked the insights into why Kelsey had cultivated such an easy-going, willing to please manner, and I think that it provides a good explanation for why he might stay with someone as petulant and annoying as Teya. (Well, that and the possibility of being turned into Slayer kibble.)

His sudden concern with her weight seemed a little abrupt, but that could be because there were so many other things to dislike in Teya that I'd think a little hippiness would be a minor issue. Of course, if your goal is to portray Kelsey as essentially shallow and weak-willed underneath his eager-to-please exterior, I'd say it worked.

One nit: I'm guessing that "readheads" in the first sentence should be "redheads". There was a near-duplicate paragraph toward the end too, but it looks like you corrected that.

Offline Ashara

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Re: Comments on The Sweetest Day
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2005, 04:25:21 PM »
The challenge was to do a bad boy Kelsey without changing the nature of the character (or changing it as little as possible) :) And yep, I was aiming for shallow and weak.

*giggles* redheads... of course.
Hang in there. I'll try to make you glad you did.
óGeorge R.R. Martin

There is nothing better than imagining other worlds [...] to forget the painful one we live in. At least so I thought then. I hadn't yet realized that, imagining other worlds, you end up changing this one.
-Umberto Eco, Baudolino

Three mods you shall make - one too bad and one to dread and one to love.

Offline Regullus

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Re: Comments on The Sweetest Day
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2005, 05:39:32 PM »
A nice short tale.

At last a vaguely bad Kelsey. When I consider the trials and tribulations that Kelsey has been put through in various fanfics, from outright snuff tales to unrequited and moving lifetime suffering, I think it is about time for a new sub, sub, sub-genre of bad boy Kelsey fics. Nice job. :)

 

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