Comments on "The Chronicles of Darkness: Stockholm Syndrome"

[Lu]

Well, I'm no expert on souls

   Well, I'm no expert on fiction, so I'll only stick to the facts

Cause Jailin sure isn't here. Nor Minsc. Jaheira. Anomen, Aerie, anyone

  (Jailin = Charname, right?)  Imoen couldn't have met Anomen or Aerie

A simple thief girl who can cast spells? A common pickpocket with knowledge of prestidigitation? [...]
 By Mystra...

   I've always thought that Jon himself taught Immy witchcraft

Is that the only reason you chose me? Because I look like her?

   Do you really think Immy is attractive? Anyway, I doubt she thinks so herself

I ran away, but I came back.
...I'll always come back... [...]
I think the reason I hate myself so much for loving you is that you hurt me and I liked it

   !!!

how do you tell the ones you love, your remaining family, that you love the man who captured them and you, raped you, killed one of their husbands, one of their wives

   No way Dyna was Minsc's wife

Gorion saved us both, but gave me to Winthrop

   Unlike BG1, BG2 is full of crap (it's still a great game though). Gorion never was Immy's foster father (e.g. he and Charname leave Candle Keep without her)

The only things I could do better than her were sing, play guitar, and steal things

   Guitar? Hmm... perhaps, flute? Anyway, Ellisime's an elf, so Immy's definitely no match to her as an artist/singer/songwriter/etc

you could barely even keep an erection [...] And then, you got the dryads

   This is a (quasi-)medieval world, dear, but the words in these two sentences sound very modern. And you have read the Poetic Eddas and Shakespeare... well, you know what I mean
   Btw, there're lovely translations of 1,001 Nights available online. E.g. by Sir Richard Burton. I can give you some links, if you wish

Warning you now, I mention a few sexual things

   You promised, so I'm waiting

   Well, you already had a couple compliments from me before, I won't annoy you with more


 EDIT> Hey, I was sure I posted it as a reply to Imoen N's. How come?

[Bons]

EDIT> Hey, I was sure I posted it as a reply to Imoen N's. How come?

It's rule #1 in the Fan Fiction Forum Rules. If you look, you'll see that every other story with discussion has the comments in a separate thread.

[Lu]

  Thanks, Bons. I'm new to this section. Are you the mod here, btw? Couldn't find mod's name

 EDIT> If yes, then perhaps I should address you "ma'am" in this section (but only in this section). What do you say?

[Bex]

I ran away, but I came back.
...I'll always come back... [...]
I think the reason I hate myself so much for loving you is that you hurt me and I liked it

   !!!

That's the Stockholm Syndrome talking. Psychological phenomenom in a hostage situation, whereby the captive starts to identify with or admire the captor.

The only things I could do better than her were sing, play guitar, and steal things

   Guitar? Hmm... perhaps, flute? Anyway, Ellisime's an elf, so Immy's definitely no match to her as an artist/singer/songwriter/etc

The comparison is to Charname (Jailin here), not Ellesime. This is Imoen romance mod stuff referred to here.

Re: the fiction itself
The spin is different, though not someplace I'm terribly inclined to go.

[Lu]

The comparison is to Charname (Jailin here), not Ellesime

   Silly me. Thank you
 Well, in this case, the idea of mentioning Charname doesn't seem good here at all. And I still insist on the flute

This is Imoen romance mod stuff referred to here

   Oh, I know nothing about Imoen romance mod, and Miss Imoen Nightflame never mentioned it

Psychological phenomenom in a hostage situation, whereby the captive starts to identify with or admire the captor

  If that's addressed to Miss Nightflame, then I guess you are 100% right
  Bit if it's meant to disagree with my comments, then you may have mistaken "!!!" for my disagreement with the author

  Then I have to change my mind on this one (quote: myself)

you already had a couple compliments from me before, I won't annoy you with more

  Imoen, the general line is what I '!!!'
  I still see differently some details, even some important details, but it may be a question of tastes

  As a whole, I dare suggest (or I expected) it to be fanfic on BG, not inspired by BG. But if you agree with me, it's quite easy to fix, I guess

[Lu]

   Well, now I'd like to say (or try to) of my general impression
   I guess there are quite talented writers - maybe even geniuses - who are very skilled and tricky with words and can make you eventually believe in every lie they feel like saying, etc, and perhaps this is among the worst things that words can do
   On the contrary, when the first thing that you see and the first words that you want to speak after reading is 'how true!', then all the rest is of lesser importance, IMO
   I am no cricisist and wouldn't pretend as such, blah blah blah
   So all what I want to say about this Immy's ?letter is 'how true!'

   Once again I'm sorry if I sound like a pompous and pretentious ass, such comments is smth I've never tried before, so hardly any constuctive criticism should be expected, save that blah blah blah

 PS. Merry Xmas and a happy New Year to Imoen Nightflame, Bons, and everybody

 PPS. Bons, I have a couple questions about forum rules, if you don't mind
     Fanfic section is definitely about stuff very different from the rest of the forums, and thus having rules here seems 100% justified to me. So it's not that I gonna raise my voice for freedom, just there are things that I'd like to clarify, in order both to avoid violating the rules in the future and to have your judgment on more general issues
  I could PM you (that's the best, IMO), or ask my questions here, or start a new thread, whatever you tell me. If you don't, I'm gonna PM you. It may take a couple of days to have my questions ready, so perhaps posting them soon after New Year's Day is the best

 PPPS.  See PS

[Bons]

PPS. Bons, I have a couple questions about forum rules, if you don't mind
     Fanfic section is definitely about stuff very different from the rest of the forums, and thus having rules here seems 100% justified to me. So it's not that I gonna raise my voice for freedom, just there are things that I'd like to clarify, in order both to avoid violating the rules in the future and to have your judgment on more general issues
  I could PM you (that's the best, IMO), or ask my questions here, or start a new thread, whatever you tell me. If you don't, I'm gonna PM you. It may take a couple of days to have my questions ready, so perhaps posting them soon after New Year's Day is the best

Any questions/discussion about the rules can go in the existing rules thread. I just edited out parts of two of the rules that have proven irrelevant over time, by the way. On the whole, the fan fiction forum has always worked the same as any other PPG forum, except for the organization of stories and comments into separate threads.

[Lu]

   Thanks, Bons. Must have missed a lot of stuff about this section. Sorry, I'll fix it

[Imoen_Nightflame]

Well, thank you all for the commentary!
I really should have posted classifications on this -_-
The series is a bit Alternate Universe, and I did mention some of the Imoen Romance mod. So, that's why people might have a problem with it. I was a bit more canon with the first of the series, but this fic came on a plot bunny triggered by a bad memory. I tried to put as much of my experiances into it as I could.
And I only used my Charname's name because calling her/him/it "The Other" seemed flat and got old really fast.

But, thanks all! And Lu, just for you, I'm going to go label the classifications on the fic ^_^ <3 ya!