Bang a gong, we are on! Iron Modder celebrates an even half-dozen events, renewing the tradition of the most intense 240 minutes of creative scripting for any gaming engine! For this important occasion, Chairman Kaga thoughtfully devised the theme "A Hero For All the Wrong Reasons" to tempt and torment the Iron Modders in attendance!
Six Iron Modders answered the Chairman's call, with a range of dishes new and old, serving up their learned evaluations of the true nature of heroism. Who would best deliver the flavor of the tainted champion?
The Chairman shared his thoughts with the anxious audience before making his presentation.
So many of us salute heroes without knowing what they truly stood for. Are deeds or acts more important to the measure of a person? As we partake of these Iron Mods, we may learn more about the meaning of heroism.
Scoring judges were jcompton, St. Josephine, Userunfriendly, and Bons.
"Iron Modder 6 is much like Thai Food. Most of the dishes were quite spicy and seasoned well. All the dishes were small, and very nicely crafted. If not the substantial, filling portions of earlier events, the nicely working Tp2 and lack of parsing errors made me quite happy. Did I mention I LOVE Thai food? Yummm..." -- Userunfriendly
IRON MODDER SIMDING0
Surely there are others in the Realms who could be called "hero" and solve the problems <CHARNAME> cannot manage on such a busy schedule. Iron Modder SimDing0 introduces us to Bruce, a man of dubious pedigree whom the people of Trademeet hail as a true friend and savior.
"The skills of the Ding0 are without question, and he has recruited the voicing flair of the legendary Slid Mang0 as well! I've fainted in bliss just imagining the delights in store!
This entry takes place in the town of Trademeet, in a dire scenario where <CHARNAME> has abandoned the town to its fate. Such fear and trepidation filled me at what I might find among the markets and tiled promenades, my only recourse was to find comfort in a bottle of ginjo sake to steady my nerves. Those in the modding community know, of course, that many of Sim's finest modding efforts involve alcohol. With greatest respect to Ding0-san, I imbibe! Hee!
I was eager to enjoy this course, so I transported my test party to Chapter 6 and AR2000 using CLUAConsole in a tizzy of delight. Alas, I had to sacrifice several moments to suffer the dialogue advances of Neeber -- the anticipation to enjoy Sim's entry grew nigh on unbearable! Finally, I encountered the fountain in the heart of the city as instructed in the brief ReadMe and discovered a surprising tribute to an avant-garde manner of new hero for Trademeet! I gasped in surprise! By all means, more sake was needed as I continued my suspenseful journey.
When my most humble test party encountered the Hero, Bruce, he was very quick to anger. I hardly had time to register the dulcet tones of Mang0-san's voice before we entered the fray! I chose to try another taste of this dish, and this time, I encountered the true meat of Bruce's story--much more satisfying and savory!
Ding0-san's entry had many complex ingredients, involving dialogue, journal entries and area-modifying tricks to delight the player. All in all, an appealing interlude fit for an Emperor!" -- Bons
"Sim's submission had a nicely crunchy texture, with a bit of ham added, via a character named Bruce. A rather familiar, yet appealing story about mistaken identity, and the classic theme of its better to be lucky than good." -- Userunfriendly
"At turns violent, erotic, and full of life's little lessons, Sim's entry is a tasty tale of a cockney bartender falling ass-backwards into heroism and the town that needed someone to believe in, no matter how coarse and vile. As filling as a shepherd's pie and a pint o' bitter!" – St. Josephine
IRON MODDER SCONRAD
Iron Modder SConrad decided to honor the letter but not the spirit of the Iron Modder competition, serving up a plate of microwaved leftovers—the potatoes and rutabagas of the Hubelpot NPC mod. Is Hubelpot a hero for the wrong reasons, or simply an unlikely one?
'Tell me what you mod, and I'll tell you what you are.'
As defending champion, I expected a valiant battle from this contestant to retain the glory of the Iron Modder title, inventing new dishes and exploring intriguing flavors as the other contestant vied passionately to snatch the pirate hat from his crown. In contrast, the content of this entry can already be seen packaged as the Hubelpot NPC; only the slimmest haiku of new material could possibly have been added, so slim I failed to recognize it from my NPC-playing experience soon after that project's release. Recycled material has generated little rapture from judges in the past, but it has been accessorized by significant added garnishes until now. My dismay shall be legend, for this entry was better suited for ruminants than hungry modders.
As a contestant who has known the heights of victory and the shame of defeat, I can say I have struggled, sweated, and toiled in each of the five competitions I have taken part in to deliver the most complete, inventive and enjoyable Iron Modding entry I could muster that would fit the theme. More often than not, as happened today, the clock is my greatest nemesis in delivering a worthy entree to be added to the judging menu, and I have grieved at my failures. I was bewildered to see this dish placed on the table so early within the four hour creation-period, with more than half of the creation-period expired. I was stunned to see that it offered no discernable new content, as if the entrant couldn't be bothered.
This mod offers so little substance, I can only offer it the most meagre of scores. At best, it is an insult to the honor of those those who have tried earnestly now and in the past to succeed as faithful competitors in Modding Stadium. Better to fail gloriously making a grand attempt than to not even try." -- Bons
"Much like bringing a takeout meal into a cookoff, this meal left sour taste in mouth. I did score high for entertainment, however, since Hubelpot is a good mod." -- Userunfriendly
"A wise woman once said that packaging an existing mod for entry in an Iron Modder contest is like entering an Iron Chef competition and pulling prepared meals out of the freezer. The meals can be well done but the spirit in which it was done leaves a bad taste in one's mouth." -- St. Josephine
IRON MODDER GHREYFAIN
A hastily-assembled one-course meal from the inaugural two-time champion, the Iron Pirate delivers a chat about heroic deeds between Korgan and a dismissive Anomen. Is Korgan a hero despite the blackness of his heart?
"Another triumph of wit for the iron flapjack himself. A little too light and too quickly consumed, yet like sushi, its beautiful presentation does a good job of hiding its small servings." -- Userunfriendly
"There is one thing a pirate always delivers, no matter the trials, tribulations and time contraints: a well-tailored ReadMe, filled with the piping-hot goodness of Broth of Vigor! I sip the wise playing advice of Fain-san, and, energized, I skip onward toward the next course in this feast of modding euphoria!
The ReadMe promised a single banter, and true to its word, a single banter was delivered. What a morsel! Anomen and Korgan engage in a truffle of an exchange, its rich quality worthy of inclusion in the BanterPacks and seemless with the tone of existing game content. This delicacy was over too quickly, and while my consumption was orgasmic, a bitter aftertaste followed. I hunger for the completion of another, larger mod from Chef Fain. Enough looting! Allez modding, Ghrey-san!" -- Bons
"Anomen and Korgan have a meaty discussion on what it means to be a hero. Korgan is deliciously vulgar, as always. If Korgan were a food, would he be a blood pudding? Or would he be haggis? Or maybe a nasty piece of gristle that you can't seem to swallow, no matter how hard you chew?" -- St. Josephine
IRON MODDER NERIANA
Iron Modder Neriana reminds us that hero worship comes in many forms, including the oft-irrational worship of a figure of popular media. Haer'Dalis finds himself surrounded by applauding onlookers. But do they have any taste whatsoever?
"A sugar spun tale of fans getting a lesson in heroism while hounding everyone's favorite extra-planar thespian for autographs. I wanted to see him sign her... *cough*... pardon me. This is a family show." -- St. Josephine
"With glistening delight I proceeded to the Bridge District to enjoy neriana's entry. Mechanically, the creatures spawned quite effortlessly, a sentimental mod ingredient for me, as spawning issues caused my own entry to fail to qualify for judging glory in Modding Stadium. Please excuse me as I dry my tears and pour more sake to soothe my shame. But, no! This is not a time for grief, but jubilation and triumph that neriana's efforts meet the palate like smooth peanut butter! Onward!
The emotive content of neriana's entry angles the theme to tackle one of my favorite subjects: the pathos and passion of the groupie. How they drivel! How they coo! The modder generously stuffs this mod with content from a multitude of NPCs, as well as delivering a token appeal to the vanity of <CHARNAME>'s participation. Perhaps not the most complex dish on the menu this evening, but a generous helping to appease the hungriest modder's appetite!" -- Bons
"Neriana's submission showed a different side of Haer'dalis' life little explored before. Actors have groupies. And while one of the groupies showed all the intelligence of a goldfish, perhapse the others may begin to realize the difference between stage acting and real life." -- Userunfriendly
IRON MODDER DOMI
New to Infinity Stadium, Iron Modder Domi examines the meteoric rise and probable fall of the elven community's answer to Noober and Neeber. Does loyal service to the queen truly make one a qualified hero?
"A new contestant to the Iron Modder! How blissful! Like the blossoming of chrysanthemums at the foot of Mount Fuji!
My giggles are unending! What a fluffy treat! A frisky delight! Taking place at the Tree of Life, I expected a grave and epic scenario to unfold with this entry. Imagine my surprise at the appearance of such a talkative and irreverent new party member! I truly enjoyed this course of the meal, finding the comments of the unlikely hero inventive and delightful, popping like champagne sipped through a straw! I only wish I had saved this entry for dessert, but my multiple tests proved each nibble of this small mod provided a slightly different flavor! Replay kudasai!" – Bons
"A cousin of Neeber and Noober at the Tree of Life? Who woulda thunk? Wonderfully executed and cleverly arranged but left me wanting more more more!" -- St. Josephine
"A Brilliant parody of the npc everyone loves to hate, Neeber. More than a little annoying, this variant of Neeber exemplified the abysimal low intelligence, and the most annoying of characteristics imaginable. Like a serving of lobster, the fun is in cracking the shell with hammers..." -- Userunfriendly
IRON MODDER SHED
Second time lucky, Iron Modder Shed returns to Infinity Stadium with a palatable consignment from the Umar Hills, and a tale of a rather odd hero who draws his strength not from his strength of character, but from his garments. Is he everything he believes himself to be, or just a beneficiary of circumstance and strong pantaloons?
"Chef Shed is back, and he's refined his techniques to provide a wholesome modding snack! This breath of fresh air goes straight to my head! I am like a bird eating sushi, pecking this trail of crumbs waiting in the Umar Hills with bounteous pleasure! This was a pleasing encounter with some entertaining dialogue entries, but the secret ingredient proved to be the bounty of items left behind by our not-quite-hero! The inclusion of a pair of underpants made me wonder if something might be reheated, but there was plenty or original content for me to cast this doubt aside." -- Bons
"The people want a hero and The Hero is glad to oblige them. The ending is slightly confusing, albeit the ingredients involved are somewhat clever." -- St. Josephine
"The anonymous hero. This meal was disturbing in that so much more could have been done. A bit more backstory, a touch of extra dialog would have done much to season this dish. Still, well crafted and with some good touches here and there." -- Userunfriendly
IRON MODDER BONS (unscored)
In the sort of mishap that can occur in Infinity Stadium, Bons' tale of a young circus-going boy awestruck by the might and power of <CHARNAME> was completed a few minutes after the Chairman's deadline! Surely, though, midnight snackers will enjoy the completion of this tale, a look at the dangers of over-impressionable youth! Gracious in conceding the day, Bons gamely stepped in for judge Sorschana, who came down with fugu poisoning just before evaluation was to begin!
The judging is complete! Six digestible dishes of misguided heroism! Who would be the hero this day? Whose menu best exhibited the theme? Who will it be? Which Iron Modder shall reign supreme?
IRON MODDER DOMI!
The reluctant Iron Modder makes her first visit to Infinity Stadium on a whim and takes the judges by storm! Not since the disputed title of Iron Modder 3 has the final result been so close, but with two first-place votes in her pocket, Domi won a slightly larger share of the judge's praise than the Iron Ding0! Calgary rocks once more as the Iron Modder title returns to Alberta, and there will be reveling in the streets for this stunning result! Congratulations!
FINAL SCORES out of 25 possible (average)