Author Topic: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"  (Read 2178 times)

Offline Bronwyn

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Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« on: November 23, 2004, 06:36:31 PM »
be gentle! /hides

 ;D


The fearsome undead hunter commonly referred to as "Pumpkin"..... also sometimes known as Ilyena...

Offline Evaine Dian

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2004, 07:11:36 PM »
I like it a lot, bascially because I'm always interested in what life might be like after the end of BG2, and because it contains all the things that are dear to me :)

(One little comment: I think it was a little difficult to read, maybe it would be more eye-friendly, if you divided it up into more paragraphs?)

I'm curious how this story might go on!

EDIT:  I also like your detailed description of this winter morning. I can imagine it very well. Somehow I get some kind of sentimental Christmas feeling right now, which is very unusual for me. Good work, Bronwyn  :)
« Last Edit: December 24, 2004, 11:03:06 AM by Evaine Dian »
"Show me how you do that trick! The one that makes me scream", she said,
"the one that makes me laugh!" she said and threw her arms around my neck.
"Show me how you do it and I promise you, I promise that
I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you..."

Offline Bronwyn

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2004, 08:38:16 PM »

(One little comment: I think it was a little difficult to read, maybe it would be more eye-friendly, if you divided it up into more paragraphs? )


Will do! Thanks and I'm glad you liked :)

The fearsome undead hunter commonly referred to as "Pumpkin"..... also sometimes known as Ilyena...

Offline jcompton

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2004, 10:40:34 PM »
We know about the curtains... but surely adventure and/or peril must lurk! I await the adventure and/or peril. :)
Cespenar says, "Kelsey and friends be at the Pocket Plane? Ohhh yesssss!" http://www.pocketplane.net

Offline Bronwyn

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2004, 09:55:51 AM »
We know about the curtains... but surely adventure and/or peril must lurk! I await the adventure and/or peril. :)


you command and I obey!

The fearsome undead hunter commonly referred to as "Pumpkin"..... also sometimes known as Ilyena...

Offline Evaine Dian

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2004, 10:29:45 AM »
We know about the curtains... but surely adventure and/or peril must lurk! I await the adventure and/or peril. :)


you command and I obey!



Well, I know that it was meant to be a joke, but don't let it get you down, it's  your  story, you can write what you want, you don't have to "obey".


Hu, it's getting pretty exciting now!
"Show me how you do that trick! The one that makes me scream", she said,
"the one that makes me laugh!" she said and threw her arms around my neck.
"Show me how you do it and I promise you, I promise that
I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you..."

Offline Bronwyn

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2004, 01:58:10 PM »
well I wasn't really serious I already had the next part written before I saw it anyways  ;D


The fearsome undead hunter commonly referred to as "Pumpkin"..... also sometimes known as Ilyena...

Offline celticrose

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2004, 12:45:46 AM »
I just read the first (?) installment of your story. . . I enjoyed it, it has just the right amount of detail, found myself looking around for Rose Tea & Herbed Bread!  I thought it flowed nicely.
I see you also use the "cliff-hanger" method!!!!   ;) Soooo, how soon can we find out what happens??

Anxiously Waiting. . . baitted breath & all ( runs to get a breath mint).
Celtic Rose

Offline Bronwyn

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2005, 05:34:11 PM »
I really do intend to post another installment to it someday, I've just been very distracted since the holidays. I'm glad you like it :)
The fearsome undead hunter commonly referred to as "Pumpkin"..... also sometimes known as Ilyena...

Offline Bons

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Re: Comments on "For A Bard's Love"
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2005, 05:36:43 PM »
Very belated commenting, but much time has passed, and I'd like to see what happens next. So... prod, prod.

I'd suggest editing the punctuation in some of the dialogue, but I very much like the descriptive passages, such as the introductory winter morning and the "Serpent in the Snow" segment.
Newt had always suspected that people who regularly used the word "community" were using it in a very specific sense that excluded him and everyone he knew.

             --Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"

 

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