Author Topic: Comments on BG: The Musical  (Read 8020 times)

Offline Diana

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #25 on: July 02, 2004, 08:34:45 AM »
You know what would be a real gas?

Quote
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!

Doing that one if you get the music from Buffy: Once More With Feeling - the "I've Got A Theory/Bunnies midi.  I can just see it - Jan prancing on stage and firing his insect bruiser mate at the audience when they start booing.  :D
« Last Edit: July 02, 2004, 08:48:27 AM by Diana »

Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #26 on: July 02, 2004, 06:17:21 PM »
You know what would be a real gas?

Quote
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!

Doing that one if you get the music from Buffy: Once More With Feeling - the "I've Got A Theory/Bunnies midi.  I can just see it - Jan prancing on stage and firing his insect bruiser mate at the audience when they start booing.  :D

Just check the last story/song in the post...i wrote that almost a year ago, and i was quoting myself when i chose it for my signature...enjoy!!! ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;D
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
(or it could be griffins)

Offline Diana

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #27 on: July 03, 2004, 02:20:07 PM »
Quote
Just check the last story/song in the post
OMG...I love it!  I wish they'd do this for the Iron Modder.  I think someone could easily adapt the code from the "Biff the Understudy" stuff and do yours instead. Whoo-hoo!

Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #28 on: July 03, 2004, 04:00:07 PM »
Quote
Just check the last story/song in the post
OMG...I love it!  I wish they'd do this for the Iron Modder.  I think someone could easily adapt the code from the "Biff the Understudy" stuff and do yours instead. Whoo-hoo!

I'd love to see that!!!!  or ghrey can redo the turnip golem into a cutscene similar to the encounter with the knight in the holy grail, like i did with gnome improvement...

or...

The party left the building, with the new "Purchase" hidden in Nalia's backpack. Near the district exit, they saw a mob of peasants and a priest of Bashaba talking to a Knight of the Radiant Heart.

Priest: Look ye here on this foul drow! What shall we do with her?

Mob: Burn her! Burn the witch!

Sir. Bombast: Look here, my good people, what proof do you have that she is a witch?

Peasant: Well, she turned me into a newt!

Sir. Bombast: A NEWT???!!!

Peasant: Well, I got better.

Sir. Bombast: I'm afraid I must have more evidence before I can permit this burning. Now they didn't cover this in Knightly Deeds class, so how is a witch tried? Dear, dear me. What did Sir. Keldorn say?

Priest: Well, sir knight, its very simple. Now a witch burns at the stake right? What does that tell you? What else burns?

Sir. Bombast: Well, lets see. Urm, naughty men's underwear burns. So does leather clothing and silk blindfolds. Little leather whips and riding crops burn. Oh I know! Wood burns!

Priest: Exactly!!! So this means that....

Sir. Bombast: A witch is made of wood!!! Am I right???

Priest: Yes, Sir Bombast. You have it exactly. Now what happens if you throw wood into the lake?

Sir. Bombast: Urm, it floats! So a witch must also float! To the lake, to toss in our witch!

Priest: Yes, yes, but I have a test which will save time. Now then, what also floats?

Sir. Bombast: Urm, white lacey naughty men's underwear floats, and some of the leather clothing floats, but not the nice shiny black leather whips with satin thongs, or the Ostrich leather riding crop. The silk blindfolds might float, but that is all the things I can think of that float...

Nalia: A duck. (Behind her the party, except Minsc have all fallen down on the ground, unable to get up because they were giggling so hard. Nalia had an impassive face, except for a suspicious twitch in her left lip.)

Priest: Correct, most beautiful maiden. Now then this means...

Sir. Bombast: If the drow weighs the same as a duck, it is a witch!!!


or....

After helping out the little gnome in his dealings with the local police, she looked around, and officially gave Jan the welcome speech. (and gave him the 401k application, some health insurance stuff and an amulet for spellcasting)

Jan: So we are off to raise some cash to save the lassie, eh? What a fine company to do it in, too. Well, except for the stakes being your sister, I remember the last time we raced the clock to raise a tidy sum to be sent to hopefully bail out my uncle's buisness. You see, my uncle Buford Janssen ran the family's most lucrative buisness. The Swallow Express!!! You see, there is this special rare breed of turnip that resides over the sea in Kuran-Tur. The Trufflenip!!! This rare type of turnip is so rare and so highly prized by the gnomish palate, thousands of gnomes every year make the long trip overseas to eat it the short time it grows, and the rest is pickled and sold at fabulous price here in Amn. Or anywhere gnomes are found. Now uncle Buford had a good friend, named Dr. Donothing, a human, who claimed he could talk to the animals! As mad as a hatter, but he could control swallows. A most unusual power for a human. Well, uncle Buford knew that the Athlankian Swallow heads to Kuran-Tur for the winter, and once they arrive they become the Kuran-Turian swallows until summer comes around again. Then, they get back to Athlanka, aided by the seasonal winds. So he got the bright idea of having the swallows carry Trufflenips on small packs tied to their back, and thus sell fresh trufflenips in Amn, and the sword coast. We all knew this would be a winner, so the entire family invested. I naturally joined an adventuring band to do some quick gold. Unfortunately the buisness fell through after a while....You see, it all had to do with airspeed velocity. What is the airspeed Velocity of a Trufflenip laden swallow?

Nalia: Athlankian, or Kuran-Turian?

Jan: Oh, I don't know, but it didn't matter, you see the poor dears with the extra weight couldn't outrun the seasonal typhoons...drowned, every one.


or even...

Jan: You know, dear sweet lassie, those idiots remind me of my nephew Dufus Janssen. He was poor laddie, the most backward gnome you would ever meet. He would try to drink beer with his ear, because he kinda had problems when he was a child with his Mr. Turnip Head. Poor laddie always got the mouth and ears confused. Anyway, he and his Brother Bart Janssen, poor laddie was about as backward as Dufus...got into their noggins the notion of being bandits! So they got some dwarven platemail, and started robbing people on the Trademeet road. Now you understand that to a fighting gnome, the best target against the taller races is the knees and feet and toes, right lassie? This is why the traditional gnomish warcry is "Your knees are mine!!!" Poor Dufus and Bart never did have a way with words, so they would shorten the war cry when they robbed people. So they became "The Gnomes who say Knee!"

Nalia: Urm, so what did they steal? I mean I don't remember any reports of bandits along the Trademeet road recently...

Jan: Well, Dufus, I told you he was backwards, didn't I, lassie? Well, he somehow developed a taste for ornamental flora. He used to resemble a goat when he started to chew on evergreen trees and small bushes. So he and his brother demanded shrubbery from their victims. Poor laddie, it finally did him in. He died happier than a dung beetle in a dragon lair when he hijacked a huge shipment of shrubbery imported from tethry for the Jesslev estate. Sad story...



that's why i'm posting them...i would love to see iron modder, or even a quick and dirty mini mod, with my work as the inspiration...the problem though is in good voicing, and with the songs, someone with musical talent has to be involved... ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
(or it could be griffins)

Offline Diana

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #29 on: July 03, 2004, 05:51:19 PM »
You don't need voicing even .... just get a few sec of the the Buffy midi's converted to wav format and it's good to go.  Like I said, to see Jansen doing that take off on "Bunnies" and shooting off his insect Bruiser Mate at the crowd....priceless!

Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #30 on: July 04, 2004, 01:42:33 AM »
You don't need voicing even .... just get a few sec of the the Buffy midi's converted to wav format and it's good to go.  Like I said, to see Jansen doing that take off on "Bunnies" and shooting off his insect Bruiser Mate at the crowd....priceless!

did you like the bg2/monty python skits???  i've only written those three, alas... ;) :D
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
(or it could be griffins)

Offline Aubrey

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #31 on: October 20, 2004, 11:28:54 AM »

Solacabana by User Unmanilow

His name was Sola, he was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in his hair in a transvestite bar you know where
He would merengue and do the cha-cha
But while he tried to be a star,
Charname tended bar
Across the crowded floor, he worked from 8 til 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?

At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana)
The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here)
At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Sola....they fell in love.

His name was Ano. He wore a diamond.
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Sola dancing there
And when he finished, he called him over,
But Anomen went a bit too far,
Charname sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?

At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana)
The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here)
At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Sola....they fell in love.

Sola... Solacabana... music and passion... always the fashion...

His name was Sola, he was a showgirl,
But that was 30 years ago, before his nosehair started to show.
Now it's a disco, but not for Sola,
Still in the dress he used to wear,
Faded feathers in his hair.
He sits there so refined, and drinks himself half-blind.
He lost his youth and he lost his Charname,
Now he's lost his mind!

At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana)
The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here)
At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Sola....don't fall in love.


 ???
I am sorry, but... I have to ask: Have you seen a doctor lately? Have you?
What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good on this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
--  Gandalf

Offline jester

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #32 on: October 20, 2004, 11:48:15 AM »
With a couple of Mai-Tais (or Long Island Iceteas) and my yellow, open chested Rio shirt it worked fine for me. Perhaps you have to sing it out loud?
People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

Why spend all your day surfing for porn?




Balance in all things
I haven't had this much fun since... the last time.

Offline Aubrey

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #33 on: October 20, 2004, 12:01:49 PM »
Perhaps.  ::)
What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good on this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
--  Gandalf

Offline glain

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #34 on: October 23, 2004, 09:15:35 AM »
Ok, I'll admit it... I've been in a drug-induced coma for months and now through the modern miracles of science (and the makers of diet pepsi and red vines) I have awoken and finished reading "The Musical".  UU, you never cease to amaze me and scare me at the same time. ::) Once again you have seeped into the darkest recesses of my mind and planted those little seeds of insanity that will flourish into full blooms in the Spring of my nightmares. (What's the name of that flower from Little Shop of Horrors?) 

PS. Don't forget, I know where you live... :pirate
Beware the evil behind the smiling eyes...

Offline jester

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #35 on: October 23, 2004, 11:29:25 AM »
Audrey 2 IIRC after his first love.
People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

Why spend all your day surfing for porn?




Balance in all things
I haven't had this much fun since... the last time.

Offline cliffette

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #36 on: October 24, 2004, 12:54:17 AM »
With a couple of Mai-Tais (or Long Island Iceteas) and my yellow, open chested Rio shirt it worked fine for me. Perhaps you have to sing it out loud?

Photo pls.

Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #37 on: October 27, 2004, 01:31:36 AM »

Solacabana by User Unmanilow

His name was Sola, he was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in his hair in a transvestite bar you know where
He would merengue and do the cha-cha
But while he tried to be a star,
Charname tended bar
Across the crowded floor, he worked from 8 til 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?

At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana)
The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here)
At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Sola....they fell in love.

His name was Ano. He wore a diamond.
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Sola dancing there
And when he finished, he called him over,
But Anomen went a bit too far,
Charname sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?

At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana)
The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here)
At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Sola....they fell in love.

Sola... Solacabana... music and passion... always the fashion...

His name was Sola, he was a showgirl,
But that was 30 years ago, before his nosehair started to show.
Now it's a disco, but not for Sola,
Still in the dress he used to wear,
Faded feathers in his hair.
He sits there so refined, and drinks himself half-blind.
He lost his youth and he lost his Charname,
Now he's lost his mind!

At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana)
The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here)
At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Sola....don't fall in love.


 ???
I am sorry, but... I have to ask: Have you seen a doctor lately? Have you?

actually yes...and i am sane... 8) 8) 8)
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
(or it could be griffins)

Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #38 on: October 27, 2004, 01:32:19 AM »
With a couple of Mai-Tais (or Long Island Iceteas) and my yellow, open chested Rio shirt it worked fine for me. Perhaps you have to sing it out loud?

i second cliffette's request...pics please... :o :o :o ::)
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
(or it could be griffins)

Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #39 on: October 27, 2004, 01:36:14 AM »
Ok, I'll admit it... I've been in a drug-induced coma for months and now through the modern miracles of science (and the makers of diet pepsi and red vines) I have awoken and finished reading "The Musical".  UU, you never cease to amaze me and scare me at the same time. ::) Once again you have seeped into the darkest recesses of my mind and planted those little seeds of insanity that will flourish into full blooms in the Spring of my nightmares. (What's the name of that flower from Little Shop of Horrors?) 

PS. Don't forget, I know where you live... :pirate

OMG...i just popped in here to post a new bit of utter lunacy and gratutious anomen humiliation piece, and i read this...are you ok??? :'( :'( :'(

having had my own share of medical problems in the past, its tough bouncing back...

hopefully, the musical and other pieces in here, like my latest bit of insanity, will cheer you up...or at least make you giggle...hope you're ok... :-\ :-*
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
(or it could be griffins)

Offline glain

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #40 on: October 27, 2004, 07:48:32 AM »
hopefully, the musical and other pieces in here, like my latest bit of insanity, will cheer you up...or at least make you giggle...hope you're ok... :-\ :-*
UU... you always cheer me up, make me giggle and give me cause to repeatedly attempt to bleach my eyeballs out.  ;)  Please keep it up!!! ;D ;D ;D
Beware the evil behind the smiling eyes...

Offline Userunfriendly

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Re: Comments on BG: The Musical
« Reply #41 on: October 27, 2004, 06:03:25 PM »
hopefully, the musical and other pieces in here, like my latest bit of insanity, will cheer you up...or at least make you giggle...hope you're ok... :-\ :-*
UU... you always cheer me up, make me giggle and give me cause to repeatedly attempt to bleach my eyeballs out.  ;)  Please keep it up!!! ;D ;D ;D

gah...the image of an eye dropper being filled with chlorox.... :o :o :o

well, mission accomplished!!! ;) ;) ;)
Jansens aren't as harmless like everybody supposes!
They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses!
And what's with all the turnips?
Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway?
Jansens, Jansens,
It must be Jansens!!!
(or it could be griffins)

 

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