Author Topic: Comments on Possession  (Read 2306 times)

Offline jcompton

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Comments on Possession
« on: July 25, 2004, 08:21:02 PM »
Very interesting! And no last-minute save, he really did just abandon her. Nicely done.

(Personally, I've always thought Nalia's legs would be just slightly meaty. But then, maybe Isaea and I have our scales calibrated differently.)
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Offline Kirwond

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Re: Comments on Possession
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2004, 10:11:17 PM »
Thanks, Jason! Perhaps Nalia's legs are slim in comparison to those of the last five serving girls Isaea's seen. I'm afraid to speculate. :)
"Yes, I remember Avalon," he said, "a place of silver and shade and cool waters, where the stars shone like bonfires at night and the green of day was always the green of spring. Youth, love, beauty--I knew them in Avalon. Proud steeds, bright metal, soft lips, dark ale."
--Roger Zelazny

Offline jcompton

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Re: Comments on Possession
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2004, 11:38:46 PM »
It occurs to me that I didn't really say much about the story beyond remarking on Nalia's thighs.

I thought it was a very accurate peek inside the mind of Isaea, even though it's not an interpretation of the Keep Invasion that I buy into. (I think Roenall the Elder only takes the direct approach when it becomes very clear that the Keep situation is out of his control. I think he was content to let what he felt was inevitable, the pairing of Nalia and Isaea, take as long as it needed to before that.)

The sidebar of the bastard Bhaalspawn was a nice touch as well. And that's ultimately what he was--just a sidebar. Which doesn't always work in BG2 "add-on media" like mods and stories, but in this case proved very effective, not at all a minimizing distraction, etc.
Cespenar says, "Kelsey and friends be at the Pocket Plane? Ohhh yesssss!" http://www.pocketplane.net

Offline cliffette

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Re: Comments on Possession
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2004, 12:28:45 AM »
Really good, Kirwond. You have Isaea's sliminess and arrogance (and complete self-unawareness) oozing out of the page. The only problem I had with this was that the last half (once Nalia is captured) seems rushed, after the character development and detail of the first half. But all in all, it was great, though unlike Nalia, I would have found Isaea's grisly death more satisfying. :)

Offline Perdita

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Re: Comments on Possession
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2004, 08:29:30 PM »
Even though I'm not a big fan of twisty stories, that's just me, I found it a well done story.  You've really got Isea's character nailed here, although it's uncomfortable to be in his viewpoint.  We have to be in his POV for the end to be a surprise.  Poor Nalia, abandoned by the hero, and having to bury her real feelings while she bides her time.  I kept expecting the big lug to come to her rescue, but no calvary--as it should be, because the heroine should affect her own resolution.  Then she has the strength to carry out a revenge plan that is much worse than simply killing him.  (I wouldn't want an Isea doll in my pocket, though :P  :D)

I had the impression in the game that the Keep invasion was all Isea's doing.  I seem to remember that Nalia was on good terms with Isea's father at the funeral, but maybe then she just didn't know the extent of his perfidy.

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Offline Lord Kain

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Re: Comments on Possession
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2004, 01:04:19 AM »
turned into her doll! thats great, better then my idea of being polymorpthed into a squirrel and turned to stone thus becoming her paper weight.

Hey maybe he'll get lucky and be kept around in her room.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2004, 07:49:01 PM by Lord Kain »
Now, at last, the masks had fallen away.  The strings of the puppets had become visible, and the hands of the prime mover exposed.  Most ironic of all was the last gift that Raziel had given me, more powerful than the sword that now held his soul, more acute even than the vision his sacrifice had accorded me - the first bitter taste of that terrible illusion:  Hope.

Offline Kirwond

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Re: Comments on Possession
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2004, 02:44:47 AM »
JC--Yes, as I read the different threads in your Nalia forum, I become aware of how much I'm clinging to an old interpretation. (I think it's still whatever I decided on my first game.) But, hey, it's not the important bit of the story here, so I'm not too concerned. :) I'm glad marginalizing Barek worked for you. I think I've gone off writing the Bhaalspawn as major character. Done too much of it, maybe.

Cliffette--I agree about the rushed feel. In fact, thinking back on it, the beginning bit took about four days to write (not including time spent thinking), and the second bit took fifteen minutes.  :-[ I think the reasoning there was that I was afraid of going overboard with Isaea's character and making him into too much of a caricature. I'm planning on going back and fleshing things out when I have a moment, hopefully soon.

Perdita--Oh, I don't know. If he were a Tickle-Me-Isaea doll, she might find him entertaining. Ooh, never mind. What a bad mental image I've just had. :P I wasn't terribly comfortable with writing Isaea's POV, but I guess that's the fun of it. :)

Lord Kain--Heh, I'm sure he would enjoy that more if he weren't a doll. Though I'm sure he'd see much more of her that way.  ;)

Thanks, everyone! I'm glad that you've enjoyed the read, and I really appreciate your thoughtful comments!
"Yes, I remember Avalon," he said, "a place of silver and shade and cool waters, where the stars shone like bonfires at night and the green of day was always the green of spring. Youth, love, beauty--I knew them in Avalon. Proud steeds, bright metal, soft lips, dark ale."
--Roger Zelazny

 

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