It's time for the big finish...
Part III
Minsc (and Boo) arose very early the next morning. As Minsc tiptoed down the hall, he said, "Boo, tell me again why we are sneaking around like the thiefs in the night. Oh yes, so we do not wake the other people and Dynaheir. And also because rangers are stealthy. Yes, I forgot. Dynaheir would not allow us to go up the beanstalk again. So I will be as quiet as a hamster! What... oh yes... shhh."
The pair quickly and quietly made their way to the beanstalk and up they went. Minsc knew he would have to rescue the Golden Harp... er, the Golden Harper that day because to get up any earlier would simply mean not going to bed at all. And there was still the giant to deal with.
So Minsc (and Boo) rushed down the path to the very big door. This time, Minsc knew to ring the doorbell... and so he did.
"Well, well, well, the small rivven has returned!" announced the giant's wife. "You shall not get away from me again! This time you are going straight to the amusement pit!"
Minsc said to Boo, "How did the large woman know it was Minsc? What is that, Boo? I forgot my disguise? Yes, that would explain it."
As the giant's wife was about to grab Minsc (and Boo), a familiar refrain could be heard:
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Fum,
I smell the blood...
(Eh, why do I bother? It always ends the same. Let us just get on with the story... it's already too long.)
VICONIA!"
With that, the giant's wife forgot about Minsc (and Boo) and ran off to see what her husband wanted this time.
"Yes, my husband, what is it?" she queried. "You did not finish your dreary little rhyme."
"I require you to bring me my gold. I grow bored with my experiments (not to mention the intelligence of the simians) and I wish a diversion."
The giant's wife oozed close to her husband and purred, "I could provide you a more pleasurable distraction. I am well versed in the drow art of..."
"Yes, yes, I am well aware of your... talents. (I know women find me irresistable, but can't she give it a rest?) I only wish to run my fingers through my lovely gold." came the somewhat longer than necessary reply.
"Very well, I shall bring you your gold. But you had better find a way to increase it instead of wasting time with these experiments!" Before the giant could reply, she was gone.
Minsc (and Boo) had scurried for cover as soon as the giant's wife's attention was turned elsewhere. They saw her return with two very large bags of gold... well, they seemed large to Minsc. To the giant's wife, they seemed only as big as a lady's evening bag.
Minsc said to Boo, "Did you see all that gold, Boo? Never have I seen so much! We should get it to give to the people of the village. Yes, we will again wait until he falls asleep. He does seem to be a very sound sleeper."
The giant, growing sleepy, replaced the gold in their bags, and placing them on the floor (how convenient is that, eh, Boo?), put his feet up and went to sleep. Minsc (and Boo) did the ranger stealth thing, snatched the bags, and ran for the beanstalk.
Once there, Minsc said, "Boo, I do not think we have time to climb down the beanstalk and back up. Besides, if Dynaheir sees us, we will have no chance to rescue the Golden Harp... er, yes, the Golden Harper. I will just throw the bags down, OK?" And without further thought, he did. (Oo, I hope that the town crier will be alright.)
With that, the pair hurried back to the very big door. "Boo, do you think we can squeeze under the door? They really need to use weatherstripping. And Minsc does not wish to meet the very large, unpleasant woman again."
And so, squeezing under the door, Minsc (and Boo) quickly sought out a place to observe without being observed. "Where do you think the giant would keep the Golden Harp... the Golden Harper. Yes, yes, Boo, Minsc should really try hard to remember that."
With that, the pair heard:
"Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum,
I smell...
(Why am I saying this? The only smells are coming from that infernal amusement pit.)
VICONIA!"
The giant's wife came rushing in. From the look on her face, it was clear what she had on her mind. "Yes, my husband? Perhaps now you are ready to allow me to show you the drow art of..."
Cutting her off, the giant thundered, "The only thing I desire now is sleep. (Perhaps I should not have lit the fire under her.) Fetch me my Golden Harp!"
Snickering, the giant's wife replied, "Need I remind you, you had the Golden Harp melted down for one of your experiments. Something about turning gold into turnips, I believe."
"Never mention that again! So what shall I do to soothe me now?" the flustered giant queried.
"Well, there is always the option of the drow art of..."
"Take a cold shower, will you please!"
"Very well, perhaps the Golden Harper will help." As the giant's wife left to fetch the item, she mumbled, "Although it is more likely to set you even more on edge. Continually complaining about 'balance' and 'nature's home'!"
From his hiding place, Minsc's eyes widened in amazement as he got the first glimpse of the Golden Harper. "Boo, have you ever seen anything so beautiful? Eh, yes my eyesight is just fine."
The giant, irritated from lack of sleep, commanded, "Play!"
"Nature could find a home here if it were properly cleansed and balanced." began the Golden Harper.
"Argh! No, play the harp! (These simians cannot follow the simplest of instructions without detailed explanation!)" an exasperated giant bellowed.
Glaring at the giant, the Golden Harper replied, "As you wish." for she could say no other, being under a geas. So, she began to play and sing. And such a noise, screeching and, well, it was beyond description.
However, Minsc said to Boo, "Have you ever heard such a lovely sound? What is that? Yes, my hearing is quite good, If it was not, I could not hear you, right?" And with that, Minsc went back to listening to the, er, music.
Evidently, the giant also found the efforts of the Goden Harper to be soothing, for soon he was sound asleep. Noting that Minsc was also asleep, Boo began chittering frantically.
Minsc's eyes popped open, and he declared, "Minsc was not asleep! Well, OK, maybe a little asleep. But we got up very early. What? Oh yes, the giant is asleep. We should go get the Golden Harp... oh, yes, the Golden Harper."
Minsc (and Boo) tiptoed across the floor to where the Golden Harper remained. Minsc, with his great strength, grabbed on to her and... couldn't budge her. "Minsc does not wish to be rude, but you are a little f... what is it, Boo? Oh, I should untie her from the chair leg? Yes, it would be much easier to lift her then."
Untieing the Golden Harper, Minsc was about to place her in his bag of holding, when she cried out, "Help me! I am out of balance! The balance must be maintained!"
"Oo, pretty lady, we must be quiet! We do not wish to wake..." But before Minsc could finish, they heard:
"Fee, Fie, Fo, Fum,
I smell the blood of a Faerûnian!
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones
To make my bread!
(And this time I am serious!)"
Minsc quickly deposited the Golden Harper into the bag and bolted for the door. The giant, not far behind, was in danger of quickly overtaking Minsc with his extra-long strides. But Minsc, with his great ranger stealth and a hastily downed potion of speed, managed to make it to the beanstalk well ahead of the giant. Minsc (and Boo) quickly climbed down and found a very angry Dynaheir waiting.
"What is thy explanation for this? We were to set out this morning to continue thy dajemma and thou hast continued this fantasy!" Dynaheir angrily awaited his reply.
"But again Minsc has proof that this is no fantasy!" he announced triumphantly. And with that, he reached into the bag of holding to produce the Golden Harper. "I still think she could lose a few... yes, Boo, Minsc will not finish that."
Placing the Golden Harper on the ground before Dynaheir, the Golden Harper began to speak, "What have you done? Speak! I would know why you have done this. Unless I am returned to that despicable giant, I will slowly die! Unless..."
Minsc said in alarm, "Minsc does not wish the pretty lady to die. But I cannot take you back to the evil giant!"
"The only way to release me from his service is his scroll of reversal, Or killing him. Whichever comes first. But it must be done quickly. Forgetting the fact that the giant is already beginning to descend the beanstalk as we speak, my ability stats are getting lower and lower."
"Then Minsc must act quickly! It is good I am still hasted from the potion. But another trip up the beanstalk? Minsc does not think he can fight so well clinging to it. And I do not think my arrows will go that far." Minsc's mind was racing as he considered possibilities. "What is that, Boo? Cut down the beanstalk? That is a very good idea! SWORD, MEET THE BEANSTALK!"
Minsc began hacking away at the beanstalk as fast as he could, which was pretty fast considering he was still infuenced by the potion. Dynaheir, wishing to end this foolishness once and for all, aided Minsc by casting blade barrier and then standing close to the beanstalk. Between the two, the beanstalk began falling before the giant was halfway down.
As the beanstalk fell, the giant could be heard saying, "Why is it these monkeys develop an intelligent thought at the..." The rest of what the giant might have said will remain a mystery as he hit the ground with a gigantic thud. (What other kind of thud would a giant make?)
Minsc kicked at the giant while Boo sniffed him out. Scurrying back to the security of Minsc's tunic, the pair agreed the giant was indeed dead. At that moment, the Golden Harper lost her golden hue.
"J-j-jaheira? There you are! I've been so worried about you!" a young half-elf warrior said as he hurried over to where the Golden Harper, er, Harper stood.
"Khalid?" queried the Harper. "Well I am glad this ordeal is over. At least we were not mugged and dragged to Amn where I was caged and you were..." She shuddered and didn't finish the thought.
Khalid smiled at her and stated, "We should be on our way. We are to meet Gorion and his ward at Friendly Arms Inn." Thanking Minsc and suspiciously eyeing Boo, the pair set off down the road.
In the meantime, villagers had started to gather, most thanking Minsc for their deliverence from the giant. However, there was one very agitated woman yammering at Minsc that her husband would never be the same, although the gold would come in very handy.
Dynaheir strode over to Minsc, and, placing a hand on his shoulder, asked, "Art thou ready to continue thy dajemma now? We need to get the chicken to his master and if we start now, we can still make it to Beregost before sunset."
"Minsc did good here, yes? Rangers and hamsters everwhere will rejoice. What, Boo? Yes, I can say it that way. HAMSTERS AND RANGERS EVERYWHERE REJOICE!"
Dynaheir and Minsc (and Boo) set off down the road wondering what further adventures awaited them. Little did they know they would be ambushed by gnolls, leaving Melicamp stranded yet again and Dynaheir a prisoner. But that, my friend is another story.
THE END