The Gospel According to Pirengle

[Pirengle]

HOW TO WRITE[/u]

Don’t write on the forum. It looks easy to compose while you’re staring at a “post entry” screen. It’s better to compose your works in Word or Wordperfect. First, if your computer craps out, word processing programs tend to have autosaves to protect against power shortages and random blue screens. Second, you can spellcheck your writing, which will make people love your work all that much more. And third, you can save what you’re working on and return to it later. You can’t do that in a post entry screen unless you actually post your work, which may not be the best thing to do at that stage of the writing process.

Don’t worry about anything when you’re writing. Don’t read back at what you’ve written while you’re still writing it. Keep typing, and let your thoughts flow. Reading back breaks your concentration because you start to nitpick. Nitpick later. Get your thoughts out now. Write what you think sounds good, and don’t ask yourself how it might look or sound. Gut instincts drive the writing process.

Take a waiting period. Wait at least a day before tweaking your story or segment or whatever. Giving the idea a day to percolate will help refocus your thoughts when you edit. When you’re in the groove, you might overlook errors. With a clear head, you can see problems and plot holes better now that the rush to create is mostly over.

It’s rude to leave them hanging. Real-life always comes before the Internet, but if you post a serial, try to post on it regularly. Putting up fifteen parts of a sixteen-part story then disappearing for a few months frustrates readers to no end.

It’s okay to post in parts. Suppose your grand epic isn’t going as planned. It’s perfectly all right to post what you have and ask for advice on where to go next. Quite often, critiques will give you ideas on where to go or how to fix segments so the story flows smoothly. However…

…Finish the job whenever possible. Try to complete one story before tackling the next. Be tidy--store your half-done drafts on your hard drive and show everyone your edited rough drafts.

Nothing is ever final. I’m still working on stories I wrote five years ago. A change of pace and a change of scene can improve your story. There is never a be-all and end-all, especially with fanfic.

HOW TO EDIT[/u]

Edit before you post. Proofread, proofread, proofread! Capitalize proper nouns and beginnings of sentences. Put periods at the end of your sentences. Put apostrophes on possessives and contractions. Use commas to separate dependent clauses and semicolons or dashes to separate independent clauses. Put in a paragraph when introducing a new speaker, action, or idea. Use a significant line break to show a scene change (I call them “jump cuts”); a few asterisks can show this. Make sure your verbs are all in the same tense. Knock out helping verbs with stronger verbs whenever possible. Knock out the passive voice whenever possible. Clearly differentiate between spoken dialogue and mental dialogue--the best way to do this is to show spoken dialogue in quotes (“”) and mental dialogue in italics.

SPELLCHECK. This one gets its own blurb. I prefer a mediocre story with good spelling and grammar to a well-written story with terrible spelling and horrific grammar. I don’t care how great it might be if I can’t get past the spelling. This goes for Forgotten Realms terms as well as existing languages. Do us all a favor, download Infinity Explorer, and make sure you’ve spelled Suldanessellar correctly. You’ll just look silly if you’re writing about the elven city you can’t even spell.

Follow forum guidelines before you post. If your story contains a scene with Jan getting amorous with a turnip, make sure your readers know there’ll be some hortosexual situations in your story. A simple blurb at the top of the page or even in the subject line will suffice. If the forum is iffy on tuber titillation, send your story to a moderator before posting it. Chances are, if the story’s good, the moderator will let you post it, root romance aside. Some forums have strict rules about what gets posted, so make sure you’re okay to post.

HOW TO CRITIQUE[/u]

Respond to your criticism. Even with a simple “thank you”. It shows that you read the critique that someone put time and effort into writing.

Remember, it’s only criticism. The people who read your story did not write your story. Their opinions are subjective to their perceptions. A story that glitters like diamonds to some may smell like crap to others. Not everyone may appreciate the genre you write in, the characters you write about, or even the plot you create. However…

…think about what people say. If only for a little bit. If something reads crystal clear to you that nobody else seems to understand, maybe that part needs fixing. If people are pulling a totally different meaning out of a particular passage, either rewrite it to make it convey the intended meaning or emphasize the bent that other people point out. Good constructive criticism shows the author possible problems and possible ways to fix those problems. Even if you don’t agree with the critique (or the critiquer for that matter) acknowledge the fact that the person tried to help.

Always try to say something positive about the writing. This doesn’t mean saying it has good spelling. Pick out a particular character or scene that you like and say that you liked and, more importantly, why you liked it. It’s useful to the author to know what it is about a particular something that makes people like it.

Find something that needs work. No story is perfect. Even saying what you didn’t like about the story and why you didn’t like it helps. Or, you can recommend possible ways to fix an obvious plot hole or make a character’s dialogue fit better. Anyone can point out the bad stuff; only a good critiquer can help make the bad stuff better.

Read the critique thread before posting your own critique. Chances are, somebody’s already said what you’re going to say, and why should the author hear about it twice? That being said, there’s no harm done in agreeing with someone else’s critique. If several people have the same problems with the same story, that gives the author a stronger impression of what’s not working with the piece, and hopefully with their powers combined, the critiquers can summon Captain Planet. Or, in this case, a better solution for the writer’s story problems.

Don’t be afraid to post a negative critique. If the writer didn’t want people to critique his/her story, then he/she shouldn’t have posted in public. And not everyone is enamored with your work. Take it in stride. Some forums have “never a rude word” clauses where, in order to avoid fights, negative critiques are not allowed. Hogwash. Writers need criticism to improve; otherwise, they’re just making the same mistakes over and over again. If someone objects to your negative criticism because you aren’t googly-eyed over the story in question, make sure that your comments are justified. If they are, raise a (mature) stink. If they aren’t, apologize.

Critique the writing, not the writer. If you find your critique degrading into name-calling, don’t post it. Wait until you can separate the author from his/her work before finishing.

It’s okay to disagree. You don’t have to agree with every critique, whether it’s about your writing or someone else’s. Nevertheless, treat that person with respect and disagree with the comments, not the person who wrote them.

Don’t be facetious. Nothing pisses me off more than public spite or sarcasm. Don’t rub anybody’s nose into the fact that they suck, or that they spelled Firkraag wrong, or that you feel the aching need to rip the metal pole out of their ass so they’ll loosen up. If you don’t like the author, and can’t look past that dislike to fairly critique the work, save yourself the embarrassment and don’t post at all. At least, don’t post any of this on the forum. Take it to a private message or a chatroom where memories are short and few people can see.

[Pirengle]

THE TYPES[/u]

Types of stories. This is in no way a definitive list, but it touches on the major genres out there, both common and fanfic-specific. All the examples use BG2 content.
--alternate: Stories that pose a “what if?” question to the canon (the game content considered as facts). Alternate stories usually deal with huge plotlines, but not always. A story where another Bhaalspawn came to power in the city of Baldur’s Gate instead of Sarevok or Irenicus didn’t exist would be considered an alternate history story. A story where a Teleportation accident transported a party not to their intended location but to another plane where everyone carried daggers and wore goatees would be considered an alternate universe story.
--crossover: Sticking characters from the game universe into another universe, or transplanting characters from another universe into a game universe. The Knights of Solamnia are a good example of an in-game crossover, bringing characters from the Dragonlance universe into the Forgotten Realms universe, but another example of a crossover would be the crew of the Starship Enterprise appearing at the Five Flagons on an away mission, or Anomen and Keldorn duking it out in Scotland, proving that there can be only one. Crossovers are different from alternates universes, because in alternates that universe still follows the same rules. Think of it as jumping planes of existence--everyone’s still on the d20 system. Crossovers can go into any different genre--does the d20 system really exist in the Highlander world? Not really.
--big evil: Basic kind of story. There is some big evil going on. Hero (or heroes) fix the big evil. Everything is happy. The end. Bland and boring, but easy to write.
--exploration: This kind of story delves into a character’s background, fleshing out a canonical incident or creating a reason why a character acts a certain way. Often told in flashbacks. A story about Khalid and Jaheira’s marriage that explains her hesitancy about a relationship with <CHARNAME> is an exploration story.
--flashback: A story where events from the past impinge on events in the future. The story is often split between action in the present and action in the past.
--adventure: Remember the Limited Wish scroll, and the “I want an adventure like no other” wish? Pretend the author of an adventure story grants that wish. Adventure stories have a party go on an adventure that isn’t part of the canon, usually set between two adventures that are. If a party goes to an ancient dwarven mine while on their way to Umar Hills and finds a lycanthrope lair there, it’s an adventure story. Generally these stories focus on action rather than character development.
--soliloquies: These stories are the opposite of adventure stories. The focus here is on what the character thinks, usually a big decision the character has to make. Soliloquy stories have little action and few characters.
--slash: Originally known as a story centered around sex with two men, canonical or not, the definition now covers any story featuring explicit sex between characters. (The explicit bits are often known as “lemons” when it’s a male/male homosexual relationship and “limes” when it’s a female/female homosexual relationship, although that terminology’s morphing as well.)
--parody and satire: People have a hard time telling these two apart. Parody, also known as spoof, is a humorous but strict adaptation of a specific work, while satire is a witty and biting criticism of a social problem or common flaw.

Types of characters. Again, this isn’t the definitive list, just the basic dramatis personae. Based off BG2.
--protagonist: The hero of the story. Not always the main character.
--antagonist: The anti-hero or villain of the story. Not always the main character.
--major character: Any character the story spends a lot of time developing or focusing. The protagonist/antagonist is often a major character.
--minor character: Any character the story gives a name and multiple appearances. Usually affects the plot somehow, and this separates minor characters from bit characters.
--bit characters: Also known as red-shirts. (Remember the guys in red shirts from the Star Trek series who went on away missions, spoke a handful of lines, then got killed?) Bit characters are minor characters who appear for a few scenes, have a few lines, and are never seen again. They have a purpose, usually polishing a bar or hawking their wares. The best way to identify a bit character is their name, or lack of one. Naming a character, no matter how small, gives them important. But throwaway, disposable bit characters rarely have names.
--stars: People who aren’t part of the canon but are the focus of the story. While <CHARNAME> is widely accepted as canon (as he/she is written into the game), the close companion or constant villain that isn’t part of the canon yet plays a major role in the story is considered a star. Stars that appear in more than one story become recurring characters.
--recurring characters: Non-canonical characters that appear in more than one story by the same author, no matter what their importance.
--love interest: A major or minor character in love or in a relationship with another major or minor character.
--Cait Sith: Remember this character from Final Fantasy 7? Cute as a button, a little irritating, and didn’t do anything important for the longest time? Picture Keladrey from Bri’s story (can’t remember the name) and you’ve got yourself a Cait Sith.

Fanfic terminology. Yes, it has its own jargon. Yes, it’s based off BG2 as well.
--canon: Anything presented in-game as written by Bioware/Black Isle, like Beeloo Jansen being Jan Jansen’s cousin, the de’Arnise Keep existing outside of Athkatla, things like that. Some things, like Anomen’s knighthood decision, are accepted as canon either way, provided the author follows LG or CN Anomen exclusively.
--fanon: Anything added to the game following the canon. Mods like Kelsey or Ascension are good examples. Fanfic that builds on subjects or makes connections based on canon is also considered fanon.
--guest appearance: Also known as name-dropping or kudos, this is when the author inserts real-life information into the game to pay homage of sorts. In BG1, one of Sarevok’s cronies, Semaj, takes his name from one of the game’s production heads. The homage can be anything from a place name to a medical procedure, but guest appearances are usually names of bit characters.
--lemon: Intense and explicit male/male homosexual encounter.
--lime: Intense and explicit female/female homosexual encounter.

Mary Sue. This type gets its own category. A Mary Sue character is, essentially, the perfect character. The character always has the upper hand in every situation, and is only taken by surprise when it’s in the character’s benefit to do so (usually to land an exceptional blow or perfect riposte to somebody). If a character seems like he/she’s always in the right place at the right time, saying the right thing, chances are he/she’s a Mary Sue. (The male equivalent is a Gary Stu.) A Mary Sue can also be the author living vicariously through the character. If the character looks, acts, and sounds a lot like the author, it’s a good bet that character’s a Mary Sue, though it’s harder to judge. Sometimes, people confuse a non-canonical main character with a Mary Sue or Gary Stu. A sure sign of Mary Sueishness (is that even a word?) is lack of character conflict. Be warned: this is a highly insulting term. Use it sparingly, even if it is true.

The forum dynamics. Every writing forum I’ve ever known has had at least one of the following people as members or general hangers-around:
--The kind and benevolent soul who never posts a negative comment about anything or anyone.
--The exact opposite, the person who never has a nice thing to say about anything or anyone.
--Ao the Moderator
--People who post regularly, whether it’s their own work or critiquing the works of others. These folks are known as “regulars,” oddly enough.
--People who are on part 138 of the neverending fanfic story, where the work doesn’t follow the plot of the game or book or movie or whatever, but seems to follow the writer’s own fantasies.
--People who post jumbles of letters, numbers, pictures, and symbols, tend to be the forum mascot, and are like the easter egg random fluff characters in Final Fantasy games.
--People who write and never critique.
--People who critique and never write.
--People who think they’re God’s gift to some part of the writing process, have no humility whatsoever, and consider any critique to be a personal attack.
--People who enjoy flashing their credentials.
--Curmudgeons.
--And the strange person who appears once in a blue moon, posts a magnificent story or gives a righteous critique, and disappears back into the mists for weeks, months, or even years, and becomes a near-legendary creature.

Screw the forum dynamics. Don’t let the stereotypes faze you. If you’re serious about writing or critiquing, you visit the forum to do one, the other, or both, not to put up with some stupid pecking order. Challenge this authority whenever possible. If the going gets too rough, however, you might want to find a new forum. But if everyone knows that you’re bucking the system, and you don’t care how much flak you get by bucking the system, continue to write and critique as you please.

[Pirengle]

WAYS TO SPARK YOUR WRITING

Get your blah writing better with these tried-and-true methods.

Overdetail: It’s hard to put descriptions into your story. It’s much easier to pull out the extraneous ones during editing. While writing, go into extreme detail: sights, sounds, smells, furniture placement, light levels, etc. Later, during editing, use those extreme details to your advantage by adjusting their effects. The protagonist might not notice the shadowed alleyways while walking towards the Copper Coronet, but he/she’ll probably notice them when the street muggers are skulking about, looking for their next victim.

The movie version: When I write, I break my stories up into little movies and imagine them playing in my head as I type. Different locations become scenes. I imagine a camera focusing on those scenes, and characters within them. I switch to different scenes with different movie cuts, from fades (where one scene slowly transitions to another) to jumps (where one scene quickly transitions to another, usually with some similarity or ironic contradiction tying the two scenes together). It helps me uncover the plot and build suspense. Other writers use outlines, where they write down every event in chronological order, and work off that when creating their stories.

“Is this trip really necessary?”: Back in WWII America, when resources were strictly rationed, many railroad and bus terminals usually posted a sign saying “Is this trip really necessary?” The signs caused people to think about their planned excursions and if their trips were really worth the fuel and resources required for transportation. As a result, less unnecessary travel occurred. This same principle can be applied to your story. First, examine each scene. Is there any information in that scene that doesn’t contribute to the plot, major or minor? Is there a conversation that doesn’t establish characterization or plot-critical themes? If so, either add what that part needs to become one with the plot or chop out that part altogether. If it doesn’t add to the story, why is it weighing the story down?

hooks: These are devices that make characters keep reading. It’s meant to draw you into the action, make you concerned about what’s happening in the story. Plot hooks are teases. They tell the reader, “look at me! Am I not an interesting little tidbit? But you’re going to have to follow me if you want more…” Good plot hooks nip the reader by the collar and take the reader someplace, and the reader doesn’t mind being grabbed. Plot hooks are almost necessary when you start your story. Never start with descriptions. Give a bit of establishment (remember the “This is the city, Los Angeles, California” establishing shot from the Dragnet series?); follow it up with a bit of location (“We were working the daywatch out of homocide.”); hook the reader with a juicy tidbit (“We received a phonecall from the northside--shots fired at an abandoned warehouse, gunman seen with screaming baby.”); and a small bit of character description before we get the ball rolling (“My partner is Bill Gannon. My name’s Friday.”). This leaves the reader knowing that two LA detectives, Gannon and Friday, are investigating a possible murder. But why were the shots fired at a supposedly abandoned warehouse? Why was the gunman with a screaming child? Those small but tantalizing details make the reader want to know what’s going on, and as a result, be drawn to and interested with the plot.

twists: The best way I can think of to explain a plot twist is to use one from the game. Irenicus and Imoen disappear, taken by the Cowled Wizards. The Shadow Thieves have information on both, but instead of leading <CHARNAME> to their whereabouts, the organization asks for 20,000 gold pieces. When the party pays the fee, the Shadow Thieves reveal that Irenicus and Imoen are most likely in Spellhold, but instead of teleporting the party to Spellhold, Aran Linvail hires Saemon Havarian to take the party there. The party discovers Irenicus’ plans (in his “you warrant no villain’s exposition from me” villain’s exposition) and attempts to foil them, but instead of freeing Imoen, <CHARNAME> is tortured and the party is forced to run a maze then confront Irenicus. Instead of slaying him, Irenicus runs away. (Lame). The party looks for a way out, but instead of being able to travel back to the Athkatla area to follow up on the Suldanessellar hints, the party is forced to travel to the Underdark to get back to Athkatla or go with Saemon and end up in Sahuagin City and then the Underdark and then to Athkatla. (Same difference.) The party frees itself from its chapter-long detour, but instead of chasing down Irenicus and killing him once and for all, the party must first retrieve the means to chase down Irenicus, the Rhynn Lanthorn. Finally, the party is in Suldanessellar, but instead of chasing down Irenicus and killing him once and for all, they must find a way to break open the palace. And so on and so forth. Now, go back and find every “instead” in that long paragraph. Every clause that starts with “instead” is a direct plot path. But getting exactly where you want to go in a plot is boring, ne? So the plot makes an abrupt turn away from this direct path, in the form of a twist. This twist can be a roadblock (“you must do X before Y can happen”) or a “you’re not supposed to do this yet” moment (Irenicus’ lame runaway bit in Spellhold). But it’s twists like these that keep the reader frustrated just enough to make them want to read more.