A Tribute to the New Imoen.org Girl
Sadly, I really can't push past this vague impression of a scene, and can't particularly justify more effort than this, so I'm just going to throw these fragments out as a public domain exercise for those of you who are suffering through this dark patch of imoen.org limbo.
Behind Juniper, the door croaked open languidly, hesitantly.Damn. Imoen.
Juniper frowned and braced for the inevitable. Her sister could footpad her way past a finicky librarian with ESP. Imoen must want to be found. And that could only mean...
"Heya, Sis! I got a catalog for ya to look through!"
...that summer vacation was drawing to a close, and Imoen was selling faucets and plumbing supplies for book money.Again
The berserker was a notoriously hard sell, but Imoen, in typically unsinkable* fashion, persisted. Juniper had calmly and delicately tried to explain to her that Anomen's candy drive for the Order's orphan fund had ended in an all-out brawl that cost the knight four teeth and left Korgan with a compound femoral fracture. But Imoen was having none of it.
"C'mon, Korgan. You'll open up your pores! Once we dig out all those blackheads, anyway."
"Sacrifice me natural insulation? Are ye daft?" Korgan spat. "A man's crust is his last line o' defense, and I'll not be scrubbin' it away 'till me maker calls me to me final destiny."
He emphasized his point by pointing his elbow skyward and taking a good, hearty snort of his own armpit. Juniper felt her gorge rise, and Imoen gained a greenish tinge and wobbled slightly, but forged ahead regardless.
"Aw, you'll love it. There's so much more entertaining
you can do when you've got a clean home full of proper, high-quality indoor plumbing! And... and I really have a lot
of books to buy this semester! It's like these professors don't even care how expensive it is to take their class!"
Juniper sensed that Imoen was starting to sound just a bit desperate. After all, Korgan's idea of a solid evening's entertainment was to set two dogs on each other, then roast and eat the winner.
Imoen searched about the room for an ally. "Branwen! Tell him. Tell Korgan how that sauna you bought through me changed your life!"
The big blonde beamed from her nearby chair. "'Tis true, Korgan-boy! Changed my life! There's nothing in the world like a good, long steam with a boon companion."
Branwen licked her lips, settling back into a memory, then sat back up, board-stiff. "Where is that strapping elfie? It's been far too long since I've had a man sweaty and fatigued with naught but a towel between his dignity and unbridled bliss. Coran? Coran! Your time has come!"* - No pun intended, gentle readers.