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Miscellany, Inc. => Ensign First Class Blather => Topic started by: Bex on February 18, 2006, 11:56:37 AM

Title: From the internet to in person
Post by: Bex on February 18, 2006, 11:56:37 AM
This is inspired by a question Regullus asked.

I've met a friend I made on the internet on several occasions, and we get along very well and have a good time together. He has had opportunities to meet numerous people in person that were originally internet aquaintances, and they have on the whole been pleasant encounters.

My other encounter with an internet friend was less pleasant, as he failed to recognize that I am happily married and was not interested in running away with him and starting my life over. He did also meet my husband, but just sort of... refused to acknowledge his existence. I no longer speak to this person.

Numerous meetings have gone on between various members of Planet Baldur's Gate, mostly Americans meeting other Americans and Europeans meeting other Europeans (due to financial constraints more than anything). On the whole, they have been successes. About 6 of our Dutch and Belgian members got together for a day last year, and I believe it was a dozen of the Americans who gathered in Las Vegas for a weekend in the fall. There is talk of doing a big meeting again.

I know PPG member meetings have occurred as well and look to have been enjoyable for all parties involved.

So, have you done it? Was it good for you? Would you do it again?

Also, if you are meeting someone you consider a friend, is that inherently more likely to be a successful venture than if you are meeting a potential romantic partner? It seems to me that it would be a lot less stressful.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Joe on February 18, 2006, 01:57:06 PM
i have only met one internet person in...person and she was my girlfriend for about two and a half years. I'd visit her in the summer and on Christmas break.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Evaine Dian on February 18, 2006, 02:01:02 PM
As I said, I've done it a couple of times. The very first person I met has been my boyfriend for the last 5 years now, so I would say it was good for me.  :)
Due to recent events, I don't know if I should do it again. If so, then I'll definitely make sure that I don't have to stay alone with that person in question and try to keep the meeting short, like only a weekend.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Jon on February 18, 2006, 02:18:52 PM
When I was in middle school I met this girl who lives in Florida. We were friends for a while, after a week I had a huuuuge crush on her (it's okay to say 'huuuuge crush' because we're talking about middle school) and, using my amazing charm and wit, told her, and she told me that she'd been hiding a crush on me for a while, too. We 'went out' for two and a half years, maybe three. Despite being half a country apart, it really was a great relationship, we broke up on very good terms, and are still friends today.

Have any of you ever tried eHarmony? I have, haha. I took the two-hour personality quiz (it proably wasn't really two hours, but it sure felt like it) and I can tell you the TV commercial doesn't lie; It was like reading an exact description of myself.

If you're wondering how I met Stacy (the Lady of Florida), I was just looking for someone to talk to via the Find a Buddy feature on AIM. I actually met quite a few people worth knowing on that thing. It's pretty much impossible now, though.

Love is in the aiiiiir :-*
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Andyr on February 18, 2006, 03:11:54 PM
I've met several other modders/IE-related people. We've all got on pretty well. :) (At least, I think so). It has been a while, though. Perhaps over Easter?

I haven't used the internet as a dating service or anything, though.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Kulyok on February 18, 2006, 03:25:31 PM
I haven't used the internet as a dating service or anything, though.

No? :)

But there is PROOF...

Quote
<SimDing0> I LOVE YOU ANDYR
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Eral on February 18, 2006, 03:53:08 PM
I met an Internet friend, when she came to my city for her work. We really enjoyed it. At first we were both a bit nervous about boring the other, but it was fun. In order to avoid a possible sexual attack, we made the meeting in a public place, with the expectation it would be for a hour or two. And we drank coffee, which also lessened the risk of one or the other of us behaving in an unseemly manner. Then we went and bought some ear-rings for her sister. (Most of the places I like to go for coffee have jewellry shops near them. And shoe shops. It's purely a coincedence. But Mr.FPS strangely becomes nervous when I say I'm going for coffee with a friend.)
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: glain on February 18, 2006, 04:45:10 PM
This past year, I took a couple of trips to see in-person friends I've met from PPG and FW, now SHS.  Each trip, one to England/Scotland and the other to Seattle (my old home), has granted me the ability to say that I have made life long friends that I completely adore.  Each has become dear to me and will forever remain that way, even if we don't talk as much as we use too.  (Damn that new job of mine! >:( ) 

I didn't go to make a love connection, just to finally meet the people I had become friends with and who had helped me through some very difficult times.   My family was very against the idea, (so was British customs) and I'll admit I was nervous meeting a few certain individuals, but my fears were for nothing. Everyone was great and had represented themselves exactly as they were in real life.

Course.... I am saddened that I never met Sim.  :'(
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Andyr on February 18, 2006, 05:41:14 PM
I haven't used the internet as a dating service or anything, though.

No? :)

But there is PROOF...

Quote
<SimDing0> I LOVE YOU ANDYR


I have not yet met the Ding0.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Evaine Dian on February 18, 2006, 06:29:56 PM
I haven't used the internet as a dating service or anything, though.

No? :)

But there is PROOF...



Indeed!  (http://www.final-exodus.net/~grim_squeaker/An%20Officer%20and%20a%20Gentleman.jpg)  Just with another partner. :)
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 18, 2006, 06:39:01 PM
Crossing over the threshhold?
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Andyr on February 18, 2006, 06:41:06 PM
I wondered if that one would come back to haunt me...

(Not the best of pictures, but yeah, it was a pretty good day. I think we were all even quite sober then.)
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 18, 2006, 06:42:09 PM
So cute.  ;D
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: fcm on February 18, 2006, 06:42:47 PM
I met one of my best friends through the intarweb. We've been friends now for about 6 years, even though he's always lived pretty far away from me. There was definitely attraction, but I just couldn't bring myself to start a relationship with someone who I'd never be able to see. It didn't seem fair for either of us. And then I met Justen.

We're still really good friends, though.

Other than that, the only invitations I get to meet prople face-to-face are generally through Myspace, and I know what those guys want -- and I am not biting. No way in hell. Some of them get really explicit, too. I mean, really explicit. I feel bad sometimes. You have to wonder whether someone who begs intenret strangers to  dom them have some kind of deep-rooted psychological disturbance.

So . . . internet meeting = generally scary for Layla.

I do want to meet up with my friend Kat sometime soon, but I know her from an artist community website. Not Myspace. Scary, scary Myspace.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: icelus on February 18, 2006, 06:49:58 PM
Got me on my knees, beggin' "darlin' please".
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Regullus on February 18, 2006, 07:12:18 PM
... and I'll admit I was nervous meeting a few certain individuals,

 Corvis?
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: fcm on February 18, 2006, 07:13:57 PM
Got me on my knees, beggin' "darlin' please".

I hate that song.  >:(
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 18, 2006, 07:14:30 PM
Got me on my knees, beggin' "darlin' please".
Since you're down there.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Joe on February 18, 2006, 07:19:25 PM
Since you're down there.

Oh yeah?
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 18, 2006, 07:21:32 PM
Make a gal happy.  :)
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Joe on February 18, 2006, 07:24:10 PM
Well that is the best part.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 18, 2006, 07:30:56 PM
I can't believe I said that. My face is flushed and red now.  :-X
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: glain on February 18, 2006, 07:45:52 PM
I wondered if that one would come back to haunt me...

(Not the best of pictures, but yeah, it was a pretty good day. I think we were all even quite sober then.)
Of course we were all sober... wasn't it around noon?  :P 

... and I'll admit I was nervous meeting a few certain individuals,

 Corvis?
Isn't everyone afraid of Corvis?  ;) 
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Joe on February 18, 2006, 07:51:33 PM
I can't believe I said that. My face is flushed and red now.  :-X

I refuse to believe you are embarassed.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 18, 2006, 07:56:57 PM
I am. In RL I'm pretty shy and not so forward especially when it comes to some topics.

Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Joe on February 18, 2006, 08:04:28 PM
Same here. But, as you can tell, on here I have no reservations. :D
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: jcompton on February 18, 2006, 08:17:31 PM
So, have you done it? Was it good for you? Would you do it again?

Sure, lots of times, and of course. Between pure socializing and work, and things like my Amiga Report experiences where I would go to trade shows and meet hundreds of people who knew me through my publications, I've met all sorts of people who I first encountered as an e-mail, chat session, board post, or phone call. I really can't offhand think of a single encounter I've had where I haven't gotten along at least as well with someone in person as I would with them online, with the occasional exception for people who have abrasive or otherwise unpleasant personal habits (or lack thereof) which aren't really apparent online. I guess expectations are a little lower when I meet a colleague instead of a friend, but the principles are basically the same, and, yeah, I don't see much downside.

Quote
Also, if you are meeting someone you consider a friend, is that inherently more likely to be a successful venture than if you are meeting a potential romantic partner? It seems to me that it would be a lot less stressful.

As I have been married roughly all of my life, this only really came up twice. The first, who was the first friend I ever made online, I knew had a boyfriend and was 2-3 years older than me (significant when you're, like, 12) so my expectations were pretty low anyway for any sort of serious hooking-up. It was a very brief meeting--a friend of mine decided that we should drop in on her since we were in the neighborhood, so it was all a very "Uh, hi. We were in the neighborhood. Gosh, this is awkward on a Sunday evening. See you around" affair, and she moved to Alabama or something like that not too long thereafter. I do idly wonder whatever became of her. She was my online "first." Sniff. (Hey, Samantha, if you're a BG2 fan by some chance, drop me an e-mail!)

The other was a girl who I had thought about getting serious with (after getting to know her better through meeting in person and such), but it never quite came together, but not for reasons that had anything to do with meeting in person. But we're talking about when I was 13-14, here. (So, okay, "local BBS scene" instead of "Internet.")

So, yes, I'm sure it's basically inherently easier to meet someone you're not actively fantasizing-about-with-intention-to-consummate, but that's basically true of meeting people no matter how you first came to know them, I'd say.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Veloxyll on February 18, 2006, 11:16:00 PM
I have met several e-people, it has gone reasonably well each time. I have more people meeting planned! So live in fear! You might be next!
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Alarielle on February 19, 2006, 08:15:32 AM
So far I have met...

Grim Squeaker  (obviously!)
Glain
Exodus/Seifer
Ceza
Dancer Fitz
Andyr

Yes, it was good and yes I would repeat the experience. :)

Quote
Also, if you are meeting someone you consider a friend, is that inherently more likely to be a successful venture than if you are meeting a potential romantic partner? It seems to me that it would be a lot less stressful.

Having experienced both, I'd say that is doesn't really make much of a difference.  That may be because I'm an inherently shy person anyway, I'm not really sure.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: SimDing0™ on February 19, 2006, 09:00:59 AM
Perhaps I'm not wise to the ways of the world, but I cannot help but suggest that finding romantic partners on the internet is probably quite prone to yielding creepy people. (Then again, any girl finding a romantic partner in person has a incredibly high non-zero chance of it being me, which is probably vastly more disturbing.)

I've never met a true "internet person". The closest I've come is chatting to friends of friends on MSN and then bumping into them some way or another. I haven't been to any of the G3 meeting thingies because they're always a long way away and trains confuse me.

I think I'm shy in person. Nobody else does though.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Bons on February 19, 2006, 10:45:59 AM
I haven't met any modding people in person, but I've encountered twenty or so people from another fandom that I first met online. Some became very close friends that I'll vacation with, while others I discovered I had absolutely nothing in common with beyond liking the same TV show. Then there's the gal who got scary drunk, trashed her hotel room and wanted other people to carry her pot stash through airport security -- she was much more fun over the Internet.

I have a really hard time considering anyone I've only interacted with online as anything but a friend. I think a romantic relationship requires a physical presence where friendship does not, and my brain can't make that leap without it: eye contact, body language, the intimacy of interacting with a person in real life day-to-day situations that aren't stripped or sanitized through a chatroom, e-mail, telephone line or webcam.

I know a few couples who wound up marrying after meeting online. One woman was already married, took her husband along to meet the guy she'd been chatting up over the Internet, then had an affair and asked for a divorce before the visit was through. Next thing I know, she's telling me she's moving to Canada, leaving her kids behind, and she'd known before she'd planned the trip that she'd found "true love." Maybe I'm cynical, maybe I'm unimaginative, but her actions and mindset are alien to me. Internet romance: I don't get it.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: icelus on February 19, 2006, 10:51:47 AM
I have only met Domi in person.  We ate enchiladas and fought construction.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 19, 2006, 03:58:23 PM
I hate people, I have no desire to meet anyone.  :)
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Jon on February 19, 2006, 05:55:23 PM
I hate people, I have no desire to meet anyone.  :)

All you need is love.  :)
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Regullus on February 19, 2006, 07:14:43 PM
... and I'll admit I was nervous meeting a few certain individuals,

 Corvis?
Isn't everyone afraid of Corvis?  ;) 

 I think so, yes.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Jon on February 19, 2006, 07:22:04 PM
I think Corvis is simply a frustrated, misunderstood human being who just needs a hug.

I love you, Corvis :-*
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Alarielle on February 20, 2006, 03:01:52 AM
I know a few couples who wound up marrying after meeting online. One woman was already married, took her husband along to meet the guy she'd been chatting up over the Internet, then had an affair and asked for a divorce before the visit was through. Next thing I know, she's telling me she's moving to Canada, leaving her kids behind, and she'd known before she'd planned the trip that she'd found "true love." Maybe I'm cynical, maybe I'm unimaginative, but her actions and mindset are alien to me. Internet romance: I don't get it.



I completely agree on the internet romance front.  Despite the fact that I ended up dating someone from PPG (totally unintended, honest) I wouldn't say that internet romance is generally a good idea.  I can't quite understand how anyone could begin or hope to sustain a relationship based entirely in the ether of the interweb - meeting the person really does matter.
Maybe, like you, I'm just cynical, but I don't see how people can be all "oh, I'm so in love" when they may not even know what their 'partner' even looks like.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Veloxyll on February 20, 2006, 06:48:39 AM
Pfft! So superficial Alar!
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 20, 2006, 07:48:15 AM
I think Corvis is simply a frustrated, misunderstood human being who just needs a hug.

I love you, Corvis :-*
He needs to jerk off more often than he may be a happy camper.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 20, 2006, 07:49:09 AM
I hate people, I have no desire to meet anyone. :)

All you need is love. :)
LMAO!
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Grim Squeaker on February 20, 2006, 05:31:39 PM
I know a few couples who wound up marrying after meeting online. One woman was already married, took her husband along to meet the guy she'd been chatting up over the Internet, then had an affair and asked for a divorce before the visit was through. Next thing I know, she's telling me she's moving to Canada, leaving her kids behind, and she'd known before she'd planned the trip that she'd found "true love." Maybe I'm cynical, maybe I'm unimaginative, but her actions and mindset are alien to me. Internet romance: I don't get it.



I completely agree on the internet romance front.  Despite the fact that I ended up dating someone from PPG (totally unintended, honest) I wouldn't say that internet romance is generally a good idea.  I can't quite understand how anyone could begin or hope to sustain a relationship based entirely in the ether of the interweb - meeting the person really does matter.
Maybe, like you, I'm just cynical, but I don't see how people can be all "oh, I'm so in love" when they may not even know what their 'partner' even looks like.

Agreed.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: chipsex on February 20, 2006, 06:49:29 PM
I've only met 3 or 4 people that I first talked to on the Internet and I liked all of them. Then again there is that "Honeymoon" aspect to any relationship in which everyone, well OK almost everyone, is putting his or her best foot forward. Sometimes it takes a while to know a person. Then there are those who marry and never learn just who the spouse is supposed to be.  ;)
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 20, 2006, 07:24:37 PM
I have met one that i did not know before I came online and knew two of the others intimately before we hung out online.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: fcm on February 20, 2006, 11:37:03 PM
Chipsex, I thought that "never" was a link, and I was all: "YES! A HUMOUROUS PICTURE OF BRITTNEY AND KEVIN!111!1!!1"

I am very disappointed in you.




edit:
Hahaha. I called him "Brian." What I meant to say was K-Fed, obviously. I'm so out of it. My boyfriend and I usually just stick to calling him Douchebag McGee, so . . .
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: NiGHTMARE on February 21, 2006, 05:26:54 AM
A guy who's now one of my best mates was originally someone my brother came into contact with on-line.

I've also been to one G3 meeting so far (IIRC it was me, Andyr, Grim, Seifer and Idobek), which was fun.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Rodman49 on February 21, 2006, 11:33:17 AM
Typically I don't meet in person with most of my mod staff, considering most of them are Europeans; but I do talk on the phone to them occasionally, usually its about website developments, or urgent news - like how we got invited to a few meetings by Sony Europe.

Supposedly a few guys on my staff are trying to meet up in Amsterdam, which ought to be a interesting, I can just see half my staff arrested for causing drunken riots.

As for the dating discussion that seems to pervade this topic, I thought most females considered meeting people on the net as kind of "sketch" and thus avoided it; heck, the girls in my dorm view people who start messaging them from their facebook accounts as largely suspicious and avoid such people.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Ashara on February 21, 2006, 03:33:27 PM
I met five people from the community in person and it was great fun :) I would gladly repeat the experience. As for internet romances, I am not sure I am a believer in that, though it works for some people.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 22, 2006, 08:15:49 AM
There are some people I would love to meet. Trust me.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: chipsex on February 22, 2006, 01:37:33 PM
Quote
Chipsex, I thought that "never" was a link, and I was all: "YES! A HUMOUROUS PICTURE OF BRITTNEY AND KEVIN!111!1!!1"

Is that that movie I hear you can buy on the internet?  ;D
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Jon on February 22, 2006, 05:49:35 PM
I thought it was a link too!
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Evaine Dian on February 25, 2006, 12:59:51 PM
The funniest thing I've heard of is still an online proposal, based on a weeklong online-only relationship, of course. Obviously such people have serious problems in RL.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Joe on February 25, 2006, 02:16:16 PM
My "online romance" works well enough. I have been with my girlfriend for more than two years. I see her on Christmas and in the summer time. Summers I usually stay for a month and for a week during Christmas time.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Dark Raven on February 25, 2006, 06:59:24 PM
The funniest thing I've heard of is still an online proposal, based on a weeklong online-only relationship, of course. Obviously such people have serious problems in RL.
Weirdos if you ask me.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Celissa on February 25, 2006, 11:54:02 PM
I've met up with quite a few people I first knew online, typically from various MUDs (anyone play those anymore?).  I count a number of them as close friends still, and did end up falling in love with someone I first met over the 'net.  We've been together for almost four years now, and living together for three and a half.  I knew him for a good four or five years before that as an online friend, however, so we had a good deal of time to make sure that this relationship really was what we wanted.  I do wish I'd been single the first time I met him in person instead of living with this other girl that I'd met off the net..she turned out to be a touch on the loony side, something I unfortunately didn't see until we were out of our 'honeymoon' phase, if you will. :P

So yeah, meeting friends from internet communities is all well and good, but as far as romance goes, I think the ones that end up withstanding the test of time will have a very solid basis in friendship beforehand, much like most other more conventional successful romances.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: CORVIS TERRIBLE MOUNTAIN GOD on February 26, 2006, 10:55:48 AM
He needs to jerk off more often than he may be a happy camper.

If 22 hours a day isn't enough, I don't know what to tell you.

I've met up with quite a few people I first knew online, typically from various MUDs (anyone play those anymore?).

Plenty. Ever played Daedal Macabre? It has ruined me on pretty anything else, even though it has gone down hill a lot in the past few years.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Lu on February 26, 2006, 12:35:38 PM
Quote
If 22 hours a day isn't enough, I don't know what to tell you
  I know that I'm not allowed to address the guy, but can anyone correct him? It's 24 hours/day, not 22. So he must be losing 2 hours/day. Makes 730/year, kinda 15,000 hours/20 years. A whole lot of time to do what pleases you most, more often
  Dumb crap, as usual, I knows. Should log in not so often, but had hoped to find some new stuff on WEIDU. Sorry
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Grim Squeaker on February 26, 2006, 01:35:43 PM
Even Corvis needs to sleep.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: CORVIS TERRIBLE MOUNTAIN GOD on February 26, 2006, 06:22:32 PM
Even Corvis needs to sleep.

And hydration.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: Bex on February 26, 2006, 10:56:12 PM
All that self-pleasuring would take a lot out of a man, wouldn't it?
Title: By my will, this thread shall die.
Post by: CORVIS TERRIBLE MOUNTAIN GOD on February 26, 2006, 11:20:18 PM
All that self-pleasuring would take a lot out of a man, wouldn't it?

A lot of semen.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: fcm on February 26, 2006, 11:34:27 PM
Oh God no!  :o

Semen only leads to DEER HUNTING.
Title: Re: From the internet to in person
Post by: icelus on February 26, 2006, 11:39:04 PM
http://forums.pocketplane.net/index.php/topic,21312.0.html