Pocket Plane Group
Miscellany, Inc. => Ensign First Class Blather => Topic started by: Ghreyfain on October 17, 2004, 06:08:16 AM
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So yes, here I sit in front of my computer at 4:57 a.m. preparing to go to work in another half hour or so. I am also in the middle of choking down a... well, I'm not sure what to call it. It's got a package of almond-flavoured tofu in there, a banana, a good dose of blueberries and strawberries, and some sort of mango/pineapple/orange juice I had in the fridge.
A sissy drink, for sure, yeah? That's what I thought, too, and where am I going with this? Not sure, but anything with that much protein in it can't possibly be for wusses. It's like a futuristic, scientifically engineered, super-condensed space drink.
I don't think I can properly explain this in words alone. That's why god invented pseudo-math.
Science! > Sissy (naturally)
Super energy capsules/drinks/etc. = Futuristic sci-fi, and futuristic sci-fi != sissy, either.
Tofu = Weird sludge stuff, a common appearance for super energy sci-fi gunk
So if Sissy can't = Science! and Sci-fi is basically Science! with costumes and adventure and plots that can be finished in an hour and stuff, then I see no possible way that Tofu Gunked Together With Fruits and Suchlike Scientriffic Things can be considered to = Sissy.
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don't get all second-guess defensive on us - just chug that powersludge of potency with complete confidence in yr sci-manhood!
*somehow-very-cerebral supportive grunts*
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This is a whole new debate: is tofu wussy and sissy? Is it up there with quiche?
I always thought it was deeply suspect to say the least- and that vegetarians only ate it as a bizarre form of self-flagellation. Then I discovered tofu stuffed with minced prawn, cooked in a hot-pot at the best Vietnamese restaurant in Preston/Northcote "Petite Saigon"(you should all go there), and have had to radically alter my view on tofu as inedible and the food of those who don't actually like eating.
On the other hand, I'm pretty sure my brother (who has a lot of fun using Neanderthal man as his role-model) would be fairly adamant that tofu is for sissies. My spouse is no use in this discussion, he still can't decide about quiche.
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he might need to research neanderthals a bit more if they're his role model. methinks cro-magnons would be the ones calling anything 'sissy'.
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Whichever one is the least developed would be the one he aims for.
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iirc neanderthals = higher WIS, CON and STR, CG tendencies
cro-magnons = higher INT and DEX, NE tendencies
'developed' is a relative term - if the cro-mags hadn't wiped out the neanders we might not have figured out so many layers of military application, but we might have actually attained a planetary survival infrastructure by now...
yes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the species pool... it's just such a big risk to hold the breath and dive through those tunnels...
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Tofu is all about sauce. Many foods are used as sauce-delivery vehicles anyway (see pasta) so really, it's not that unusual.
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getting flavor >into< tofu is more of a challenge, however. everybody*! share your secrets!
i've only gone the blatant route - fry in vinegar and/or soy/tamari. once soaked in bragg's, which is great for those of us who love the salty and/or the vegemite.
*anyone who doesn't question the merits of tofu, natch
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*makes mental note to send Ghrey some Omaha steaks, spaghetti sauce and cheesecake*
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*makes mental note to send Ghrey some Omaha steaks, spaghetti sauce and cheesecake*
Yeah we can't have a respected pirate such as Ghrey eating that sissy food! ;D
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In Reply to #1
Trying to figure out how you got through that whole post including a mathamatical formula to define the beverage, without naming the drink as a "smoothie". Some other ingredients that'll enhance such a bev: frozen berries; or 1 or 2 ice cubes blended in; and/or one spoonful of vanilla icecream.
Tofu cutlets on the grill, also good and non-siss. preperation (fire!!), lightly blackened with grill marks. Start w/ basic unflavored firm tofu block, cut into 1/2 inch steaks. To enhance marinade uptake, squeeze the tofu (between 2 plates, or with a towel), then place it in your braggs/soy/garlic/spices. Interestingly 10 minutes is long enough to marinate, it won't absorb much more if you leave it longer.
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Forget about Tofu, eat Tempeh! Much tastier, although I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for smoothies, might be a bit too chunky. :)
Just in case you don't know, Tempeh is a firm cake of partially cooked, fermented soy beans, coated with a mould culture. Okay I know that doesn't sound that appetizing but think about how a cheese like Camembert is made. Tempeh is great instead of meat in stir-frys, curries, BBQ etc. Marinated in Black Bean sauce and stir-fried with broccoli, mushrooms and Japanese noodles is one of my faves.
What's wrong with sissiness? Embrace your inner (or outer) sissy!! ;D
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I consider tofu a close relative of kung-fu.
Hence, ultra-non-sissiness.
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i never thought of tofu as a sissy food.... just thought of it as gross!
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yes, jc, I understand that NOW, having eaten said hotpot - but is it sissy? (It's interesting to find who eats tofu. We may need tags under the photos in the album.)
Cliffette, if the link between tofu and kungfu is the "u", you may be making a bit of a stretch. (Keep it up though, it's good mental exercise. And amusing for the rest of us.) I think that tofu is not yet proved to be non-sissy.
Colbruce, that is an interesting idea. A barbecue is inherently un-sissy. It's the domain of the conqueror of the outdoors, the provider bringing food to the tribe. Can tofu absorb that ambience? I have to say my dad would not ever place tofu on the sacred barbecue, but this is a man who is set in his ways. (And no-one else gets near the barbie when he's there.)
KIrving, you have proved to be a vegetarian, and I would like to refer you to my point about self-flagellation.(Mould? Partially cooked?That's not how you convert people.) All further comments of yours now have to be viewed with the knowledge of your bias in mind. (I think you should start a new thread -"disgusting things I readily eat"- it may be the all time winner thread.) :D
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I had a macrobiotics girlfriend, so I have experienced the ins and outs about tofu. :) Then she left me for another erm sissy and now all I am left with is a constant craving for Miso soup. (Oh wait, this is not the romance thread? Dang)
I like it a little spiced up, but not posing for meat or something. (Tofu with chicken flavour?Now that is gross. :( ) Perhaps this has been invented to bring peace to mixed partnerships/households.
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if the link between tofu and kungfu is the "u", you may be making a bit of a stretch.
i kinda figured it's the "fu". which signifies more than twice as much... :P
Perhaps this has been invented to bring peace to mixed partnerships/households
indubitably... and not a very impressive effort, i might add.
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First TO FU position die-hard carnivores have to learn: The Belching Crane
Perhaps they can help you here: http://www.shaolinwhitecranekungfu.com/
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They don't mention tofu. ??? I'm actually disappointed.
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I'm not feeling terribly encouraged by the way this conversation is going. Sure, kung fu is a bit above sissiness, but everyone KNOWS that pirates are way tougher than ninjas.
Then there's the whole "cooking tofu like a steak" thing; if I want a steak, I will eat a steak. What I want is a magic potion to restore lost CON, basically (and perhaps provide a temporary bonus to str/con. Does that sound unbalanced?)
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everyone KNOWS that pirates are way tougher than ninjas.
apparently not everyone knows that ninjas have precious little to do with kung fu. :pirate
Then there's the whole "cooking tofu like a steak" thing; if I want a steak, I will eat a steak. What I want is a magic potion to restore lost CON, basically (and perhaps provide a temporary bonus to str/con. Does that sound unbalanced?)
not unless ALL of your stats were already at racial max... :-yin
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I'm not feeling terribly encouraged by the way this conversation is going. Sure, kung fu is a bit above sissiness, but everyone KNOWS that pirates are way tougher than ninjas.
Think of it this way, Ghrey. You're *eating* kung-fu's relatives. That's hardcore.
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I don't think tofu is sissy at all, in fact I think it takes a great amount of courage to eat it. :pirate
*goes to stand behind the cowardly lion*
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I like tofu.
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Well, there went your argument Ghrey...
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Tofu needs to be treated like tofu, it's a terrible meat substitute. But when it's treated right, it's soooo yummy. Nothing is a better sauce vehicle. Breaded tofu with peanut sauce is one of my favorite foods.
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STICK MEN CAN BE BADASSES, TOO, YOU KNOW.
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I'm a lover, not a fighter.
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What sort of thac0 progression do you get?
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Not too good, but I got Grand Mastery in whips and flails.
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Including the bonus attacks/round?
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Are you trying to make a pass at me, Mr. Fain?
If so, come round later and maybe I'll show you.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just because I said I liked tofu doesn't mean I'm going to start a nuclear war with you.
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Is ToFu something like TuTu?
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i have actually witnessed my son eating a tofu sandwich.... plain raw sliced tofu on white bread with mayo. it was enough to turn me off tofu for the rest of my life. and turn my stomach too
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yeah, it allows you to use the kung fu style on the original tofu content. so if you use the kung fu engine it helps to start to de-sissy-fy. but you cant fully de-sissy-fy the tofu cos thats not supported. however if you are a bit of a ninja you can pull some unsupported kungfu moves and become a non-sissy neanderthal, but i dont know if thats compatible with the sci-fi. i guess if you're enough of a pirate you could always mod the kung fu... :P :pirate ;) :D ;D 8) CONFUDDLED? ;D
Shnurple
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i have actually witnessed my son eating a tofu sandwich.... plain raw sliced tofu on white bread with mayo. it was enough to turn me off tofu for the rest of my life. and turn my stomach too
that should be a new power of good clerics. evil clerics can turn paladins, so why can't good clerics turn stomachs? Anomen can already do it
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How about we all post some manly tofu recipes? Then we can all try them and decide, once and for all, just how sissified our curdish pal really is.
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*sigh* someone always has to have a logical answer... :P
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I just feel that this is a very serious issue, one that has the potential to split the community into rival To-Factions. This can only be solved by a very detailed and organized process, where Science! will eliminate any further doubt.
It's our duty.
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Tofu is sexy.
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OK. Let's see some sexy(!) and/or manly tofu receipes. (Though swapping receipes is not exactly manly. And we may invalidate our findings by indulging in sissy behaviour to obtain results. Did Oppenheimer have this many problems?)
I plunk strongly for barbecued tofu, with lemon, squeezed by eight Greek uncles and nephews.
(I know you prefer steak Ghrey, but we are trying to establish sissiness here. Do you want to see To-Factions? Perish the thought.)
If it was breaded or crumbed as well( a la Neriana's suggestion) this may make it even more unsissy. (Crumbed/breaded things are very ocker - hence manly. If your chances of having a heart attack increase because you eat it, it's super-manly. I don't know if this can apply to tofu, though. Perhaps if we used a lot of egg, with the bread crumbs.)
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Think of it as more exchanging tales of heroic exploits against the evil forces of Bad Food
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oh, crap, melkor's back again. ;) time for me to get my own picture finagled out. :-[
@julwise - finally. 8) i was hoping i wasn't alone in noticing the appeal of Silken Firm.
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@Andyr: I'm a lover, not a fighter. sweet :)
@Melora: Anything with Mayo is gross.
@icelus:
http://www.tofu.com/recipes.html
In the introduction to this recipe in her cookbook This Can't Be Tofu!, Deborah Madison writes "in about 15 minutes you can go from looking at a carton of tofu to sitting down to a savory hot sandwich. What's inside it? Sautéed onions and mushrooms covering golden tofu." (Note: This recipe calls for Worcestershire sauce, which ordinarily contains anchovies. Vegetarian Worcestershire sauce is available in healthfood stores and some grocery stores.)
INGREDIENTS:
* 1 carton firm tofu, drained
* 2 teaspoons olive oil
* 2 to 3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
* Salt and fresly ground black pepper
* 1 large red or yellow onion, cut into 1/4-inch slices
* 4 big mushrooms, sliced as thick as the onions
* 8 slices bread
* Mustard and horseradish
PREPARATION:
Slice the tofu crosswise into 8 pieces, slightly less than 1/2 inch thick. Set them on paper towels and blot. Don't worry about the tofu getting really dry. It will dry as it cooks.
Heat a large cast-iron skillet.
Brush with 2 teaspoons of the oil and add the tofu. Cook over medium-high heat until golden, about 6 minutes on each side. Douse with the Worcestershire sauce and turn the tofu once. Continue frying until the sauce is absorbed and the tofu is laced with a fine glaze. Turn off the heat and season well with salt and plenty of pepper.
While the tofu is cooking, place a 10-inch skillet over high heat and add the remaining oil. Add the onion and mushrooms. Sauté until seared and nicely browned, 5 to 7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.
Toast the bread or not, as you wish. Cover with mustard and horseradish (fresh tomatoes and mayonnaise would be good here as well), add the toful slices, top with the onions, close, press, and dig in.
the 'bad news' (have to dig it out though): (at testosterone nation :D) http://www.t-nation.com/findArticle.do?article=160stud
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15 minutes to make a sandwich? How the heck is that manly? That post was way too sissy for me to even finish reading.
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This takes less than 15 minutes. From various Molly Katzen cookbooks (she's the best):
Tofu
Heat a little canola or peanut oil in a small skillet. Cut firm tofu into 1/2-inch cubes and dust them lightly with cornstarch. When the oil is hot, fry the tofu cubes until very crisp.
Sweet and Sour Sauce
1/2 cup unseasoned rice vinegar
1/2 cup honey
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
Heat the vinegar until it is warm enough to melt the honey. (Takes less than a minute on medium heat.) Whisk everything together.
I've been told the sauce is pretty hot, though it's exactly the right heat for me. I usually stir fry veggies (takes 5 minutes) and cook some rice to go with it. The sauce is also great for dipping baby carrots.
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From various Molly Katzen cookbooks (she's the best):
i'm drooling everywhere today. :-X yum... the goddess of moosewood strikes again...
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Red pepper flakes meaning something other than red peppers, right? Habaneros, perhaps? Unless honey is supposed to be spicy and Canadian bees are just strange.
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even in the boons of calgary, surely one must be able to find little canisters of dehydrated red pepper seed/flakes. (although whether they're chili or bell was never made clear to me, tho i'd guess chili, since what hotness bells have is mostly in their membranes...)
perhaps in pizza parlours? have les canadiens taken to the custom of including shakers of cheese, redpep, and greens (basil et al) for individual post-oven customization?
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15 minutes to make a sandwich? How the heck is that manly? That post was way too sissy for me to even finish reading.
Inspired by this thread, I made my first attempt ever at cooking tofu today. My recipe also takes longer than 15 minutes, but it contains beer and turnips and is thereby manly by definition. Here we go:
1 piece (or should that be 'block'? 'chunk'? 'glob'? Yes, I think 'glob' comes pretty close) of tofu
1-2 onions (I used red onions, because I like them. If you're too manly to eat anything that's red, any kind of onion should do)
1 turnip (Your manly instincts may tell you to use the largest turnip you can find, but go for a small one if you can. It's not the size, it's what you do with it. And the large ones tend to be dry and don't taste very well)
2-3 portobello mushrooms (you can probably use any kind of mushroom, as long as it's not poisonous. Some mushrooms are illegal, though)
1 bottle of beer (I used "McCallum's Stout", because I'm a sucker for phrases like "Since 1762" and "Hand crafted in Scotland". It would probably make more sense to use something cheap, since it's going to be boiled with the rest of the stuff anyway. I should probably take another look at the bottle to see if it really says "hand crafted", too, because that doesn't make any sense to me. Unless Scottish brewers brew beer in their cupped hands. Which would probably be very manly, but not very hygienic)
a handful of rice noodles (or more, if you have small hands. Or if you like noodles)
garlic
soy sauce
powdered chili
Cut the tofu into pieces (with a cutlass, if you have one, because pirates are way cool. An ordinary knife will also do) and soak them (the pieces, not the pirates) in soy sauce (with added garlic) for a while. Realize that you're going to need some kind of pot or pan to cook the tofu in, and spend up to five minutes finding one. Heat oil (Yeah, I didn't say you were going to need oil, but I'm sure you'll manage. Olive oil is good. Other kinds of vegetable oil will do. Motor oil should only be used if you really don't have anything else) in the pot or pan (let's say it's a pan, because it was).
Put the tofu in the pan, and start slicing the onions, the turnip and the mushrooms. Find the powdered chili and realize that you should have used it already. Dump it into the pan when nobody is looking.
Add the onion slices, and start looking for a lid. When you've found the lid, add the turnip slices and put the lid on the pan. Wait. Add a bit of salt. Wait again. Add the mushrooms. Wait some more.
Open the bottle of beer, look at it longingly and then pour it into the pan. Remember to lift the lid first. Let the whole thing boil for about fifteen minutes. Stir vigorously, not because it's needed, but because looking at a pan for fifteen minutes is kind of boring. Add the noodles, wait for a couple of minutes, or until the noodles are getting soft (that takes a couple of minutes, incidentally).
Umm... that's about it. I was planning to add something informative and/or humorous at the end, but I can't think of anything.
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I used red onions, because I like them. If you're too manly to eat anything that's red, any kind of onion should do
i would be more concerned with yeller onions...
portobello mushrooms
portobello sounds a bit fancy-schmance.
"McCallum's Stout"
here's where we hit a definite grey area. what arbiter of manliness are we working from, anyway? because the seemingly-overarching north american one seems to rely on blind devotion to the lowest common denominators of malt beverages. it can certainly be argued, with or without clarity, that there are far manlier beverages than coors, bud, molson, et al. in the world. i personally hold up the scots as one of the inherently manlier races, but for some there is The Kilt Thing...
(i also personally adore portobellos{london broil style!!} and red onions{preferably raw, but grill all the other colours crispy, but let those pass.)
I was planning to add something informative and/or humorous at the end, but I can't think of anything.
*shaking fist* damn you!
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Portabello mushrooms are also nice.
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yeah, they're oKAY... :-[
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I think there are several issues that need to be considered.
1. If a pirate were to eat tofu, would that make tofu manly? Since by definition pirates are manly.
2. Since tofu comes from Soya Beans, and beans are eaten lots in Mexico, does that make Tofu manly? Its important to consider that Mexico has attacked the U.S.A, which requires much manliness.
3. Since Samurai eat tofu, are they considered manly or does it make them a Sissy. This one may not be so clear as the Pirate=manly. More discussion is needed on this point.
As a complete aside, tofu=taste absorber. Awesome buritos can be made using tofu in place of the normal chicken, and chicken=!manly.
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I have a shaker sitting on my counter that's full of dried peppers that are red, but they are not Red Peppers. They're habaneros. Red Peppers are sweet, not spicy. What the heck is going on here?
I'm also told that eating a portabella is like eating a steak, so that sort of balances things out against the whole hoidy-toidy thing associated with eating insanely expensive stuff. Not that I'd ever condone eating a vegetable in place of a steak, mind you.
As for onions, ummmm... well, the red ones are the sweetest, so they could be faintly sissyish. Then again, Texas Sweet onions are sweet, but no one ever accused Texas of being a wuss-state. Obviously a very confusing topic, the masculinity levels of food.
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I'm also told that eating a portabella is like eating a steak, so that sort of balances things out against the whole hoidy-toidy thing associated with eating insanely expensive stuff. Not that I'd ever condone eating a vegetable in place of a steak, mind you.
Are portobello mushrooms insanely expensive? I never noticed, and I eat them regularely. Umm... you could steal them, I suppose. That should be manly enough (although a friend of mine went to a feminist self defense camp with a group of anarko-feminists, who had stolen some of the food that was served there, so if your masculinity is in doubt, stealing food will not automatically solve your problems. On the other hand, nobody ever accused anarko-feminists of being sissies, which was what the discussion was originally about).
As for onions, ummmm... well, the red ones are the sweetest, so they could be faintly sissyish. Then again, Texas Sweet onions are sweet, but no one ever accused Texas of being a wuss-state. Obviously a very confusing topic, the masculinity levels of food.
Which is where the beer comes in. "When your masculinity is questioned, add alcohol", I believe the saying goes.
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@Melora: Anything with Mayo is gross.
how about peanut butter and jelly with Mayo? that was one of his favorites!
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I have a shaker sitting on my counter that's full of dried peppers that are red, but they are not Red Peppers. They're habaneros. Red Peppers are sweet, not spicy. What the heck is going on here?
The strange ways of Canadia are apparently confusing you. Red pepper flakes are made from dried hot peppers. Of what kind, I do not know.
@melora: I just ate, and now I'm wishing I hadn't. Yech.
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2. Since tofu comes from Soya Beans, and beans are eaten lots in Mexico, does that make Tofu manly? Its important to consider that Mexico has attacked the U.S.A, which requires much manliness.
too many types of beans. let's not get carried away here.
3. Since Samurai eat tofu, are they considered manly or does it make them a Sissy. This one may not be so clear as the Pirate=manly. More discussion is needed on this point.
i absolutely balk at calling anyone with standard-issue nikken and a culturally-reinforced chip on their shoulder a 'sissy'. :-\
imo, the pirate image was somewhat ill-founded on certain persons being jealous/envious of others who got to live on the high seas. there are arguments {unlikely to hold water on PPG, i'll freely admit} holding that pirates, stereotypically, are too flamboyant to be manly.
EDIT: no i did NOT mean nisei! ::)
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there are arguments {unlikely to hold water on PPG, i'll freely admit} holding that pirates, stereotypically, are too flamboyant to be manly.
Thank you. That makes for an awesome signature quote. :)
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at last i have made my fleeting mark. ;D
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I have seem some good ones in my time and I agree that would be a great one. :)
pansyflake
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Why don't you just pick a manly language, like german or something, and see weather the noun for "tofu" (or any food, really) is masculine, feminine, or neuter.
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Having read that article in the Testostorone magazine that Jester posted (go on, tell me how you first began to suscribe to it), it's all over people. Tofu lowers your testostorone levels.
Sissy as.
And the recipes were so good.
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Why don't you just pick a manly language, like german or something, and see weather the noun for "tofu" (or any food, really) is masculine, feminine, or neuter.
Tofu is masculine in German, but I don't think that makes it manly :)
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Having read that article in the Testostorone magazine that Jester posted (go on, tell me how you first began to suscribe to it), it's all over people. Tofu lowers your testostorone levels.
well, if testosterone is truly a clincher, then are we to consider increased vulnerability to infection, male pattern baldness and low sperm count inherently manly traits?
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If tofu caused them, could we consider it unsissy?
Perhaps tofu's essential problem is that it is good for you. Hence it's wussy rep.
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I'm also told that eating a portabella is like eating a steak, so that sort of balances things out against the whole hoidy-toidy thing associated with eating insanely expensive stuff. Not that I'd ever condone eating a vegetable in place of a steak, mind you.
Are portobello mushrooms insanely expensive? I never noticed, and I eat them regularely. Umm... you could steal them, I suppose. That should be manly enough (although a friend of mine went to a feminist self defense camp with a group of anarko-feminists, who had stolen some of the food that was served there, so if your masculinity is in doubt, stealing food will not automatically solve your problems. On the other hand, nobody ever accused anarko-feminists of being sissies, which was what the discussion was originally about).
Portobello's are usually expensive but they are a great substitute for meat in a hamburger. I like them with Swiss cheese but they are best sautee'd and eaten with steak. ;D
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@testosterone: Eral, I have a beer or two every now and then to counter too much testosterone, like any man should. :) I also subscribed to Estrogen Weekly to balance that other erm publication.
@ Sissy=TofU:
It's got a package of almond-flavoured tofu in there, a banana, a good dose of blueberries and strawberries, and some sort of mango/pineapple/orange juice I had in the fridge.
Actually tofu is the last thing you have to worry about:
1. Real man never eat any fruit. (Hunting fruit is no fun)
2. They equally reject salads and anything else that can be gathered by creatures as lowly as wimin.
3. A SHAKE???!!!
( A dimly lit cave, somewhere in the nit so distant past):
Gurak: Well, my fellow Barbarians, then I sunk my teeth into a tasty....... shake.
Fellow Barbarians: ???*Grunt* (WTF?)
Gurak gets instantly demoted to gathering berries on the hunter's sekrit peeing grounds.
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You're forgetting one key part of manliness here. Laziness. Why would I bother hunting down some wild animal when I could just choke down some vile sludge of super nutrients, and get back to conquering the galaxy?
(Or, yeah, wasting time on IRC while wishing laundry took less effort to do.)
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Laziness + inability to do the demanded task properly has freed me from most household duties in the past. I think I see the light.
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okay, the criteria are becoming clearer.
manly - not necessarily virile