Pocket Plane Group

Miscellany, Inc. => Fan Fiction => Topic started by: cliffette on June 15, 2004, 01:37:43 AM

Title: Comments on "Half-Empty"
Post by: cliffette on June 15, 2004, 01:37:43 AM
The grass is always greener, I guess. Sadira's discontent is captured well, but it makes me feel quite restless too, because there's no real cure for her situation besides a change of perspective.. she wants it all and she knows she wants it all and is being unreasonable, but the distance between the head and the heart is a big one. It's good, but I wish there'd been more to resolve this, though life doesn't work that way (but perhaps fanfiction does? :)).

I really liked the 'annoyed sort of affection' and her small and saddening consolation that she is still a great heroine in his eyes. They need to communicate!

As a side note, after the confusion about the literal use of the word 'duck', I found this line kind of funny:

"Kelsey said and looked down to hide a grin as his wife exploded with indignation."

Ouch!
Title: Re: Comments on "Half-Empty"
Post by: Ajnos on June 21, 2004, 11:49:20 PM
The grass is always greener, I guess. Sadira's discontent is captured well, but it makes me feel quite restless too, because there's no real cure for her situation besides a change of perspective.. she wants it all and she knows she wants it all and is being unreasonable, but the distance between the head and the heart is a big one. It's good, but I wish there'd been more to resolve this, though life doesn't work that way (but perhaps fanfiction does? :)).

I really liked the 'annoyed sort of affection' and her small and saddening consolation that she is still a great heroine in his eyes. They need to communicate!

Thanks for commenting.  I had trouble with Sadira, I found her sympathetic but not likable to write.  Still, there isn't really anything more to add, the longer version would probably be about leaving only to find that what one needed was what one had way back in Part One.


As a side note, after the confusion about the literal use of the word 'duck', I found this line kind of funny:

"Kelsey said and looked down to hide a grin as his wife exploded with indignation."

Ouch!

Oy.  Now I can never read that the same way again.  *snicker*