The best solution I've found for avoiding the delay in Anomen's quest is to avoid installing the "ignore race/gender" option of Weimer Ease of Use or other mods which allow the player to circumvent romance conventions.
If you're female and of the appropriate race, Anomen's romance will start normally, whether or not you choose to pursue it. Anomen's quest will start normally. If you can delay telling him to take a hike long enough for his Quest to complete, things will go more smoothly. In most dialogs, you can ask Anomen to postpone a lovetalk with few consequences.
If you're male and do not have the "ignore race/gender" option installed, Anomen's quest will start normally.
If you've got the "ignore race/gender" option installed, because, say, you want to indulge in multiple romances, and you are running a male pc, Anomen's quest will never begin. Sure the big galoot should start sweet-talking your pc, but it never happens. Nor does his quest ever start. His global variables will come back as Match=1, RomanceActive=1, but he'll never launch the first LT, and Terl will never show up.
I know it isn't supposed to work this way. But it does.
Earlier, I thought there wasn't enough love in the world, so my male pc was involved with all 3 bioware ladies. Anomen was also in the party, and his quest didn't start for months, game time. I finally gave up and left him in the Copper Coronet.
Later on, I decided I didn't really need the whole multiple romance business, so I uninstalled it, and the "i r/g". The very next game I ran with a male pc, Anomen's quest ran as it should.